He did not apologize for harm which I thought was his main intent.

He also seemed to cover his tracks about marrying a woman saying “many of us do” which could cause parents to lambast their gay kids into marrying straight as if it’s a real option and a “Christian” thing to do.

He also did not say “I’m a homosexual” as he did in writing. I’d like to hear if he would marry a woman in today’s climate if he were young and had that choice to make.

I’d like to hear him say sexually active gay people, not just gay people, are welcome in the church without judgement by God or anyone, and start dismembering those that still practice his ex-harmful ways.

I look forward to hopefully seeing him on more national news programs for longer one on one chats, to unpack more data and get clearer in a more effective manner on many points.

I’m glad to see he is taking the high road, has kept his faith which Randy Thomas wrongly deluded to, and I am surprised he popped onto the national stage so quickly. It’s truly a great step forward in the national conversation.

No, to Randy, diverging from the narrow dogma of reorientation means that you have rejected God himself. Here are the words he uses to discuss those who no longer believe that same-sex attracted people will become opposite-sex attracted people if they rely on God and that they MUST seek to do so in order to be moral and godly and holy (and is willing to throw some social and legal punishment in if they don’t).

* renounced many of the teachings and beliefs they had once held
* decided to not stand firm
* almost completely repudiated their past ministry

not too bad, but he’s just getting rolling

* very strongly and clearly, renounced faith in Him
* renouncing Christ

And as for Smid’s announcement, specifically, it’s “Scandalous circumstance” and he’s grown weak in his “walk in the Lord”.

You see, to Randy, abandoning the ‘Jesus can and wants to make you straight’ belief is the same as abandoning God. Because Randy has allowed his quest for heterosexuality to become so entwined with his notions of faith that it has, in many respects, become his god.

Like many ex-gays, I wonder what would happen to Randy’s faith if he ever gave up the struggle. Would there be left anything at all?

nothing i experienced came close to the horrors i’m reading above, but the manipulation of parents and loved ones in the twisted game of dominance over the “patient” is what rings true. later, the parents experience overwhelming guilt, and the patient, betrayed by their own parents, take years to learn to trust anyone ever again.

the behavior goes beyond malpractice and firmly constitutes criminality, regardless of how good the intentions are. inevitably, behavior like those espoused by these “therapists” have more to do with their own internal psychodemons than anything do to with their patients. how kind of them to share.

frankly, i was scarred for life, and what i experienced was comparatively mild, so i can only imagine. my heart goes out to the victims here.

i can only think that getting an unconditional “i was wrong, i’m sorry, and i know that ‘sorry’ will never be enough” can go a long way. i believe many of the patients are likely experiencing long-lasting emotions, and, if nothing else, admitting wrong-doing allows them to stop hating the people who did this to them, so maybe the ongoing injury can start to heal. (i never got that – just the satisfaction of knowing a different patient sued her out of her license to practice, out of business, and into bankruptcy).

as for making amends, if he really expects to ever come close, he’s going to have to do more than sit in the back and say “i was wrong”. he’s going to have to put life and limb on the line to defend those he harmed. he’s going to have to stand up and shout at those who continue to target gays and lesbians. getting arrested at a DOMA protest might be a sign of good faith. he owes countless people everything – everything he earned, and everything they lost, and it’s a debt that will probably never come close to being fully repaid. but maybe he’ll be able to sleep at night. and maybe he won’t have people doing the happy dance when his obituary comes out.

I’ve lost track of my friend but I know he was terribly screwed up. He had been married, had eight children, and was a bishop in the church. He was *amazingly* talented as an interior designer.

IDavid made the same point in his post last week. This is the beginning of atonement and restitution.

Anhything less is just too easy.