Box Turtle Bulletin

Gingrich Calls Marriage Equality An “Aberration That Will Dissipate”

His wedding band doubles as a mood ring.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich told an Iowa audience today:

“I believe that marriage is between a man and woman,” Gingrich said. “It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.”

Hey, you can laugh all you want, but Gingrich knows of what he speaks. He’s already had two marriages dissipate out from under him and is working on his third.

Frank Turek, Anti-gay Martyr

My boss’s boss has scheduled a Habitat-for-Humanity team-building event for our department next Thursday.  The cause is worthy, but my initial reaction was decidedly less so:

A 90-minute drive and I’ve got to be there by 8am? [whine] To do manual labor? [whine] And as the group’s resident tall man who works out, guess who they’ll ask to dig the ditches and lug the heavy stuff? [whine].

Part of that’s just because I dread any disruption of my routine (sad, but true). Fortunately, if experience tells me anything, the day will be satisfying and fun, and I’ll be glad we did it.

Assuming my company doesn’t hire Frank Turek to run the team-building activities.

Frank Turek is the latest anti-gay martyr, an independent contractor who runs leadership and team-building exercises for big corporations.  Both Cisco and Bank of America cancelled contracts with him after their employees discovered he’s an anti-gay activist and author of a book opposing marriage equality.  NOM, of course, is all over this.  He’s the first poster boy for their new project against gay-sponsored oppression: Fired just for believing in traditional marriage!

As usual, the truth is more complicated. I don’t have Turek’s book, but he’s done us the courtesy of summarizing his thoughts online.  The lowlights:

• Turek declares homosexuality is morally wrong and objectively harmful.

• He uses thoroughly discredited research by Paul Cameron to spread lies about gay men (Paul Cameron has been booted from many professional organizations after scientists complained he distorted their research to promote anti-gay slander).

• Turek claims gay parents regards their adopted children as trophies.

• He repeatedly lumps homosexuality with murder, rape, and incest.

• He tells us a gay man can be romantically attracted and committed to his partner, but cannot truly “love” him.  He actually begins his reply to “But Same-sex marriage is About Love”  by saying “Even if that were true…”

That last one is especially dehumanizing.

But there’s more. Read the rest of this entry »

Montana “Pastor” Blames Gays For His Legal Woes

Bilk unto others and blame the gays.

Last February when Hamilton, Montana “pastor” Harris Himes (I’ll get to the scare quotes in a minute) spoke before a Montana House committee in favor of a statewide ban on all protections for gay people, he said the ban was justified because the Bible condemns gay people to death. Since then, the president of Montana’s chapter of  Phylis Schlafly’s Eagle Forum has been charged with six felonies, in an alledged scheme to convince an investor to put in $150,000 to fund a phony company:

According to court records, Himes and (James “Jeb”) Bryant claimed to own a business, Duratherm Building Systems, and promised at least one investor a large return on his $150,000. But the investor claimed to have never received any returns or confirmation of sale, nor could he get his money back.

Duratherm Building Systems was connected to another company, Monarch Beach Properties, which Himes and Bryant claimed was a “type of parent corporation.” The state investigation revealed several inconsistencies with respect to these companies. For one, Monarch is solely owned by Bryant and his wife, and the business address linked to the money-wiring instructions given to the alleged victim is for an apartment complex in Rockville, Md. The state of Maryland has no listing for Monarch.

Duratherm Building Systems reportedly operates in Mexico, where Bryant spends most of his time.

And speaking of schemes, further investigation that Himes’s “church,” Big Sky Christian Center, is located inside a post office box in Hamilton.

Himes claims to have been ordained as a pastor by Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel, where he served for a few years, said Pastor Kevin Horton. But Himes split from the chapel, Horton said, and proclaimed himself pastor of the Big Sky Christian Center, which lists its address as Himes’ post office box.

“For the first five years, we didn’t think much of him,” Horton said. “But to call him a pastor isn’t accurate because he doesn’t have a church. There are accountability structures built into a church. He’s a self-proclaimed pastor, and at our last ministerial meeting, we discussed what we could do with Himes.”

Himes now says that’s not the only scheme in town. The pastor with the tiny, tiny church-in-a-box nows says that gays and abortionists are behind his legal troubles.

The Daily Agenda for Friday, September 30

TODAY’S AGENDA:
AIDS Walks This Weekend: Amherst, NS; Chicago, IL; Tulsa, OK and Wilmington, DE.

