Comments on: Sunday Driver: Thoughts on Getting Married

By: Glenn I

Glenn I — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:57:48 +0000

Congratulations. I’ve been wearing my wedding ring since Kent put it on my finger last November (the California Supreme Court says we still get to call ourselves legally married – nifty!) and it gives me a feeling of reassurance and warmth when K & I are apart.

As we’d been together 14 years neither K nor I thought a ceremony would make any difference, really; we just wanted more legal security in case of, you know, bad stuff. But the good stuff has been more significant so far – the support of family & friends, the connection between us explicitly affirmed by them – and by us! It does seem weird, sometimes, but so do a lot of things when you think about them – from religion to cats.

By: kadrian Whisenhunt

kadrian Whisenhunt — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:57:33 +0000

Great piece Gabe! I love you and Mike and am so happy you both were apart of our special day! Can’t wait to be apart of yours!

By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:46:55 +0000

The best to both of you and all the happieness. You both look marvelous together.

Also, I know this is off topic but I wanted to tell Turtle Box Bulletin how much your efforts of reporting about gay issues
around the world is GREATLY appreciated. Those of us with extremely busy
schedules are kept up to date on events that effect all of us.

Thank you so much, keep up the great reporting!

Best regards,

Bob
San Diego CA

By: Timothy Kincaid

Timothy Kincaid — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:19:51 +0000

Gabe,

Beautiful thoughts and words.

By: HuntTheWumpus

HuntTheWumpus — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 06:45:35 +0000

While I offer my congratulations, I must say that I kinda agree with Alex H on his point of bad form….That fact that a relationship started while in the midst of another is one problem that gay community need not gloss over…Again, if Mike is cool with it, more power to the both of you….and I wish you well!!

By: Alex H

Alex H — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 06:33:40 +0000

Congrats, Gabriel. It sounds like both of you have found the right fit with each other.

Although making a date with Mike while you were still with someone else was bad form, I guess when your heart tells you to do something you should follow it (not that it’s an excusable act).

But if Mike is OK with it, then we should all be happy for you.

By: Gabriel Arana

Gabriel Arana — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 05:42:22 +0000

Thanks so much to everyone for all the encouragement, advice, and thoughts. Your messages have been very heart-warming to read. I think some of you should post your own experiences/thoughts as part of the Sunday Driver series!

By: Louie

Louie — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:36:56 +0000

Congrats Gabe and Michael!

My husband and I have been married in our hearts for 13 years and legally married in California 1 year!

I don’t know how or why, but it feels like we just met yesterday!

I look at pictures of us from 13 years ago and I just stare in amazement that we look so young!

Now, I see the gray hairs on his head and he sees the gray hairs in mine.

We smile and just continue loving each other as we both grow old, together.

My biggest fear when I acknowledged to myself that I was gay, was that I would never find someone (one) to spend the rest of my life with, I was wrong. Happily wrong!

I’m not saying that EVERYONE HAS to settle down with one single person, I’m just saying that it was right for me and my husband. It’s what we both wanted.

If being single and unattached floats your boat, then go for it. To each his or her own.

But, for those that do choose the “marriage” route, then we should get the same CIVIL rights as heterosexuals. No more, no less.

And of course as singles, we should all have the same civil rights, regardless of our gender or orientation.

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:31:54 +0000

My partner and I met when we were 21 and 23 respectively. That was almost 16 years ago.

Gay relationships can last, but the challenges are often different than heterosexual relationships.

Two years is a milestone no doubt, but it is still a very new relationship. The real challenges and growth come later, but it can be a beautiful thing!

You guys are young so it gives you the wonderful opportunity to grow together. There is NOTHING better than that!

The marriage and all the symbolism are really unimportant, only the love matters!

By: Rev. Ray Neal

Rev. Ray Neal — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:58:04 +0000

Your honesty in telling about the end of one relationship and the beginning of a new one is very refreshing. Seldom does the new begin without saying good bye to what has been. Went to the Gender Odyssey conference in Seattle Washington this weekend. Comment was made which is probably a quote from someone, but don’t ask me who: We don’t know the difference between transformation and destruction. God wants to transform us and we think we’re being destroyed.

You’ve been through a lot of transformations in your life…which you have shared openly and honestly with us, giving others hope that they too may be transformed.
Rev Ray in Seattle
Metropolitan Community Church Seattle
http://www.mccseattle.org