I can’t stand it sometimes that people can be SO inured of their own navels! Why won’t folks get that it’s not about ‘becoming’ gay or ‘choosing’, it’s about when is the time it’s safe to tell and talk about it?

When’s a good time to be honest and open and assured, from the beginning that being oneself won’t be a death sentence or a call for the family to act like or wish you were never born.

Why DON’T straight folks admit that they TAKE IT BAD when someone gay is around?!
And at the same time, make privacy impossible.
I see virtually nothing but paradoxes and impossible standards no one else has to live through confronting gay folks every day.
A lot of good grace is lost on such situations.

Sorry, I’m straight myself and it’s inexcusable, this line of thinking and denial.
Especially, when you lives such as this are violently and UNNECESSARILY, taken away.
Forgive my rant, but I can’t help feeling a terrible disturbance when violence like this happens.

Growing up in a very Mormon family, I had a uncle, (step-uncle actually) who was bashed coming out of some gay glub or gathering place in Salt Lake in the 80′s. He was not killed, but was left in a coma and brain damaged. Growing up hearing this story the moral was always along the lines that he should not have been there or some other variation leaving it assumed that it was his choice to go and that was the consequence. Looking back, I realize that my family’s attitude was a big factor in my staying in the closet, and even getting married to “fix” this issue. While the story is sad for the prsons involved, it grows sadder when you know that the story itself will cause more gay men and women to more firmly entrench themselves in the closet and emboldon those who feel it is their right to put those who are different in their place.

My uncle recovered, and I knew him to be funny and different. He tried hard to get married again and live the life expected of him, but I could always see the sadness and fear left over from the attack and his own family’s reaction to it. It would be extremely difficult to deal with something like that, but to feel that you own family believed it was your fault would be even harder…

Thanks for reporting on these stories. It is sometimes good to be reminded that no matter how much progress we make, there is still so much to be done.