Pride Celebrations This Weekend: Ashland, OR; Ashville, NC; Belgrade, Serbia; Cumbria, UK; Dallas, TX (Black Pride); Ft. Worth, TX; Jacksonville, FL; Johannesburg, SA and Moab, UT.

Also This Weekend: Gay Days at Disneyland, Anaheim, CA; Out On Film, Atlanta, GA and Rainbow Festival, Phoenix, AZ.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAY:
Truman Capote: 1924. He taught himself to read and write before he entered his first year at school. When he was about ten years old, he submitted his first short story, “Old Mrs. Busybody,” to the Mobile Press Register for a children’s writing contest. Capote later remembered, “I began writing really sort of seriously when I was about 11. I say seriously in the sense that like other kids go home and practice the violin or the piano or whatever, I used to go home from school every day, and I would write for about three hours. I was obsessed by it.” He remained the lifelong friend of author Harper Lee, who was a neighbor in Monroeville, Alabama. “Her father was a lawyer,” he remembered, “and she and I used to go to trials all the time as children. We went to the trials instead of going to the movies.” Those trials not only influenced Lee’s book, To Kill a Mockingbird, but also helped lead to Capote’s greatest literary triumph, In Cold Blood.

Contemplating some outrage against conventional morality, no doubt.

His first novel however, was autobiographical; 1948’s Other Voices, Other Rooms told the story of a thirteen-year-old boy living in rural Alabama who was dealing with his emerging homosexuality. He described it as “an attempt to exorcise demons, an unconscious, altogether intuitive attempt, for I was not aware, except for a few incidents and descriptions, of its being in any serious degree autobiographical. Rereading it now, I find such self-deception unpardonable.” Other Voices, Other Rooms remained on The New York Times bestseller list for nine weeks. Everything about the novel was scandalous, including the Harold Halma photo of him on back of the dust jacket, which was considered rather homoerotic for 1948. The Los Angeles Times complained that he looked “as if he were dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality.” Which he probably was. He relished the controversy.

He remained busy for the next decade, adapting novels for Broadway and churning out articles for The New Yorker. Then he struck gold again in 1958 with his collection, Breakfast at Tiffany’s: A Short Novel and Three Stories. The title tale introduced the character of Holly Golightly, who became one of Truman’s most beloved characters. But the real turning point came with his 1966 “nonfiction novel,” In Cold Blood. It took him four years to write the book about the murder of a wealthy farmer, his wife and two children in Holcomb, Kansas. The acclaimed book brought a new style of storytelling to true events, and it launched Capote to full-on celebrity status. That same year, he threw the Black and White Ball in New York, which has gone down as one of the most legendary parties of the twentieth century. While he was famous for being a literary genius, he was also, increasingly, famous for being famous and for being among the famous. He was a regular fixture at Studio 54 and on the talk show circuit.

He loved the limelight, although it did take its toll. In the 1970s, he sank into drug and alcohol abuse, which got in the way of working on his epic novel, Answered Prayers. He bragged about it often, but years went by without any sign of the work. He finally adapted portions of it for a series of short stories in Esquire. The second of those stories, “La Côte Basque 1965,” would make him personal non grata among the Jet Set, with its salacious details of the personal lives of William S. Paley and Babe Paley, who had been among his close society friends. It was seen as a betrayal of confidences among Capote’s friends, and two more short stories resulted in Capote’s being cut off from the high society he craved. He died in 1984 of liver cancer at the home of Joane Carson, the ex-wife of TV host Johnny Carson. His royalties continued to support his boyfriend Jack Dunphy until his death, and then went toward establishing a literary prize in honor of Newton Arvin, a former boyfriend, author and professor whose life was ruined when he was fired from Smith College for being gay.

If you know of something that belongs on the agenda, please send it here. Don’t forget to include the basics: who, what, when, where, and URL (if available).

And feel free to consider this your open thread for the day. What’s happening in your world?

