That letter was posted as part of PFOX’s myspace page. I don’t know why PFOX has identified itself as a nineteen year old boy. You’ll have to ask them about that.

I really feel for the regular ex-gay folks out there. The ones that go to their ministry groups and don’t want anyone else to know of their “struggles.” The ones that don’t get involved in politics and only want to be able to change and live the life they imagine is what God desires for them.

Unfortunately, these ex-gays are being represented by folks who use their stories to try to oppress gay people. They are being used as pawns in a culture war, without their permission.

I have heard from several individual Exodus ministries that the political actions of Exodus and Focus on the Family only harm their organizations – guilty by association and all that.

I think, as a former ex-gay, my challenge is always to tell my story and tell the truth of what I experienced, while continuing to be respectful to those who are currently on that journey.

It is not easy being an ex-gay, no doubt. It’s hard to have all of this struggle, and to feel like the church only loves you with a lot of strings attached. It’s certainly not easy in the current political climate when your life is being used to justify hatred toward other people, and all you wanted to do was be healed and marry someone of the opposite sex!

Personally, I have no problem with people saying that they have experienced real change, as long as they are truthful about what that change is.

The anger that is coming to us from ex-gays is, in my opinion, quite misdirected, though. As has been noted, it’s interesting that while there have been tons of people who have come down hard on ex-gays, we (who are not actually bashing or saying anything negative about individual ex-gays) are receiving this level of anger unleashed on us. And we’re probably the ones who understand the plight of many ex-gays, as so many others have not. And we’re also the first to talk about the good that came out of our ex-gay experiences. We’re among the first to speak out about our experiences while still fostering friendships with ex-gays.

So there definitely is something else going on. I challenge anyone to find where Peterson and I have said anything denigrating to ex-gays or along the lines of not wanting them to exist in the same universe. Indeed, if they did not exist in the universe, I’d lose some folks I really care about!

Hysterical? Maybe you too would tire of being falsely labeled a hypocrite, self-deluded, fake, internalized homophobe, and worse.

Is this because if even one gay person publically admits to real change, gays are paranoid that they might be expected to change as well?

Therefore, exgays must be denigrated or better yet, cannot be allowed to exist in the same universe?

Is tolerance and respect for sexual diversity excluded just for exgays?

Generally when a reformed sinner relapses, they do so in defeat and guilt. When the hedonist returns to his whoring sinful ways, he has the grace to admit he’s a fallen sinner. And when the alcoholic goes back to the bottle, he doesn’t say, “oh, but I’m healthier drinking”.

But XXgays have the gall, the sheer nerve, to claim to be happier and freer than when ex-gay. And it is tremendously offensive to hear that all of your efforts and attempts and prayers and struggles may not only be ineffective – but may actually be keeping you from real happiness and peace with God.