I was in the Navy, and because I had developed deep-seeded friendships with men and women for whom I would have given my life, I was able to quietly open a few minds one by one.

My brother and my father come to mind, as they were originally quite resistant, but have since come around. My brother gave me the whole “that’s okay, just don’t talk to me about it.” thing (which I ignored) and my father smiled to my face and said evil things about gays when I wasn’t around. But now, they are both 100% accepting. My father always asks things like “is your new gym gay-friendly?” My partner is fully accepted into the family, welcome in my parent’s home, and treated as if we are already married.
Aside from that I have often been told I am “the coolest gay dude” by straight men who originally wouldn’t want anything to do with gays. The type of straight men who are actually kind of scared of gay people have said that they do not feel threatened or uncomfortable around me.

Shortly after I moved here it became clear that she had a “thing” for me. I’m guessing it is attractive to a single mother to see a loving ,committed, single father raising children by himself. Although I was always very friendly to her, I obviously never did anything to respond to her in any way but platonic. Eventually she went from hitting on me to not talking to me. I guess she was hurt or offended that I didn’t take the bait.

About a year later I decided to come out to some of my neighbors and since they talk, I essentially came out to all of them which was fine. All of a sudden she was very nice to me again because she no longer took it personally that I wasn’t interested in her. In a later discussion she told me that she had never really known any gay people and just assumed we were all like the people her church and James Dobson described. That I changed her views on gay people and gay parenting. That before she knew I was gay, she had believed what her church said about how gays were automatically unfit to be parents. She said that I was always her “model” father and by coming out, it made her realize that what her church was saying was not true.

The bottom line is that millions of people are told that we are depraved, God hating, sex fiends who’s main goal in life is to destroy the American family. They trust the people who tell them this and have no way of learning anything different. The progress on the legal front is certainly encouraging, especially what just happened in California. But even that is tenuous when it can be overturned by a simple majority of the people. Our families will always be at higher risk until we change the hearts of people. That is happening one person at a time and the way that is going to continue to happen is by coming out.

Great article and keep up the good work.