Comments on: Part 1: “Love Won Out” — What’s Love Got To Do With It?

By: Gromm

Gromm — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 19:54:26 +0000

You said:

“But those who attend Love Won Out don’t go there because of hate.”

Which reminds me of this little quote (source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0681314/quotes):

Brian Kinney: [to Craig Taylor] So in other words, for Justin to live here with you, he has to deny who he is… what he thinks… and how he feels.
Craig Taylor: No one asked for your opinion, Pal.
Brian Kinney: Well, that’s not love. That’s hate.

Sorry, but the man you immediately write about there as proof that he’s not there because of hate, you don’t understand what you mean when you say “[they] don’t go there because of hate”. That man may love his son, be proud of his every accomplishment, yearn deeply for his return. But that man also hates the homos so much that he cannot stand the fact that his son is in fact, gay.

And so he shows up here, desperate for the answer to the question “Why can’t he just *change*?!” Expecting your children – especially the adult children – to change so that you can love them fully, is folly motivated by hatred. And I say that as a parent myself. You either love your children for who they are, or you don’t *really* love them. All he has to do is change a thought. What he’s asking his son to do is change who he *is*. This place isn’t helping him, it’s preying *upon* him. It’s selling him a lie because he desperately wants to believe it. These people may as well be trying to sell cod liver oil as a cure for cancer. And there’s conferences for *that* too.

By: tips about golf » Box Turtle Bulletin

tips about golf » Box Turtle Bulletin — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 11:25:10 +0000

[...] Why I Went To “Love Won Out” Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With it? Part 2: Parents Struggle With “no Exceptions” Part 3: A Whole New Dialect [...]

By: Sissy Boys and Crushed Spirits « Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Sissy Boys and Crushed Spirits « Peterson Toscano's A Musing — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:46:25 +0000

[...] Jim’s attention to detail and his compassion that runs deep and in many directions (read his report about parents who seek a cure for their queer children.) I feel grateful that Kirk’s brother and sister found in Jim [...]

By: Love the Straight Supremacist–Hate Straight Supremacy « Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 14:17:36 +0000

[...] leadership Exodus has taken over the Love One Out conferences, a day long event that assures parents and church youth workers that their queer youth need not stay that way. They offer testimonies of people who claim they have changed, and project photographs of former [...]

By: Kimc

Kimc — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 10:23:44 +0000

My therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion — that the primary emotion behind it is hurt. That father expressed his hurt to you, with his tears and quivering lip, hurt and grieving for the son he thought he knew. but when he talks with his son, his ego gets in the way and his hurt gets expressed as anger. and anger begets anger, so his son is angry back, when he is really hurt that he can’t see the love he has every right to expect from his parents.
And yes, this muddle of emotions and hurt feelings and misunderstandings is all due to the lies told about homosexuality. And yes, the leaders know what they are doing and don’t care. but the families: the parents and the gay sons and daughters — are all the victims here.
but the leaders make money at this, so they are American heroes, because all America counts anymore is money. We don’t count. Only our money has value, not our selves. What does that sound like to you? Brad Hicks says the religious right made a pact with the devil in 1964. If they did, isn’t this what it would look like?

By: A Gay Blogger Undercover At “Love Won Out” « Camels With Hammers

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:02:38 +0000

[...] is an account of an experience with a devastated and bewildered father alienated from his son over his … let me draw your attention to a gentleman I talked to in one quiet little corner of the church [...]

By: Julius_Gay

Julius_Gay — Sun, 13 May 2007 08:22:46 +0000

Orange Julius Gay

Its a shame society does that to people this is the us of a as i am told

By: Julius_Gay

Julius_Gay — Sun, 13 May 2007 08:21:46 +0000

I agree.

By: Steve

Steve — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 06:18:46 +0000

Perhaps the sign protestors need to carry at these things is:
“Free yourself from shame. Love your child for who he is”

Exodus pushes the attendees so hard to seek change in another, when they all must really seek to find change in themselves. It tells them: “Ignore the beam in your own eye; if you have fault, it is in the past and the past cannot be changed. It is they who can and must change.”

By: texas dem

texas dem — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 03:03:28 +0000

You’re right that gay activists are wrong to use the “hate” lines when directly confronting Love Won Out attendees. The parents of gay people generally aren’t haters, although due to some tragic misunderstandings they often do awful and truly hateful things.

The line that these people — the parents and other consumers of this information, not the producers of it — need to be confronted with is not “no more hate” or “hate-free zone” but “no more lies” and “the truth will set you free.” The correct criticism is not “you are full of hate” but “you have been told lies.” If the Truth can win, it will clear the air of the lies and darkness that have blocked love and perverted it into anger and sadness and bitterness and yes, hatefulness. If the Truth wins out, love will be able to find itself again.

Anyway, when confronting these people, it’s not “no more hate”, but rather “no more lies.” That’s the core of the problem here. And telling a grief-stricken mother she’s hateful won’t get her anywhere, but telling her she’s been lied to might get her thinking.