As I explained earlier, we need to be very careful about how we describe Tiwonge, where western definitions are sometime too restrictive in describing people from other cultures. It is for the same reasons however that I have refrained from identifying Tiwonge in particular as gay, and hence the couple as a “gay” couple. It is unclear whether or how either label applies in Tiwonge’s case.

However Steven’s self-identity is not dependent upon Tiwonge’s. He has previously described himself as gay, and so that’s the identity that I will stick with to describe him alone. He has repeatedly used the word “gay” to discribe his situation and his relationship with Tiwonge, and so “gay” is clearly how he sees himself. He has also used the male pronoun to refer to Tiwonge, and Tiwonge has apparently not objected to it. Although now I suppose his “gay” identity may need to be modified now that he now claims he’s no longer gay.

At any rate, just as we want to be extremely accurate in describing people in the West, we should take equal care in describing people in other cultures whose concepts don’t neatly fit into our own particular breakdowns and dividing lines between sexuality and gender.

Also, in the interest of accuracy, the couple were never married. Despite initial reports based on Western misunderstanding of Malawi culture, they were arrested following a traditional engagement ceremony. Again, we must exercise great care in reporting on events in other cultures if we really want to understand exactly what is happening. Relying upon our own biases and cultural references, as is natural for us to do (after all, it’s all we know) can result in telling a story that has only a marginally passing resemblence to reality. Because accuracy is what we strive for here, these are the practices we will continue to place great care in.