However, I find encouragement when I read about another poll, but this time it’s in New Jersey. They are 48% to 43% in favor of civil unions for gays. Very similar to the results of a recent poll here in Utah.

Actually, you can be a little more encouraged that you thought. That poll in NJ was for same-sex marriage. NJ already has civil unions which technically provide all of the rights and responsibilities of marriage. The civil unions came as a result of a NJ Supreme court ruling which gave the legislature the option of calling it civil unions or marriage. As far as I know there really wasn’t any significant backlash after that.

Regarding you staying in Utah or fleeing, I’m sure it is a very difficult decision to move your whole life somewhere else. And being in Utah you probably have to move a long distance to find a better place. How far is Denver? I have lived in one midwestern state and one southern state, and have now ended up about 65 miles from where I was born in the northeastern part of the US. One of the convenient things about the northeast is that if you grow up in a stifling small town, you don’t have to move very far to be in a major city and still be close enough for day-trips to visit family.

However, I find encouragement when I read about another poll, but this time it’s in New Jersey. They are 48% to 43% in favor of civil unions for gays. Very similar to the results of a recent poll here in Utah.

Maybe there is a trend happening across this country. We just have to remember to avoid getting stuck in the muck.

And I do believe Mr. Chris Buttars is relishing this notoriety. So much so, he is glowing…absolutely glowing from all the attention. Can you see the green toxic glow around him? His aura is definitely glowing. And that, maybe, is why he gets re-elected all the time.

Ignore the man. Make him crawl back to his waste disposal of a district and maybe his only legacy will be his hatred and his obsession with gays.

To see the full context of the observation:

Like a polluted swamp, anti-gay bigotry is likely to get thicker and more toxic as it dries up.

take a look at the very good article that appeared on the website of the New Yorker Magazine regarding the passage of prop 8: Eight is Enough.

Your comments have given me a lot of encouragement. Thanks for that!

It may seem odd, but I feel more fury now that so much has improved than I did years ago when things were much worse in our part of the U.S.. I think I know the reasons, and I’ll try to explain:

It is only in hindsight that I can see how beaten-down, shy, intimidated, fearful, and inhibited I felt for most of my life. At the time, I wished things could be different, but I could not possibly know how that difference would feel. Nor could I know how much of my condition was due to being gay in a hostile society. But now I know that it was almost entirely the gay issue. Only now am I able to know what it actually feels like to be mostly free of those old feelings. You can’t really know what a different state of being would feel like until you actually experience it.

So why am I more furious now? One reason is that I feel some bitterness that I lived so much of my life in a beaten down state. Another is that I feel sad for those still living in the hellholes of the nation.

And another big reason is exposure every day to the relentless vile anti-gay rhetoric. Years ago people didn’t really articulate their anti-gay attitudes, but of course we always knew the attitudes were there. Sure, gays would hear demeaning gay jokes, be called faggot, or beaten up, but there were no organized anti-gay campaigns. They didn’t need campaigns because almost everyone was in agreement about homos.

Here is an example of how things have changed at a personal level. A few years ago I arranged a surprise birthday party for my partner at a gay restaurant. Both of our extended families were there. And our families have been to dinner in each other’s homes.

Another example: When we first moved to our house in the city over 25 years ago, we were both nervous about being seen entering or leaving together. We were the only gays on our block, to our knowledge. But now there are seven gay households on the block, and the attitudes of other neighbors are no longer of any concern. And this is not a gay neighborhood by any means.

Yet another example: My sister and her husband are good friends with a gay couple, and they have gone on several vacations together (including another one next week).

Don’t give up hope. I think the bigots are gasping for breath. The world is changing and their heads are exploding.

you say:

And almost all gays were completely closeted with family, “friends,” and at work and school – we had to be to survive.

That’s pretty much how it is today in a lot of aspects. Maybe I don’t quite understand the level of suppression that was in the past as compared to the level now. But, I get the feeling it was much worse.

And Mr. Scott P,
Yeah…it’s a major scratch on my lenses and I doubt they can be repaired. I’m going to look for another pair with perhaps not so rosy of a tint next time around.

I realize my perspective is influenced by living in the northeast part of the country, whereas I may see it differently if I lived in Utah or Alabama.

Just the fact that our society is now having a conversation/debate about us that often plays-out in the so-called mainstream media is huge progress. In 1969 there was no debate, as virtually everyone viewed us as vile degenerates who could be treated literally as criminals. There was no conversation because the subject was considered virtually unspeakable. And almost all gays were completely closeted with family, “friends,” and at work and school – we had to be to survive. Only people who were living on the far fringes of society could and did have the courage to storm out of the Stonewall into the streets.

“I personally would like to see all of Christianity banned worldwide, for obvious discriminatory current and historical reasons.”

I say this in anger lots of times, but when I calm down, I am at a loss to come up with a reason why this would necessarily help gay people.