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	<title>Comments on: Welcome Out, Rick Welts</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018</link>
	<description>News, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric</description>
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		<title>By: Ben In Oakland</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94597</link>
		<dc:creator>Ben In Oakland</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 21:48:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94597</guid>
		<description>Politeness, like good spelling, is a virtue.

Name calling is not.

I&#039;m also quite well aware of your points, and believe it or not, I agree with them, though not with your spelling or your name calling.

Mine is simply this. The enemy is and always has been the closet, not people. The closet is where some people get their power to cause other people to cower in the closet. The closet is what enables depression, suicide, blackmail, and every other social ill associated with it. The closet is corrosive to human health and happiness.

I agree with Timothy. Give him some space to do more of what is right. I just hope he does.

I quite firmly believe that barring a threat to one&#039;s physical safety, coming out is always the healthier option. I came out at a time when it was not safe to do so-- centuries ago, as you say. Quite possibly before you were born.

I put my ass on the line, so that you could do what you want with yours. It cost me a couple of jobs, a few attempts to get me fired from jobs, and what little relationship I had with my family, perhaps a few friendships when I was young, a thousand ages gone.

And I don&#039;t regret any of it. I regret the kids who have been beaten up or who committed suicide. I regret the marriages that were failures from thre get-go. I regret the kids and adults that have learned to hate themselves to please the bigots and their equally bigoted small-g god. I regret the careers that have ended. I regret the millions and millions, if not billions, that have been spent attacking people who have harmed no one.

And on and on and on.

I regret all of it. What do you regret?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Politeness, like good spelling, is a virtue.</p>
<p>Name calling is not.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m also quite well aware of your points, and believe it or not, I agree with them, though not with your spelling or your name calling.</p>
<p>Mine is simply this. The enemy is and always has been the closet, not people. The closet is where some people get their power to cause other people to cower in the closet. The closet is what enables depression, suicide, blackmail, and every other social ill associated with it. The closet is corrosive to human health and happiness.</p>
<p>I agree with Timothy. Give him some space to do more of what is right. I just hope he does.</p>
<p>I quite firmly believe that barring a threat to one&#8217;s physical safety, coming out is always the healthier option. I came out at a time when it was not safe to do so&#8211; centuries ago, as you say. Quite possibly before you were born.</p>
<p>I put my ass on the line, so that you could do what you want with yours. It cost me a couple of jobs, a few attempts to get me fired from jobs, and what little relationship I had with my family, perhaps a few friendships when I was young, a thousand ages gone.</p>
<p>And I don&#8217;t regret any of it. I regret the kids who have been beaten up or who committed suicide. I regret the marriages that were failures from thre get-go. I regret the kids and adults that have learned to hate themselves to please the bigots and their equally bigoted small-g god. I regret the careers that have ended. I regret the millions and millions, if not billions, that have been spent attacking people who have harmed no one.</p>
<p>And on and on and on.</p>
<p>I regret all of it. What do you regret?</p>
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		<title>By: Mark</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94580</link>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 18:46:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94580</guid>
		<description>Hey Ben in Oakland (no wonder),

Dont be such an ass.  We all have different circumstances, and different reasons for doing different things.  &quot;what took him so long&quot;, you ask.  &quot;I came out in 1971&quot; - or whenever you did (century&#039;s ago, it appears from your ignorant reply- who cares about YOU?  That was YOUR decision.  It&#039;s nobody elses!  Dont be so ignorant as to assume that because you came out, everyone needs to.  That is such bull, so hypocitical, so shortsightedness.  Give me a break.  Oh, because I did - you have to.  Shut teh FCUK up!  idot from Oakland...jeeze...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Ben in Oakland (no wonder),</p>
<p>Dont be such an ass.  We all have different circumstances, and different reasons for doing different things.  &#8220;what took him so long&#8221;, you ask.  &#8220;I came out in 1971&#8243; &#8211; or whenever you did (century&#8217;s ago, it appears from your ignorant reply- who cares about YOU?  That was YOUR decision.  It&#8217;s nobody elses!  Dont be so ignorant as to assume that because you came out, everyone needs to.  That is such bull, so hypocitical, so shortsightedness.  Give me a break.  Oh, because I did &#8211; you have to.  Shut teh FCUK up!  idot from Oakland&#8230;jeeze&#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: Jennifer</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94530</link>
		<dc:creator>Jennifer</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 22:24:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94530</guid>
		<description>I&#039;m disgusted with the sexist terminology
(&quot;grew a pair, manned up&quot;).  Equating courage with male anatomy or maleness is as offensive as using &quot;gay&quot; as a derogatory term.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m disgusted with the sexist terminology<br />
(&#8220;grew a pair, manned up&#8221;).  Equating courage with male anatomy or maleness is as offensive as using &#8220;gay&#8221; as a derogatory term.</p>
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		<title>By: Timothy Kincaid</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94523</link>
		<dc:creator>Timothy Kincaid</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 20:44:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94523</guid>
		<description>Perhaps it took him so long to come out because he just didn&#039;t have the courage to face a bunch of people screaming &quot;Why didn&#039;t you come out &lt;i&gt;sooner&lt;/i&gt;&quot;

