I am deeply disturbed that I should be asked to exempt what we see here from being called out as abusive just because it is part of a religious tradition, or that I should accord someone the right to do what they’re doing because they think they see a devil lurking in there somewhere.

The abusive conditions we’ve documented from the Memphis-based ex-gay residential program Love In Action are often justified because they are founded upon a religious tradition. In fact, LIA now makes a special point of that in order to avoid being regulated by the state of Tennessee. And besides, their practices certainly can’t be blamed on legitimate therapy, as the APA will have nothing to do with it.

LIA calls themselves a ministry, and all of the “clients” at Love In Action are there voluntarily — all the moreso because they have paid thousands upon thousands of dollars to be there. Almost all of them are there out of religious conviction, and many with the direct support of their pastors. And as far as I am aware, there have been no allegations of physical abuse of any kind.

And yet how can we describe their “Friends and Family Weekend” as anything other than abusive? Even though it could easily be justified as being based upon the early Christian tradition of confessing publicly one’s sins? As far as I know, they don’t make that claim. But just because they label it with a pseudo-psychological spin of cataloging one’s “personal inventory” for “accountability” purposes makes the outcome no different than if they had justified it as part of a long Christian tradition.

If what Manifested Glory Ministries did isn’t abusive then how can we go about setting a standard for abuse? Can we still describe Richard Cohen’s techniques as abusive? Does abuse only count if it’s physical?

But here’s the thing that really bothers me more than anything, and it’s the point that really weighed on my mind all day today. What if this video hadn’t been of a exorcism in a church? What if it had been a group therapy session led by a psychiatrist? Would we hesitate to call that abusive? What if it had been a teacher leading that student’s classmates through a supportive session to “drive out his homosexuality.” Would we not howl about the abuse? What if it had been a video taken in the young man’s living room with relatives all around? Wouldn’t’ we want child protective services to intervene?

I would no more give a teacher, counselor, or family member a pass than I would a pastor. If there is a teaching method, therapeutic method, or theory of family dynamics that someone could point to in order to justify their actions, I would still oppose it. And if there is a pastor somewhere who thinks they know the mind of their very small god and uses that as justification, then I will loudly oppose that just as well.

And I would do that for one very simply reason: There are far too many people who have been “exorcized” or otherwise prayed-over who have never made it to adulthood. And there are so many others who have, but who have gone on to live horribly messed-up lives. That’s the best evidence for abuse that I can think of.

I offer a very heartfelt congratulations to the many who have experienced these things and survived intact, but we can only guess at the type of abuse one recently-deceased singer went through as a child. We cannot turn a blind eye and give an abuser a pass for any reason, even if it’s because they follow a self-confirming “god” through the choosing of their God-given free will.

Thank you both for sharing your very personal stories and for adding your perspective.

Being gay and also being raised to believe that I was condemned to Hell caused me to develop serious social anxiety as well as depression. I contemplated suicide throughout my youth.

When I finally got the courage to accept myself and come out, my sister laid hands on me to cast out the homosexual demon (similar to what was shown on that video).

Even though at that point I had rejected those types of religious beliefs it was still a horrible and traumatic experience. Just to know that my sister and other family members considered me to be demonic was horrifying.

My family has never accepted that I am gay. They have refused to accept or acknowledge it since the day that I came out. They talk to me as if I am straight and will eventually marry a woman. They still say homophobic things about gay people right to my face.

Religion can seriously mess people up.

I’d caution that we not let religion be a justification for almost any behavior or belief. While the First Amendment includes a specific prohibition against the regulation of religion, that’s not a magic shield that protects all religious practices. Otherwise any behavior could be justified by simply invoking religious tradition.

He was very insidious in the approach he took. Several of the later sessions that happened after I moved from New York to Lake City became intense forms of exorcism wherein I was told to shout into a pillow and tell Satan “Satan I know who you are and you are not going to affect me with homosexuality any longer” and other similar phrases. Those events and experiences with him created immense anxiety for me to the point that I had to start going to a reputable therapist who told me that what I had been through was dangerous and only intensified my conflict which eventually resulted in depression.

I finally realized that what this man was leading me through was manipulative and total b.s. (I spent thousands of dollars on this “rebirthing”)and I became incredibly angry. Timothy think about how damaging it is spiritually, mentally and emotionally to be brainwashed into believing that a very important core part of who you are is “evil” or “Demonic”. That is incredibly damaging in many ways and takes years to heal from. Some people never recover.

From MSNBC:

[The video] shows church members standing the youth on his feet by holding him under his arms, and people shouting as organ music plays.

“Come out of his belly,” someone commands. “It’s in the belly — push.”

Later, the teenager is back on the floor, breathing heavily. Then he’s coughing and apparently vomiting into a bag.

“Get another bag,” a participant says. “Make sure you have your gloves.”