Ugandan LGBT Advocate Awarded Rafto Prize

The Rafto Foundation, a Norwegian human rights and democracy advocacy organization, announced today that they are awarding the 2011 Rafto Prize to Sexual Minorities Uganda and the group’s Executive Director, Frank Mugisha. According to the Rafto Foundation’s press release, “The Prize is awarded to SMUG for its work to make fundamental human rights apply to everyone, and to eliminate discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.” The Foundation explains the reason for the recognition:

The human rights situation in Uganda in general, and the plight of sexual minorities in particular, is getting worse. They are blamed for social problems and are “the good enemy” that politicians can attack in order to garner support. In this situation, SMUG’s work is especially important. The battle they wage is for human rights’ most basic purpose: to protect individuals from abuses by the authorities and the majority. The Rafto Foundation hereby gives its support to the work against what former SMUG leader Victor Juliet Mukasa, characterized as a “state-sponsored homophobia that is spreading across the African continent”.

SMUG is a coalition of organisations that work for the human rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people (LGBTI people, or sexual minorities, which is the term used by SMUG). Since its inception in 2004, SMUG has become a powerful voice for a stigmatised and persecuted minority. The coalition has played an important role in opposing the proposed “Anti-Homosexuality Bill” and has successfully used the legal system to fight harassment and violence from government and private actors. SMUG also does important work supporting individuals who suffer from abuse.

Frank Mugisha and his colleagues in SMUG have demonstrated great courage in fronting the fight for LGBTI people’s rights.

The 2011 Rafto Prize will be awarded in Bergen, Norway on November 6. Earlier this month, it was announced that Mugisha has been chosen to receive the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Award from the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights.

Here It Is: Nigeria’s Proposal To Criminalize Same-Sex Marriage:

Nigeria's SB 05, a bill which would criminalize same-sex marriage. (Click to download PDF: 48KB/2 pages)

A BTB reader found a copy of Nigeria’s latest proposal to not just ban same-sex marriage (it’s already illegal in Nigeria), but to impose criminal penalties on anyone who enters into a same-sex marriage — as well as for anyone who “witnesses, abets and aids the solemnization of a same gender marriage contract.” The penalty for entering into a same-sex marriage under the proposed measure would be three years’ imprisonment. The penalty for witnessing/aiding/abeting a marriage would bring five years imprisonment or a fine of ₦2,000 (2,000 naria, or US$13 in a country where the average annual income is US$1,200). If a group of persons witness/aid/abet a marriage, the fine is ₦50,000. It’s unclear whether two people at a wedding would be considered two individuals or a group. The bill also does not define what constitutes witnessing, abetting or aiding in the solemnization of a marriage.

This bill is a considerably scaled down from an earlier bill that was being considered as late as 2009. The earlier proposal, which was actually introduced in 2006, included the same penalties that this bill provides for entering into a marriage or for witnessing/aiding/abeting a marriage. But the 2006 bill went much further by prohibiting the formation of any gay clubs, societies or advocacy groups, and anyone working in organizations which advocate for gay rights would have been subject to five years imprisonment. The same penalty also applied for anyone who was involved with the “publicity and public show of same sex amorous relationship directly or indirectly in public and in private.” Following international condemnation from international human rights advocates, Nigeria’s National Assembly quietly allowed the bill to lapse upon the change of government earlier this year.

Homosexuality is already criminalized in Nigeria, with a penalty of fourteen years’ imprisonment upon conviction. In areas where Sharia Law are in effect, the penalty is death.

The newest bill was posted at the official web site of the Nigerian Senate and is available here (PDF: 48KB/2 pages) It is dated July 25, 2011, nearly two weeks after the bill reportedly received its first reading in the Senate.  The original 2006 proposal is available here (PDF: 144KB/3 pages).

Here is the full text of the 2011 bill:

[SB 05]

A BILL

FOR

An Act To Prohibit Marriage Between Persons Of Same Gender, Solemnization Of Same And For Other Matters Related Therewith

Sponsors:

Senator Domingo Obende
Senator Ehigie Edobor Uzamere
Senator Adegbenga Seflu Kaka
Senator Borrofice Robert A.
Senator Pius Ewherido
Senator Yusuf Musa Nagogo
Senator Mohammed Magoro
Senator Emmanuel Paulker
Senator George Sekibo
Senator Eyinnaya Abarbe
Senator Nenadi E. Usman
Senator Helen Esuene
Senator Babafemi Oiudu
Senator Owremi Tinubu
Senator Owgbenga Ashafa
Senator Obadara Owgbenga
Senator Joshua Dariye
Senator Saleh Mohammed Sani
Senator Hope Uzodinma
Senator Ayogu Eze
Senator Smart Adeyemi
Senator Ahmad Lawan
Senator Igwe Paulinus Nwagu
Senator Mohammed D. Goje
Senator Barnabas Gemade
Senator Boluwaji Kunlere

BE IT ENACTED by the National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as follows:

1.–(1) Marriage Contract entered between persons of same Gender is hereby prohibited in Nigeria.

