Thank you for the follow-up on Alan. I was struck by how raw my grief still is about the loss of my friend and I’m grateful that the New Yorker has helped to draw attention to his incredible life and the multiple identities he juggled throughout his journey.

When Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is overturned, I will take a moment in private to toast my dear friend who chose to give his life for his country.

The last time I saw Alan in the summer of 2007, I am convinced that he knew this assignment could be his last. I treasure the time we had together that summer weekend. We ate brunch during a beautiful morning sitting outside at the intersection of 48th St. and 9the Ave. in NYC, followed by a wonderfully emotional experience at a performance of the musical, The Color Purple.

We both shed tears and lent our voices of praise to Fantasia as she sang the final notes to the signature song in the show, “I’m beautiful and I’m here.” Alan was beautiful – his love touched so many people during the time he was here and I will be forever grateful for the time I had with him.