Comments on: The Consequences of Anti-Gay Bullying

By: stephne

stephne — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:09:07 +0000

this is crazy cuz people and kidz r so mean now and days now wat if they was gay they wouldnt want anyone to do that to them :>(

By: An Argument For Gay Marriage And Against Traditionalism « Camels With Hammers

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:19:50 +0000

[...] you care about the alarmingly high rate of suicides by gay teens, if you care about the disproportionate bullying gay kids suffer, I don’t see how you could oppose using our institutions to send the message that no class of [...]

By: courtney nelson

courtney nelson — Thu, 28 May 2009 22:18:25 +0000

i think erics parents should sue the school because i lost one of my friends thanks to bullying at mentor high. i go to mentor high and i hate it. the kids there are very rude and mean and the school and the staff in it do not care what happens. if an event such as this happens they act like they are going to take action but they dont. i remember when i got the call the day my friend passed. the school told me that i was allowed to moarn and take the day off but to make sure i didnt miss too much school and to make sure i get my school work done.
there is bullying that goes on pretty much everyday its truely sick.
none of mentor highs policies are good in that fact. i could go all day with this. mentor high is a bad school.

R.I.P ERIC MOHAT AND SLADJANA VIDOVIC
YOU IWLL BE MISSED GREATLY.
AND WE WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT MENTOR HIGH EVEN IF IT DOES TAKE AWHILE. WE NEED TO MAKE A STOP TO BULLYING AND WE NEED TO ACT NOW.

By: A Fistful of Reasons, Part II: The Trouble with Bullies | Sara Puotinen: Professional Troublemaker

Wed, 13 May 2009 21:15:47 +0000

[...] after being taunted, verbally abused, and physically threatened. As many have argued–like Box Turtle Bulletin and Advocate–the cause of these suicides was not just harassment but anti-gay harassment that [...]

By: Aconite

Aconite — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:34:28 +0000

Regarding “standing up to bullies” being the answer, Pam’s House Blend reports this as part of the Advocate’s interview with Carl’s mother:

“…Days prior to Carl Walker-Hoover’s suicide, he confronted a female bully who verbally accosted him. The event served as an apparent catalyst to Walker’s suicide. The school’s response was to have the two students sit beside one another during lunch for the next week to encourage conversation.”

By: Eddie89

Eddie89 — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:04:12 +0000

If the school administration did not act immediately and forcefully to remedy the bullying situation, I would not hesitate to take my child out of that hostile school environment and do whatever it takes to get him/her an education somewhere else, eg. home school, private school, relocation, etc.

By: Timothy Kincaid

Timothy Kincaid — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:06:02 +0000

Ben,

I know that your opinion is that there are no “safe places” and that parents have to toughen up their kids. You advocate for fighting back.

It is my opinion that this ignores a common fact about bullying: Bullies often hunt like wolves.

They will separate their prey from the herd of school kids and attack him in a pack. And they will pick the smallest and easiest prey.

So you can create “bully-proof kids” all you like, but if they are the smallest in class they are helpless.

And if they have a characteristic (say new kid, or different race or religion, or a physical peculiarity, or not gender conforming, or even just have differnt interests) then they can easily be isolated and targeted by a pack of bullies.

So, frankly, your advice is of little help to the kids who we discussed here. And it is way beyond offensive and cruel to suggest that they should somehow have been bully-proof. Nor is it useful to blame these parents; in both cases they were valiantly fighting a hostile administration on (in Carl’s case) a weekly basis.

By: Priya Lynn

Priya Lynn — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:40:13 +0000

Ben, its rather naive to think you’re going to equip children to protect themselves from verbal and physical harrassment when its one lone child against a schoolhouse full of bullies. Children aren’t superheroes, bullying is only going to stop when the adults in the schools take charge and put and end to it. Merely by supervising children between classes in the hallways and playgrounds would make a huge difference.

By: Jason D

Jason D — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:29:46 +0000

Ben, with all due respect, we’re past the point of “hurt feelings” with bullying. And how exactly would “inner grit” and “resilience” have helped, say, Lawrence King? His bully decided to bring a gun to school and blow his head off. From the reports I read, Lawrence DID stand up to his bully. Lot of good that did him.

I’ve yet to see a situation, outside a movie, wherein standing up to a bully actually did any good…maybe that worked in the 50’s, but nowadays the Bully decides to up the stakes. Things escalate, and you have something like Columbine on your hands.

By: Ben Leichtling

Ben Leichtling — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:05:10 +0000

This really isn’t about anti-gay bullying and abuse. It’s about stopping all bullying and abuse. The bullies used whatever came to hand or mouth – their hatred of gays. The principals and school district administrators didn’t protect either boy, just like they don’t protect most targets of bullying and abuse. That’s why we need laws to force principals to act and to protect them from countersuits by bullying parents of little terrorists.

Also notice that none of the teachers or the other kids stood up to the bullies. Shame.

We also can’t and shouldn’t count on schools to protect our children from hurt feelings all the time. We must help our children develop the inner grit and resilience to know how to protect themselves from verbal harassment as well as from physical abuse.

Disclosure: In addition to having six children, I’m a practical, pragmatic coach and consultant. I’ve written books of case studies, “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “How to Stop Bullies in their Tracks.” Check out my website and blog at BulliesBeGone (http://BulliesBeGone.com).