(2) Marriages Contract entered between persons of same gender are invalid and shall not be recognized as entitled to the benefits of a valid marriage.

(3) Marriage Contract entered between persons of same gender by virtue a certificate issued by a foreign country shall be void in Nigeria, and any benefits accruing there from by virtue of the certificate shall not be enforced by any court of law in Nigeria.

2.–(1) Marriage entered between persons of same Gender shall not be solemnized in any place of worship either Church or Mosque in Nigeria.

(2) No marriage certificate issued to parties of same sex marriage in Nigeria.

3. Only marriage contracted between a man and a woman either under Islamic Law, Customary Law and Marriage Act is recognized as valid in Nigeria.

4.–(1) Persons that entered into a same gender marriage contract commit an offence and are jointly liable on conviction to a term of 3 years imprisonment each.

(2) Any persons or group of persons that witnesses, abet and aids the solemnization of a same gender marriage contract commits an offence and liable on conviction to —

(a) if an individual to a term of 5 years imprisonment or a group of persons to a fine of ₦2,000 or both,

(b) if a group of persons to a fine of ₦50,000 only.

5. The High Court of a State shall have jurisdiction to entertain matter arising from the breach of the provisions of this Bill.

6. In this Bill, unless the context otherwise requires–

“Marriage” here relates to a legal union entered between persons of opposite sex in accordance with the Marriage Act, Islamic and Customary Laws.

“High Court” to include High Court of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.

“Same Gender Marriage” means the coming together of persons of the same sex with the purpose of leaving together as husband and wife or for other purposes of same sexual relationship.

7. This Bill may be cited as Same Gender Marriage (Prohibition) Bill, 2011.

Explanatory Note:

This Bill seeks to prohibit marriage between persons of same gender, and witnessing same, and provided appropriate solemnization of the marriage penalties thereof.

The Daily Agenda for Thursday, September 29

TODAY’S AGENDA:
AIDS Walks This Weekend: Amherst, NS; Chicago, IL; Tulsa, OK and Wilmington, DE.

Pride Celebrations This Weekend: Ashland, OR; Ashville, NC; Cumbria, UK; Ft. Worth, TX; Johannesburg, SA and Moab, UT.

Also This Weekend: Gay Days at Disneyland, Anaheim, CA; and Out On Film, Atlanta, GA.

If you know of something that belongs on the agenda, please send it here. Don’t forget to include the basics: who, what, when, where, and URL (if available).

And feel free to consider this your open thread for the day. What’s happening in your world?

Ex-Gay Project Fails

The National Organization “for” Marriage is trumpeting a new survey about changing your sexual orientation, based on “religiously-mediated” involvement in Christian conversion ministries:

Many professional voices proclaim that it is impossible to change homosexual orientation, and that the attempt to change is commonly and inherently harmful…

The results show change to be possible for some, and the attempt not harmful on average.

I don’t have access to the full survey, but the researchers have summarized the results.  Here’s how it turned out after 6 to 7 years of tracking participants:

That’s a meager 14% success rate.

Or is it? Let’s learn more about those 14 people.

First, it’s probably not 14.  The study cautions us that the 14 conversions and 18 celibates represent “likely overly optimistic projections of anticipated success.”

In other words — less than 14 actual conversions.

But wait.  Check out what “conversion” means:

Most of the individuals who reported that they were heterosexual at Time 3 did not report themselves to be without experience of homosexual arousal, and did not report heterosexual orientation to be unequivocal and uncomplicated.

You know what they call straight people who experience homosexual arousal, and whose orientation is at most equivocal?  Bisexual. Most of the 14 heterosexual “conversions” seem to be bisexuals.

This leaves us with at most — at most — 6 individuals who went from gay to straight (as of now, at least; who knows where they’ll be in another 7 years).

6.

And the authors aren’t willing to go even that far.  Their single-sentence summary:

In short, the results do not prove that categorical change in sexual orientation is possible for everyone or anyone, but rather that meaningful shifts along a continuum that constitute real changes appear possible for some.

Wow.  Out of 98 highly-motivated subjects, the authors found that a small, unspecified number can use prayer and counseling to shut down their sexual feelings or become a bit more bi.  And possibly none who turned straight.

