I challenged him to think about what he has said, that he was advocating a life of lies, deceit and secrecy and ultimately persecution. Some others at the forum thought that he was only speaking “personally” however as I reminded them that whenever a person gets up in their robes, their dog-collars, wearing their cross on a chain or lapel or waving their religious text about, they are no longer speaking “personally” but embodying that faith tradition for all those listening. It is no wonder so many people of the LGBTQI community are bitter towards faith traditions and people of faith.

If those of us that profess a faith in a higher power or life-force as well as being comfortable and real in our sexual orientation and it’s expression can stand firm in front of these people and remind them of their role in oppression, then perhaps we are part of the way toward a change of mind. Not everyone will change, because like this Cushman person, martyrdom is too damn attractive a state to let go willingly.

You said:

**It might be condescending, but isn’t hate to think, “Oh, they would be so much happier if they just gave all that up and got married. A family is such a blessing and joy.”

Such thinking may offend us and may be based in willful ignorance, but it need not be the product of hatred or animus.**

Such thinking is based in Heterosexism, or Straight Supremacy, as it were. The straightforward belief that, regardless how one may feel about being gay, being straight is simply better.

Supremacist beliefs do not always come coupled with animus. I’ve met all sorts of supremacists, who would never name themselves such, simply because they clearly didn’t HATE me and people like me, but they were very open about feeling sorry for me and people like me, condescendingly tolerating people like me, all the while considering me and people like me somehow beneath their station.

Supremacist attitudes ARE problematic and they DO call for resistance. Hate is NOT the only problem oppressed groups have. Not to say that the author was in any way saying hate is the only problem, but too often whether or not something was a “hate” incident is the focus of our attention, rather than whether the incident in question contributes to our collective harm.

You said:

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Such thinking is based in Heterosexism, or Straight Supremacy, as it were. The straightforward belief that, regardless how one may feel about being gay, being straight is simply better.

Supremacist beliefs do not always come coupled with animus. I’ve met all sorts of supremacists, who would never name themselves such, simply because they clearly didn’t HATE me and people like me, but they were very open about feeling sorry for me and people like me, condescendingly tolerating people like me, all the while considering me and people like me somehow beneath their station.

Supremacist attitudes ARE problematic and they DO call for resistance. Hate is NOT the only problem oppressed groups have. Not to say that the author was in any way saying hate is the only problem, but too often whether or not something was a “hate” incident is the focus of our attention, rather than whether the incident in question contributes to our collective harm.

You know, every time I hear this sort of stuff about gays I retreat to “what would someone in the 1400s do about Jews.” Oh, they were out to destroy civilization, families and Christianity too, it was said, by the commentators of the times. Jews said “but we’re born this way.” And Christians stepped up the pogroms and destruction, extermination, expulsions, the refusal of the state to recognized Jewish marriages — it’s all so eerily similar. It’s almost as if History is repeating itself.

Jews eventually got a country, maybe we need ours.