How many marriages we talking about? And how many years are we talking about? Alan, your side always carries the banner of “many” or “lots” or “thousands” but when it’s time to do a head count, there’s only a handful of people standing under the banner.
Unlike you, I don’t accept anything on faith alone. Numbers speak volumes, if you have them, present them.

We’re waiting.

My heart goes out to you and your wife.

I hope you will search out and find others who have or are going through what you are experiencing.

You may wish to contact Beyond Ex-Gay if you went through that movement.

You may also find someone to listed from a spiritual perspective at the Gay Christian Network.

And your wife may want to talk to others at the Straight Spouse Network.

God bless you and I hope you are able to find peace.

I think that perhaps we both suffer from assuming that what we experience is the more universal experience.

For example, I don’t personally know any couples in which a husband was gay but the family stayed together and all was well. I thought that I did, and I was honestly happy for that situation… but sadly (and I was genuinely sad) it ended similarly to the story above.

In contrast, I suspect that you know people who face this situation and stay together. I wish them well and respect the sacrifices that both of them make for the sake of their kids and their faith.

While I certainly would never encourage someone who is primarily same-sex attracted to marry someone of the opposite sex (too many end up hurting everyone involved), I can respect that someone who is married would want to try and work to keep that marriage intact.

So if you carefully read what I wrote above, you’ll see that the “happy note” was that they both grew through the experience. And they seem to have no bitterness towards each other, which is so devastating on kids. And that, I believe, is a positive outcome regardless of what “cause” one may champion.

You almost seem thrilled that men leave their wives and families…like that is a triumph for your cause. It’s a tragedy.