Frankly, I’m surprised they couldn’t find more.  The authors claim their results:

…challenge the commonly expressed views of the mental health establishment that change of sexual orientation is impossible or very uncommon…

Actually, it looks more like the results confirm those views.  If the antigay camp sees this as vindication and victory, they must be even more desperate than I thought.

UPDATE: I’m abashed to say that Timothy Kincaid has already covered this here at Box Turtle Bulletin, and in far more depth. You can check out his series of articles here.

NC Marriage Ban Sponsor Can’t Explain His Own Position

I was out running errands during lunch when I turned on Michelangelo Signorile’s program yesterday on Sirius/XM OutQ, when he interviewed North Carolina state Sen. James Forrester (R), sponsor of the proposed constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage which will appear on the ballot in 2012. Forrester, who is also a doctor, has put forward the repeatedly debunked Cameronesque claim that gay people die 20 years earlier than other people. Forrester falsely claimed that the statistic came from the CDC, which Signorile quickly called him out on. The entire interview is a hot mess, especially where Forrester cannot come up with a good reason why same-sex marriage is such a danger to straight marriages that it requires a constitutional amendment, but divorce does not.

Nebraska Drag Queen vs. Itinerant Campus Preacher

Get some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Nigeria Make Another Stab At Additional Prison Penalties for Same-Sex Marriage

The West African country whose over-reaching attempt in 2009 to impose severe penalties on human rights advocacy and free association for its LGBT citizens under the guise of “banning” same sex marriage was met with international alarm from human rights activists, is at it again. The Nigerian Senate debated a bill yesterday which would make entering into a same-sex marriage a criminal offense, with three years’ imprisonment for couples convicted of being married, and five years’ imprisonment for anyone who “witnesses, abets and aides” the solemnization of the marriage. Homosexuality is already a criminal offense in Nigeria, where it carries a penalty of fourteen years imprisonment in the south and capital punishment in areas in the north which are under Sharia Islamic Law. Nigeria’s The Daily Times reports that the bill passed it first reading on July 13, and that no Senators rose to oppose the bill during Tuesday’s debate.

It is unknown at this time what the exact provisions under the new law would be. The proposed 2009 law which ostensibly banned same-sex marriage went much further than simply addressing same sex marriage. The 2009 proposal, like its current incarnation, provided for a prison sentence of three years for anyone who has “entered into a same gender marriage contract,” and it also would have defined same-sex marriage as any gay couples found living together. Also like the new proposal, it also provided for five years’ imprisonment or a fine for anyone who “witnesses, abet and aids the solemnization” of a same-sex marriage. But the 2009 law also went much further, by making criminals of anyone working in organizations which advocate for gay rights. LGBT advocates point pointed out that the proposed bill law would punish those who “aids and abets” people to live together with a tougher sentence than the couple concerned.

It is unknown at this time what, if any, additional provisions are included in the current proposal. Spokesperson for the Nigerian Senate expect the bill to pass by the end of next year. The United States State Department have joined international human rights groups in strongly condemning the bill, pointing out that it would the freedoms of expression, association and assembly guaranteed by international law as well as by the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights. The law would also impose an impediment to the struggle against the spread of AIDS in the oil-producing west African nation.

The Daily Agenda for Wednesday, September 28

TODAY’S AGENDA (OURS):
AIDS Walks This Weekend: Amherst, NS; Chicago, IL; Tulsa, OK and Wilmington, DE.

Pride Celebrations This Weekend: Ashland, OR; Ashville, NC; Cumbria, UK; Ft. Worth, TX; Johannesburg, SA and Moab, UT.

Also This Weekend: Gay Days at Disneyland, Anaheim, CA; and Out On Film, Atlanta, GA.

TODAY’S AGENDA (THEIRS):
American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference: Nashville, TN. The AACC 2011 World Conference promises “a landmark event that honors Christ and represents the best in counseling and spiritual care for living in today’s world.” Most of the conference touches on rather ordinary topics of interest to religious-based counselors and pastors — grief and crisis counseling, abuse and violence, relationships and marital therapy, things of that nature. One track in particular, of course, deals with “sex and healthy sexuality,” with Mark Yarhouse a featured facilitator. Yarhouse, with Stanton Jones, have conducted a long-range study on the effectiveness of ex-gay therapy, and recent findings have not been very encouraging for ex-gay practitioners. People can change their behavior, but almost nobody changes their attractions. Which puts Yarhouse and others in a quandary, caught between honesty and advocacy. Also slated to speak is Liberty Counsel’s Mat Staver, whose outfit has been implicated in the abduction of Isabella Miller-Jenkins and whose law school at Liberty University teaches students to urge their future clients to violate the law whenever it suits their religious agenda. Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee will give a plenary address. The conference begins today and continues through Saturday.