I&#039;m kidding, of course, but really, is that the first thing you want to hear when you take a step towards openness?  Do we really want people like this to unexpectedly find support from the homophobic sports world but find rejection and recrimination from us?

This hardly is encouragement for anyone else out there wondering if just maybe they should follow his lead.

C&#039;mon guys.  I&#039;m sure that Welts will beat himself up enough for not facing his fears.  At this point in his life, our role is to be supportive and help him through this phase.  Once his life has stabilized, we can pressure him to make up for lost time.  Give him space.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Perhaps it took him so long to come out because he just didn&#8217;t have the courage to face a bunch of people screaming &#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you come out <i>sooner</i>&#8221;</p>
<p>I&#8217;m kidding, of course, but really, is that the first thing you want to hear when you take a step towards openness?  Do we really want people like this to unexpectedly find support from the homophobic sports world but find rejection and recrimination from us?</p>
<p>This hardly is encouragement for anyone else out there wondering if just maybe they should follow his lead.</p>
<p>C&#8217;mon guys.  I&#8217;m sure that Welts will beat himself up enough for not facing his fears.  At this point in his life, our role is to be supportive and help him through this phase.  Once his life has stabilized, we can pressure him to make up for lost time.  Give him space.</p>
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		<title>By: Ben In Oakland</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94508</link>
		<dc:creator>Ben In Oakland</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 16:44:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94508</guid>
		<description>Here&#039;s what don lemon had to say on This Very Subject:

&quot;There was a time when I was terrified of revealing these things to the person I love most in this world - my own mother. But when I finally mustered the courage to tell her that I had been molested as a child and that I was born gay, my life began to change in positive ways that I never imagined possible. Yet I still chose to keep those secrets hidden from the world. I, like most gay people, lived a life of fear. Fear that if some employers, co-workers, friends, neighbors and family members learned of my sexuality, I would be shunned, mocked and ostracized. It is a burden that millions of people carry with them every single day. And sadly, while the mockery and ostracizing are realized by millions of people every day, I truly believe it doesn&#039;t have to happen and that&#039;s why I feel compelled to share what I&#039;ve written in Transparent&quot;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here&#8217;s what don lemon had to say on This Very Subject:</p>
<p>&#8220;There was a time when I was terrified of revealing these things to the person I love most in this world &#8211; my own mother. But when I finally mustered the courage to tell her that I had been molested as a child and that I was born gay, my life began to change in positive ways that I never imagined possible. Yet I still chose to keep those secrets hidden from the world. I, like most gay people, lived a life of fear. Fear that if some employers, co-workers, friends, neighbors and family members learned of my sexuality, I would be shunned, mocked and ostracized. It is a burden that millions of people carry with them every single day. And sadly, while the mockery and ostracizing are realized by millions of people every day, I truly believe it doesn&#8217;t have to happen and that&#8217;s why I feel compelled to share what I&#8217;ve written in Transparent&#8221;</p>
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		<title>By: Ben In Oakland</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94504</link>
		<dc:creator>Ben In Oakland</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 16:26:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94504</guid>
		<description>He doesn&#039;t owe me a thing.

