Comments on: Exodus’s “Dialogue” Turns Ugly

By: Ex-Gay Watch » XGW Exclusive: Exodus President Defends Response to Former Ex-Gays' Apology

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:38:39 +0000

[...] A little over a week ago, three former Exodus leaders issued an apology “to those individuals and families who believed our message that there is something inherently wrong with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.” In response, Exodus president Alan Chambers wrote an entry in his personal blog claiming, among other things, that he forgave one of the three, Darlene Bogle, for negatively affecting him when she “decision to go back into homosexuality.” The post had a terse tone to it and elicited strong responses. [...]

By: Darlene

Darlene — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 16:03:15 +0000

I’m always amazed at how the story gets told through the years. If my brothers and sisters from Exodus were concerned about me “going back” from my faith commitment and held discussions on that topic…Where was their Biblical response to come after me to restore me? Amazing. I know folks were confused that I made a change in my being comfortable with a same sex relationship, but my faith was as strong and still is, in the belief that Jesus is leading me each step of the Way. I was surprised at Alan’s response to our apology, but if he feels he needs to be caustic to make a point, then that is for him to live with. I have long ago forgiven those who do not walk in love toward me, or the hundreds of men and women who have come to celebrate their sexuality and their spirituality. Our discussions will continue in Heaven someday. Peace

By: Jim Burroway

Jim Burroway — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:41:53 +0000

No, I didn’t act in haste. And if you read what I wrote, I didn’t call Alan a jerk. Well, not directly, anyway. But if I got too close to doing that, I won’t quibble.

But I think it’s appropriate to compare his actions to those whose response might be characterized as a jerk’s response. That’s what I was getting to. It was the first thing that came to my mind, and on two day’s reflection it still seems to be the best way to describe his actions. I could have described his behavior as “childish” instead, which was my second thought (and I did end up saying it was childish here.) But in this post I went with my first. It may not be my best, but I stand by that characterization of his behavior. He may not be a jerk, but he certainly behaved like one. And I’ll repeat: Alan is a better man than this.

As far as the Exodus conference going badly, that doesn’t seem to be the case — at least not according to my personal observations. I don’t see how they can see it as anything but a rousing success. But I do think that perhaps Alan may not be accustomed to having an informed presence to speak to other experiences from the same movement that Alan leads.

By: Lynn David

Lynn David — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 08:53:32 +0000

If Alan posted out of anger and frustration which led to him being tired and cranky, does that mean the Exodus Freedom Conference came off badly?

By: Joe Brummer

Joe Brummer — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 02:41:30 +0000

Scott,
How much will I give him the benefit of the doubt? Until I have no more left to give.

He is human. At one point in time, the same people we are praising for apologies for what they have done, where Alan. We have no idea what the future will bring and we must support each other no matter what. It is just my belief.

Alan is blind to the harm. He is scared of it, but I have never seen any ex-gay so willing to at best, try. He does try. Will he be perfect, no and neither we will.

I do not object to Jim’s take on the apology, but I do take exception to Jim calling Alan a Jerk. I see Jim may have said it out of haste, just like Alan’s post may also come out of haster. It shows none of us are perfect. BUt calling Alan names like Jerk isn’t that helpful, not do I think it is Jim’s best.

By: gordo

gordo — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 02:30:58 +0000

This is just more of Alan’s Big Bag of BS.

Hate crimes? He was a victim.
Apologies? He’s owed one.
Civil Rights? He’s been discriminated against?

Oh, please.

By: Scott

Scott — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 02:21:14 +0000

Joe, I think you’re great and I’ve read your blog for a while now.

However, how much benefit of the doubt are you going to give to Alan?

He’s been caught in lie after lie after lie. It’s obvious that his job is only a front for exposure so he can sell books and get honorariums to speak.

Why do you assume the best of this person when it’s obvious he’s working the Christian speaking circuit (and you)?

By: Joe Brummer

Joe Brummer — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 01:02:25 +0000

Perhaps Alan responded in anger or frustation. That doesn’t make him a jerk, it makes him human. Perhaps, Alan was tired and cranky when he wrote this repsonse, that also doesn’t make him a jerk, it also makes him human.

I would love Alan to respond to the apology when he is calm, collected and rational. I bet his response will be his better side. Either way, I still don’t think he is a jerk. He is human.

By: AM

AM — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 00:05:15 +0000

I, too, am curious about the “take” on this.

Did Alan also feel betrayed by John Paulk and his Mr. P.’s excursion (the one he was caught at) as *he* (John) had also “written a book, spoken at conferences, been a ministry leader (actually a gender specialist)”?

Or did the “spin” on it make the boo-boo go away (sorry for the sarcasm) as John was just going back to get “unmet needs met” (in a gay bar not among straight men in his church!) and Darlene has the courage to say that she *is* gay oriented which makes one, Alan Chambers, angry, etc…?

What is one person’s gay relations (or not) is truly in the eye of the beholder according to Exodus.

By: PW

PW — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 21:04:52 +0000

I was in ex-gay therapy group for a few years and I knew guys who abandoned the journey for various reasons. But I don’t recall thinking that those guys owed me an apology for making such choices; so I’m not relating to Mr. Chambers attitude as revealed in his statement.