TODAY IN HISTORY:
US Civil Service Refuses To Meet With Washington Mattachine Society: 1962. Frank Kameny and Jack Nicholes founded the Washington, D.C. chapter of the Mattachine Society in 1961, soon after Kameny’s appeal of his 1957 firing by the U.S. Army’s Map Service was rejected by the U.S. Supreme Court. The federal government’s ban on employment of gays and lesbians was firmly in place, but Kameny didn’t let a small thing like the Supreme Court stop him from demanding the lifting of the ban. In 1962, the Mattachine Society requested a meeting with the U.S. Civil Service Commission to discuss the federal employment ban, but in a letter dated September 28, 1962, they were turned down cold:

UNITED STATES· CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION

Washington 25, D.C.

Sep 28 1962

Mr. Bruce Schuyler, Secretary
The Mattachine Society of Washington
P. O. Box 1032
Washington 1, D.C.

Dear Mr. Schuyler:

Your letter of August 28, 1962 and attachments relating to the purposes of the Mattachine Society of Washington have been read with interest. It is the established policy of the civil Service commission that homosexuals are not suitable for appointment to or retention in positions in the Federal service. There would be no useful purpose served in meeting with representatives of your Society.

Sincerely yours,

(signed)

John W. Macy, Jr.
Chairman

Lifting the ban would remain one of the highest priorities of the Mattachine Society for the next thirteen years. Campaigning for the ban’s elimination would lead to the first ever gay rights pickets in front of the White House, the Pentagon and the Civil Service Commission in 1965, and would finally end with the ban’s lifting in 1975. In 2009, Frank Kameny received a formal apology from the openly gay director of the Office of Personnel Management, the modern-day successor to the Civil Service Commission.

If you know of something that belongs on the agenda, please send it here. Don’t forget to include the basics: who, what, when, where, and URL (if available).

And feel free to consider this your open thread for the day. What’s happening in your world?

Jamey’s Bullies Celebrate His Death

The parents of Jamey Rodemeyer, the Buffalo-area teen who killed himself following constant bullying, told NBC’s Today that the bullying is still going on even after his death. This time, they’re being directed toward Jamey’s sister:

The parents of 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, who was found dead at their home on Sept. 18, indicated in an exclusive interview with TODAY’s Ann Curry on Tuesday that their daughter endured further taunts at a school function immediately after Jamey’s wake. At a homecoming dance she attended shortly after her brother’s death, a potentially poignant moment turned ugly after a song by Lady Gaga, Jamey’s favorite artist, who recently dedicated a song at a concert in his memory.

“She was having a great time, and all of a sudden a Lady Gaga song came on, and they all started chanting for Jamey, all of his friends,” Jamey’s mother, Tracy, told Curry. “Then the bullies that put him into this situation started chanting, ‘You’re better off dead!’ and ‘We’re glad you’re dead!’ and things like that.

“My daughter came home all upset. It was supposed to be a time for her to grieve and have fun with her friends, and it turned into bullying even after he’s gone.”

“I can’t grasp it in my mind,” said Tim Rodemeyer, Jamey’s father. ” I don’t know why anyone would do that. They have no heart, that’s basically what it comes down to.”

Jamey’s parents said that he often spoke openly about the bullying at Heim Middle School, but he became more withdrawn at the start of his freshman year in high school.  His parents discovered an online post after his death, reading, “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so that people will listen to me?”

Amherst police are investigating whether Jeremy was a victim of harassment or hate crimes before his suicide.

Beware The Heroes We Create

First, let me stipulate one thing: Lady Gaga’s advocacy on all manner of LGBT-related topics are powerful and heartfelt. While some might see her advocacy as just another means of self-promotion, I just don’t see it that way. And I don’t even see her advocacy as being “loyal to her fan base,” a poor excuse for advocacy if I ever heard one. It’s another way of saying an entertainer simply knows where his or her bread is buttered. I think Lady Gaga would be a strong advocate regardless of what her “fan base” may be. Her career is built upon many things, including image and self-promotion, but her advocacy seems, to me at least, to be genuine and passionate.

