Comments on: Ex-Gay Advocate Seeks to Out Gay Co-Workers

By: Angela Merici

Angela Merici — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:14:14 +0000

The fact that he is saying that the gays are hypocritical when he filed the public disclosure request a full month prior to the whosigned.org group announced their intent and the injunction process was started 2 days before is interesting to me. He has a problem with the whosigned.org group outing people but he was in process of outing people prior to it being announced. Also it isn’t like the gay community shares a collective thought process. None of the city employees involved in the injunction are actually involved with the whosigned.org group. Honestly the people on the injunction are pretty much just offended at the fact that a man who has been known to show up at affinity group meetings and read the bible verses calling gays abominations then sue the city when he is told he isn’t welcome at the meetings any longer for religious discrimination can be handed a list of targets for him to harass. He has shut down the GLBTF groups at the city a few times with his cry of religious discrimination if there is any push back from the groups. Likewise no one in the LGBTQ&F group has attempted to block him from starting an ex-gay group but I hardly see how if he is starting an ex-gay group the names of people who are gay and not interested in changing that would be of any help to him at all.

By: Ben in Oakland

Ben in Oakland — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:57:27 +0000

Jason– good for you. I came to the same conclusion about AA years ago when I was visiting some friends. One of them had a a sign in his room: “The point is not ‘resolving not to go to the bar’. The point is to have other things that are more important than going to the bar.’

The only way to stop being an alcoholic is to decide that something else is more important than taking a drink. ultimately, the only way to stop being an alcoholic is to stop drinking. Until one can make that decision, one remains an alcoholic.

AA supports people in that decision, and i think that is great. Yet I still remember a former friend of mine who was still going to AA meetings 3 timnes a week, and it had been 20 years since thel ast time he had a drink. His life was STILL about alcohol. My brother at 48 years old, STILL blamed our parents for the mess of his life 30 years atfer he had moved out. He never oculd answer the question: “Well, dave, all that might bre true. but what are you going to do now?”

Omne oculd easily make the same point about ex-gays. If you are not gay any more, why are you still obsessing about it? Just go ahead an be straihgt.

By: Ephilei

Ephilei — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:46:04 +0000

I agree. Go ahead and give the ex-gays a group – but only allow ex-gays to join lest it become a straights-against-gays group. When they find out no one is coming to the meetings, they’ll close the group voluntarily.

By: Mykell

Mykell — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:05:29 +0000

Why not let the guy have his ex-gay group? If the group doesn’t harass people, great. If the group does, disband it and tell him to f— off.

By: a. mcewen

a. mcewen — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:50:27 +0000

It’s what I feared when the campaign of making public the names of people who sign anti-gay law petitions.

The reasoning may be in our favor but it can get long winded. It’s easy to make short inaccurate analogies rather than explain a situation

And ultimately its about who can manipulate the situation to galvanize their troops and control the argument. In that case, who do we have to explain our side to match One News Now, Michelle Malkin, Fox News, Town Hall, and all of the others on the right?

By: Jason D

Jason D — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:05:09 +0000

I have to agree that the alcoholism analogy doesn’t quite work, as alcoholism isn’t as cut and dry as AA would like you to believe.

I quit drinking 4 years ago because I was a lush who could simply not reign in my drinking. I could(and have) gone on for pages about it, but suffice to say I had a problem, and the therapist I was seeing agreed.

So I quit. No meetings. No support groups. No freaking out. No feeling helpless. I just got my @$$ in gear and stopped. Cold turkey. I rejected the AA philosophy that I was helpless and needed other helpless, untrained drunks to cry to, complain to, and spend the rest of my life obsessing over something I stopped doing. Now I go to bars, clubs, can even use mouthwash with alcohol in it, can even hold someone’s drink while they go to the bathroom. Because I chose not to be a victim and feel helpless. I fail to see how feeling helpless and obsessing over something in any way shape or form helps anyone.

But I guess that’s how I feel about ex-gay groups too.

By: Keith

Keith — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:47:42 +0000

Phillip Irvin: “They (ex-gays) are the most vilified sexual minority, and I’m sorry to say that they’re not really welcomed in the religious community either.”

The logical response to this would be “Ok Mr. Irvin, so you agree that ex-gays and gays should not be vilified nor discriminated against and they should be allowed to get married?”

By: ----

---- — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:22:34 +0000

Neither homosexuality nor alcoholism are “diseases”, but unlike homosexuality, alcoholism can be prevented and gave up completely if someone is truly willing.

By: Richard W. Fitch

Richard W. Fitch — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:47:17 +0000

Maybe subconsciously Irwin is saying that he thinks homosexuality is something like alcoholism; you can remain sober but you can never be “cured”. Since for him being gay was a “dis-ease”, the only way to remain straight is through life-long support groups. However, ‘outing’ others who may be quite comfortable with their orientation seems counter-productive to obtaining any kind of support.

By: Burr

Burr — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:13:17 +0000

What’s the point of having an ex-gay group? If you’re ex-gay, you’re straight. Just be straight. You don’t need any “support” to be a member of the majority. Just stop referring to your gay past and get over it.