Comments on: Longitudinal Ex-Gay Study Update – Can Sexual Orientation be Changed?

By: Bruce Darr

Bruce Darr — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 06:06:22 +0000

I was raped by 4 of my brother’s friends at the age of five. I told my parents and they didn’t believe me. I yelled and called me a liar. They raped for 6 years. I found at the age of 6, I was on my own. I cleaned myself up after each incident telling no one. From that point on I allowed men to use me as they wanted because I believed that want I had to do to have male friends. It always started out as a nice man treating me well, then sex, then dumped. This went on for 2/3 of my life. I am now 58. I got married early in college to make myself straight. I have daughters and have been married over 30 years. On the day I decided to kill myself, I heard the tail end of a radio program saying I change. I jumped into the ex-gay lifestyle with both feet. I joined every recovery ministry, begged God to “fix-me,” save me, and make me normal. I was in leadership with each ministry hoping that would make my desire to become straight happen. But it never did. I speak 10 of thousands of dollars of Counselors, seminars’, books, tapes, hours of prayers. I blamed myself for not praying, learning, daily groups, and countless hours reading the Bible and praying with anyone who would talk with me. My daily war inside never let up. I was gay, I wasn’t. I loved God He didn’t love me. Twenty five years later the war continues, death is thought of everyday. There are no more classes, looks, ministers, people, prayers, advice of help that will get me out of this. Now I am in love with two men who are my best friends. I am still married, but unhappy and depressed most of the time since I can’t be with my guys all the time. I get time with them with I can….and that’s not much. I love these two married men. So I have to admit that moving to gay to straight DID NOT WORK FOR ME…. I am tired and can do now more. Ii will remain married until I die because I made a commitment to my wife and family. I plan to keep meeting my best male friends every Monday to touch and intimacy for as long as I can. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THESE MINISTRIES TO ANYONE. BE WHO YOU ARE….FORGET THE WORLD AND WHAT THEY SAY. It’s too late for me. I tried and failed but I love my two guy friends and they love me. So the cost in my life, money, time, pain, and tears was payment for these healthy relationships…. The ministry didn’t cure me. But it did bring men in my life who believes that we are all perfect just the way we are.

By: NOM Continues To Promote “Ex-Gay” Therapy | FavStocks

NOM Continues To Promote “Ex-Gay” Therapy | FavStocks — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:55:54 +0000

[...] await what the experts have to say about the final study, but the 2009 version of the study was thoroughly debunked and has been dismissed by the American Psychological [...]

By: Ray

Ray — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 22:47:09 +0000

I don’t know how I missed this, Timothy. I started following “The Great Conundrum” comment you made about Boyd K. Packer and worked my way here.

This is a Masterpiece in analysis.

Remember, when my twins are born, I’m naming them Timothy and Jim even if they’re girls.

You-Are-Amazing

By: Newsericks » Blog Archive » Crazy Like a PFOX (or, My Name is Regina Griggs and I’m Here to Recruit You)

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 08:04:14 +0000

[...] the “studies” that “prove” conversion works are [...]

By: Brian Mahieu

Brian Mahieu — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:38:05 +0000

I am a survivor of 19 years in the reparative therapy/transformational ministry movement. For the first 4 or 5 years I was undergoing weekly exorcisms to try to cleanse me of the “demons” related to being gay. Needless to say the experience was horribly debasing and I still have deep emotional scars from it. In good faith I married a woman as an expression of my faith that I had been “cured”. She and I were both victims of what I believe is a hoax. The marriage lasted 15 years. Another part of my process was christian psychotherapy and a cocktail of 4 drugs designed to kill my sex drive. My sexual orientation did not change in the least. When I admitted that to myself and those around me I was gay I was immediately shunned by my entire social circle, biological family and even kicked out of my own business. I am being treated for complex PTSD as a result of the years of emotional abuse in ex-gay programs and unaccepting home and social environments. In the end the choice I saw before me was to pray for death or to kill myself as I could not be “cured”. Ultimately I felt I could not do that to my wife, so I came out and dealt with the fallout. I feel that I wasted 19 years of my life trying to achieve the impossible, and I lost the entire social network, and most of the business contacts that I built in that time. This kind of ostracism is definitely not disclosed as a possible result of “failure” when entering into the transformational ministry movement.

By: Timothy Kincaid

Timothy Kincaid — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:49:13 +0000

Thanks Chris,

Actually I take a slightly different tack in that I differentiate between retrospective and prospective samples and point out that the heterosexuals that they produce are, well, not recognizable as heterosexual by anyone outside the ex-gay movement.

By: Chris McCoy

Chris McCoy — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:51:26 +0000

Was directed to this Youtube video yesterday on Facebook. Appears to be a rip off of your work here, Tim. No credit given at all either.

By: cd

cd — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:46:05 +0000

10% “success” and 15% turn to chastity….

(wow.)

By: Brady

Brady — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:35:15 +0000

Thanks for the correction, Timothy. Apparently I’ve been overestimating their size in my own mind. It still seems like they should have been able to find people more easily, and I can’t help but think that issue should be taken into account.

By: Priya Lynn

Priya Lynn — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:24:33 +0000

“Exodus has less than 100 ministries with about another 120 chuches that provide ~~a supportive~~ an exploitive environment for ex-gays.”

There, fixed it for you.