While I agree with your sentiments here, I will note that I’m more concerned of how long it may take to get from civil unions (assuming they pass) to actual marriage equality. By accepting civil unions, I fear we may be giving people a great excuse to sit on their laurels and think they’ve done “good enough.” How many years will the topic of actual marriage equality be met with, “We gave you civil unions, why isn’t that good enough?” And remember, we’ve already answered that question, so in a sense, we are admitting that we’re willing to settle for “second best,” even if we only intend it to be a temporary thing.

And let’s face it, think of the number of “temporary solutions” that seem to never get replaced with permanent ones in our society.

That said, if I had seen that we didn’t have a chance (that rip-roaring baitch in the House is supposedly a Democrat?) I wouldn’t have tried it.

Now, however, that we have tried, to step back is to give our enemies an advantage which they must not be given.

No, we have to now pull together – that infamous working together I keep advocating and for which I keep getting criticized, I mean, after all, it’s only what worked for us in The Netherlands, Germany, Canada, etc. so what would I know? – and stand together, despite our better wishes and second thoughts.

Make them give us 3/5 human status. Take names of those who vote against us.

Then work together to end their reign of terror.

These are politicians. That means they are power and money hungry, greedy, immoral people who have, somewhere left slime trails. Find them. Exploit them. It worked in NY – it will work in Rhode Island.

Advance Democratic politicians who support us and get rid of the ones (legally, darlings) like Ms. See-You-Next-Tueday in the house.

We shouldn’t have played this game and we wouldn’t have started it had we worked together. Now that we’re in it, we have to play to win.

If I genuinely believed that turning down civil unions in Rhode Island would result in marriage within a year, I would oppose the bill… but I don’t have confidence in those who promise such legislation. After all, they promised it this year and it ain’t happening.

The thing that drives me stark raving mad is that gay politicians very seldom see themselves as representing our community. They usually were elected through other means and their orientation was “not an issue” in their campaign. Quite often they come out after they are elected.

A Hispanic candidate generally was elected by a Hispanic community to represent their interests. So too is a black or Asian representative.

But we don’t have any politicians elected specifically for us.

So Fox, while he is a gay man and does want marriage equality, does not see our community as his HIGHEST interest. He’s “not a single issue politician” and as such will make compromises to advance other parts of his agenda.

What our community really needs are politicians who will spend all of their political capital on us. Politicians for whom we are not only the highest priority, but the ONLY priority.

When the opposition sees that you’re willing to settle for less that equal they will ALWAYS see just how much less you’re willing to settle for.

Now that anti-gay marriage people see that gays are willing to settle for civil unions they’re regrouping to oppose civil unions.

In the end we should have stuck to our guns and demanded marriage and settled for nothing less.

I used to believe in the incremental approach when it was the only viable option, but it’s a new day and we need to stop settling for what we were willing to settle for 10 years ago. It’s time to raise the bar.