Comments on: Dan Savage: It Gets Worse For Kids Before It Gets Better

By: walterpc

walterpc — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 06:14:46 +0000

As usual, whenever there is injustice or bigotry, it is the most vulnerable members of our society who suffer the worst. LGBTQ youth (actual or perceived) HAVE to be protected. I’ve just learned that here in Texas one of the Religious Reich candidates for the State Board of Education (Right-wingers dominate the Texas SBOE) has unveiled a “10-step program” to stop “homosexual recruitment in our schools” (read: anti-bullying campaigns). This will be a long, hard fight, and I’m afraid there will be more casualties ahead.

By: BobN

BobN — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:54:39 +0000

I find the suggestion that increased gay visibility has changed the nature of bullying to be quite odd, no, more queer than odd. Ahem.

I was getting called “queer” and “faggot” before Stonewall and so was musical Mark and awkward Jim and puny Mike (all kids in my grade school class — I was the nerd). Now, it’s entirely possible, indeed likely, that our various tormentors didn’t imagine us actually sucking cock (we were, after all, 11 years old), but it requires a very odd perspective to believe that they didn’t think they we were destined to do so later in life.

By: Russ Manley

Russ Manley — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 00:38:12 +0000

Sorry, Zeke, I had also responded to Stephen – see above – and momentarily repeated his name in my post to you.

Despite the occasional typo, I can read quite well, thank you. You said when a 10 year old hears things will get better when he’s 20 that’s a lifetime away.

Granted; so what is your solution, your “resolution to the problem”? If you have one, why don’t you get to work on it, eh? If it’s reasonably sensible, I might even join you.

But don’t be like so many gay men I have known who are sooooo fond of criticizing somebody else’s work without lifting one finger themselves to do anything, whether to decorate for a party or fight for equality.

And that’s all I have to say on this well-labored point now.

By: TampaZeke

TampaZeke — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:33:40 +0000

Russ, you responded to “Stephen” but your comment was clearly directed at me.

By: TampaZeke

TampaZeke — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:30:14 +0000

Russ, I don’t know who Stephen is but I’ll assume you were addressing me. I stated what I was trying to say in my first comment. I’m sorry if you are incapable reading it or comprehending it. I said that I believe the IGB campaign is brilliant for a “stop gap” emergency action but it shouldn’t be seen as the end game solution to the problem. As is often the case, people do the feel good thing to quickly aleve themselves of their grief or guilt (see Haiti) but such action is often, in the long run, counterproductive because it allows people to do the quick, feel good fix, at the expense of the long term resolution that people, feeling good, don’t pursue (see Haiti). I’m not saying that this was the intention of IGB. It wasn’t. The intention was good and much good has come of it, but it’s just a step, not the resolution.

If you don’t understand this re-explanation then I can’t help you understand me any better; not that I believe you are really concerned with understanding what I said.

By: Priya Lynn

Priya Lynn — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 15:46:19 +0000

Well Donny, at least its not hurting. Better to make an effort without verification of success than to say “I won’t make an effort because there’s no verification of success.”.

By: Donny D.

Donny D. — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 14:59:33 +0000

Has it ever been determined that the It Gets Better project helps beleaguered TBLG primary or secondary school students to cope? I’m not ready to assume that it does without evidence.

By: Russ Manley

Russ Manley — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 14:15:35 +0000

Yes Stephen, we perceive time differently at different ages of life, and I know because I am past 50. But no, I have not fogotten what I thought and felt as a teen. Even then I was looking forward – like most kids do – to college, a car, a job, etc., etc. – and counting the days/weeks/months/years. Hope was indeed possible and hope kept me going through some very difficult times – some of it to do with my sexuality and some not.

But what is your point, buddy? What exactly is your point? We should not ever tell a young person that things will get better at a future date? That teenagers are incapable of comprehending future time? Incapable of hope? That’s absurd. What are you really saying here?

By: TampaZeke

TampaZeke — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 01:26:49 +0000

@Russ, I don’t know how old you are but I think you, like many people, forget how you actually felt about “a few years” when you were 10 – 15 years old, especially when you were 10 – 12 years old (the age that many of these kids are killing themselves).

Think about it, when a 10 to 12 year old hears that things will “get better” when they turn 20 they are hearing that things will get better LITERALLY a lifetime from their current age. Ten years to a ten year old, and even a twelve year old, is the entire length of their life before they can hope for relief. That is a decree of hopelessness to these young people.

If I look at ten years from my current age (over 40 and I’ll say NO more!) it doesn’t seem like a big deal, ten years flies by in the blink of an eye, but I can’t apply my current perception to a kid’s, or teen’s, perception.

By: justme

justme — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:28:45 +0000

There is absolutely a project for making it beter now, it’s called the Make It Better Project.

I’ve followed them on Facebook, though I haven’t kept up with Facebook at all for a while and their website seems to be down right now, but hopefully not permanently. Here’s their YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MakeItBetterProject

Why haven’t you heard about this? Good question. No celebrity famewhore is attached to it as a spokesperson, for one thing, so it’s not as sexy as It Gets Better. Plus it involves actually doing something to help someone now instead of making a video telling someone to hope for something better later, so it’s too much work, maybe?

At any rate, I hope it’s actually still around, because this idea was actually brilliant and actually helpful.