And yet, as I watch this video of her performing “Hair” and dedicating it to Jamey Rodemeyer at the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas, I can’t help but thinking that, in some small way, Jamey achieved in death something he never had in life: a song dedicated to him from the star performer who he described as a huge inspiration to him. If he were alive — and I’m assuming he was like most star-struck teens who worshiped their musical idols — his thrill at her mentioning his name before thousands of adoring fans would have been unmeasurable. But he’s not alive. He killed himself last week after enduring yet more bullying, even after he himself had made his own “It Gets Better” video last spring.

I don’t think there is a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person alive who hasn’t experienced bullying, peer rejection and torment. For some of us, that experience has been indescribably brutal. But the fact that we are alive is proof that suicide is not a natural response to bullying. If it were, we’d all have killed ourselves. For some, however, there is at least one other ingredient in the mix somehow which leads then to kill themselves while others press on. Those ingredients vary from individual to individual, but suicide research shows that one common denominator is often depression, which can express itself in many ways. It brings an extra vulnerability for teens to carry, a vulnerability which makes it extraordinarily difficult to predict the specific incident which could trigger the next suicide.

As I watch this video, I can’t help but recall moments of darkness and despair in my own life when I imagined the huge wave of grief that would be unleashed by my own funeral. I dreamed of my tormenters’ lives forever ruined by their guilt for having pushed me over the edge. Everyone else would know who they were, and they would shun them the way I was shunned. Who’s sorry now, huh?

Who among us haven’t imagined something like this for themselves? The wailing and rending of clothing as people finally realized that their cruelty and neglect would haunt them for the rest of their days, the outpouring of love in death that we felt was withheld from us in life, and, in the scene’s dénouement, a song in our honor because even the greatest pop hero (in my version, it was either Bobby Sherman or, later, Cher ) would know our names.

I needn’t point out the obvious that I never did try to make my fantasy a reality. My self-esteem was so low that I feared that I was too incompetent to actually kill myself and I’d end up a life-long vegetable. I guess you could say my depression was so deep it actually saved me. But we do know the phenomenon of copy-cat suicides, where the aftermath of one person’s death may begin to look pretty good to others who are watching. Which is what makes watching this video for me so horrifying. Jamey talked about his love of Lady Gaga in his “It Gets Better” video. But to most of us watching that video, we would naturally come to the conclusion that it didn’t get better. And, for most of us, it will be obvious that with Jamey gone, it will truly never get better for him on this earth because he’s not here on it.

But is it so obvious to other Lady Gaga fans? To other teenage, bullied, depressed, and hopeless Lady Gaga fans? A Lady Gaga fan who would kill for that kind of a shout-out, even if it is a posthumous one? The LGBT Movement Advancement Project, a joint effort of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, GLSEN, GLAAD and others, have a very informative 12-point guide for talking about suicide (PDF: 642KB/4 pages). Points 7 and 8 are particularly relevant here:

7. DON’T normalize suicide by presenting it as the logical consequence of the kinds of bullying, rejection, discrimination and exclusion that LGBT people often experience. Presenting suicide as the inexplicable act of an otherwise healthy LGBT person—or drawing a direct, causal link between suicide and the bullying or discrimination that LGBT people often face—can encourage at-risk individuals to identify with the victim (or the victim’s life circumstances) and increase risk of suicidal behavior.

8. DON’T idealize suicide victims or create an aura of celebrity around them. Research shows that idealizing people who have died by suicide may encourage others to identify with the victim or seek to emulate them.

As I look through the list, I see several important points which show that there have been times when BTB did not do such a good job in talking about teen suicide in the past. I do know that we have broken some of the recommendations in this list. Our mistakes were honest ones, but we can ill-afford to keep making them. This isn’t to say that we cannot talk about suicide or report future cases in which teens take their own lives. Not talking about suicide won’t make it go away, and not talking about bullying won’t make things better for gay teens. But there are things we all can do to better respond to our collective grief and anguish when the spark of yet another young life flames out in self-destruction, particularly when we can easily identify with the pain that led to those final moments.