He owes it to every kid who thought about committing suicide, every athlete who decided not to compete because she was gay, every queer that lost a job because they weren&#039;t protected by the privileged hypocrisy of the closeted, every boy (and I was one of them) who got beat up because they were perceived to be a little bit different.

It took me about two years after I came out in 1971 to understand that this was about far more than what makes Private Johnson snap to attention.

I don&#039;t care whether he atones or not. That&#039;s his business, though i hope he does. My own sense of justice and morality tells me that it is the only thing to do.

As I said, &quot;“You’re fifty seven goddamned years old. Why did it take you so long to stop lying to the world about who you really are?”</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>He doesn&#8217;t owe me a thing.</p>
<p>He owes it to every kid who thought about committing suicide, every athlete who decided not to compete because she was gay, every queer that lost a job because they weren&#8217;t protected by the privileged hypocrisy of the closeted, every boy (and I was one of them) who got beat up because they were perceived to be a little bit different.</p>
<p>It took me about two years after I came out in 1971 to understand that this was about far more than what makes Private Johnson snap to attention.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t care whether he atones or not. That&#8217;s his business, though i hope he does. My own sense of justice and morality tells me that it is the only thing to do.</p>
<p>As I said, &#8220;“You’re fifty seven goddamned years old. Why did it take you so long to stop lying to the world about who you really are?”</p>
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		<title>By: daftpunkydavid</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94484</link>
		<dc:creator>daftpunkydavid</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 05:42:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94484</guid>
		<description>oh my oh my oh my:

&quot;He deserves praise and thanks for that. But like a lot of other people who enjoyed the benefits of other people’s sacrifices while sacrificing nothing of his own (except his relationships), he has a great deal to atone for.

I hope he does so.&quot;

i mean, really? who are you to say that &quot;he has a great deal to atone for&quot;? get off your high horse, geez. he doesn&#039;t owe you anything.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>oh my oh my oh my:</p>
<p>&#8220;He deserves praise and thanks for that. But like a lot of other people who enjoyed the benefits of other people’s sacrifices while sacrificing nothing of his own (except his relationships), he has a great deal to atone for.</p>
<p>I hope he does so.&#8221;</p>
<p>i mean, really? who are you to say that &#8220;he has a great deal to atone for&#8221;? get off your high horse, geez. he doesn&#8217;t owe you anything.</p>
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		<title>By: Rob in San Diego</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94472</link>
		<dc:creator>Rob in San Diego</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 01:14:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94472</guid>
		<description>Way to go bro, welcome to the club!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Way to go bro, welcome to the club!</p>
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		<title>By: Regan DuCasse</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94469</link>
		<dc:creator>Regan DuCasse</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 00:36:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94469</guid>
		<description>I can certainly defer experience and what the closet does and means to my gay friends and learn from what they have to tell.
  I think what bothers me more, is the hypocrisy surrounding the behavior that&#039;s accepted in men&#039;s sports. The violence and assaults on women. The adultery and drug use, to say nothing of just plain old fashioned crimes and misdemeanors that are allowed to inflate the fat egos in that industry.

  They are more accepting of felonious behavior, than they are of gays and lesbians who don&#039;t and wouldn&#039;t commit such things. Or, if they did, they wouldn&#039;t accept it. Might use it as a vehicle of outing.
     Ridiculous</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I can certainly defer experience and what the closet does and means to my gay friends and learn from what they have to tell.<br />
  I think what bothers me more, is the hypocrisy surrounding the behavior that&#8217;s accepted in men&#8217;s sports. The violence and assaults on women. The adultery and drug use, to say nothing of just plain old fashioned crimes and misdemeanors that are allowed to inflate the fat egos in that industry.</p>
<p>  They are more accepting of felonious behavior, than they are of gays and lesbians who don&#8217;t and wouldn&#8217;t commit such things. Or, if they did, they wouldn&#8217;t accept it. Might use it as a vehicle of outing.<br />
     Ridiculous</p>
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		<title>By: Ben In Oakland</title>
		<link>http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2011/05/15/33018/comment-page-1#comment-94467</link>
		<dc:creator>Ben In Oakland</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 May 2011 23:56:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/?p=33018#comment-94467</guid>
		<description>Kate-- that, too.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Kate&#8211; that, too.</p>
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