We don’t know what final spark led Jamey Rodemeyer to kill himself. And chances are we won’t know the actual trigger for the next person who reaches that moment of despair where the only option they believe they have is to follow in Jamey’s footsteps. But we do know that we can chose to honor Jame’s life in a way which can be helpful to other teens who might be at a similar point of hopelessness in their lives. If Jamey’s death is to mean anything, it must be found in the commitment to ensure that people like him can find the help that they need when and where they need it, and to surround them with supportive adults to help them — whether those adults are inside their families or outside; in the schools or off school property. Let Jamey’s death be not an occasion for another poignant music video, but a call to action to make sure every teen knows that there is someone they can turn to. And to make sure that when they need to turn to someone, there really is someone there to help.

For more information on general suicide prevention, research and help-seeking resources, see the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). If you or someone you know needs help, see The Trevor Project’s web site or call the Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

The Daily Agenda for Tuesday, September 27

TODAY’S AGENDA:
National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: Everywhere. Are you aware? Take control, be responsible, and get yourself tested.

“Gay In America” Released Today: Bookstores Everywhere. Photographer Scott Pasfield explained his project: “People always tell you to shoot what you love. You have to start with yourself. The epiphany came one night at home. I was surfing the web and realized what a powerful tool it had become for connecting gay men across the country, from all over, and it just dawned on me. I decided that I would meet men from every state, and photograph them in the hopes that I could do a book that would change opinions and educate. And that started with shooting who I was and what my passions were.” Pasfield’s book, Gay in America, which comes out today, provides a photographic survey of gay men in America, laying to rest stereotypes and providing an honest picture of contemporary gay life through intimate portraits and narratives. Photographer Scott Pasfield traveled 54,000 miles across all fifty states over a two-year span gathering stories and documenting the lives of 140 gay men from all walks of life.

TODAY IN HISTORY:
Six men pilloried in London for Homosexuality: 1810. In early 19th century Britain, the penalty for homosexuality was death. If a judge felt lenient, he might instead sentence the accused to stand time at the pillory. The September 27, 1810 entry in the Annual Register describes the pillorying of six members of what we might describe today as a gay hangout known as the Vere Street Club. That description goes like this:

Such was the degree of popular indignation excited against these wretches, and such the general eagerness to witness their punishment, that, by ten in the morning, the chief avenues from Clerkenwell Prison and Newgate to the place of punishment were crowded with people; and the multitude assembled in the Haymarket, and all its immediate vicinity, was so great as to render the streets impassible. All the windows and even the very roofs of the houses were crowded with persons of both sexes; and every coach, waggon, hay-cart, dray, and other vehicles which blocked up great part of the street, were crowded with spectators.

The Sheriffs, attended by two City Marshals, with an immense number of constables, accompanied the procession of the Prisoners from Newgate, whence they set out in the transport caravan, and proceeded through Fleet-street and the Strand; and the Prisoners were hooted and pelted the whole way by the populace. At one o- clock four of the culprits were fixed in the pillory, erected for and accommodated to the occasion, with two additional wings, one being allotted for each criminal; and immediately a new torrent of popular vengeance poured upon them from all sides. The day being fine, the streets were dry and free from mud, but the dfect was speedily and amply supplied by the butchers of St. James’s-market. Numerous escorts of whom constantly supplied the party of attack, chiefly consisting of women, with tubs of blood, garbage, and ordure from their slaughter-houses, and with this ammunition, plentifully diversified with dead cats, turnips, potatoes, addled eggs, and other missiles, the criminals were incessantly pelted to the last moment. They walked perpetually round during their hour [the pillory swivelled on a fixed axis]; and although from the four wings of the machine they had some shelter, they were completely encrusted with filth.

Two wings of the Pillory were then taken off to place Cooke and Amos in the two remaining ones, and although they came in only for the second course, they had no reason to complain of short allowance, for they received even a more severe discipline than their predecessors. On their being taken down and replaced in the caravan, they lay flat in the vehicle; but the vengeance of the crowd still pursued them back to Newgate, and the caravan was so filled with mud and ordure as completely to cover them.

No interference from the Sheriffs and Police officers could refrain the popular rage; but notwithstanding the immensity of the multitude, no accident of any note occurred.

The six men were relatively lucky. Depending on the ferocity of the crowd, death at the pillory wasn’t out of the question. The pillory was formally abolished in England in 1837.

If you know of something that belongs on the agenda, please send it here. Don’t forget to include the basics: who, what, when, where, and URL (if available).

And feel free to consider this your open thread for the day. What’s happening in your world?