Box Turtle Bulletin

Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
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Posts for May, 2008

Straight Convention Workers An Epicenter For Potentially Deadly Norovirus

Jim Burroway

May 10th, 2008

It was just last January when the San Francisco Chronicle stoked fears over a new “gay plague” in their article about methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MSRA), a bacterial staph infection that is resistant to certain antibiotics. An article published in the Annals of Internal Medicine documented an outbreak of MRSA in the Castro, which lead anti-gay activists to falsely accuse gay men of spreading MRSA from the gay community into the straight community. The only problem with that charge is that MRSA had been making its rounds among heterosexuals for several decades. Ironically, athletes are at particularly high risk.

The Chronicle headline that started that hysteria read:

S.F. gay community an epicenter for new strain of virulent staph

Today, San Francisco activist Michael Petrelis noticed that this morning’s Chronicle headline about an outbreak of a potentially deadly norovirus among straight workers is very different:

Moscone Center workers sickened by norovirus

San Francisco public health officials are warning of an outbreak of a virus that has sickened dozens of people at Moscone Center.

About 70 people who fell ill had been at the Moscone Center between April 30 and Thursday, authorities said Friday. All but three were staff members working at the convention center, said Moscone spokesman David Perry.

NorovirusMichael Petrelis observes that while the MRSA story in January hyped fears of a dreaded disease in the gay community infecting the “general population,” this story is being treated by some news outlets as a light-hearted, low-key tech story (this norovirus epidemic started during a JavaOne tech conference) aimed at calming fears rather than stoking them. He noticed that CNET’s coverage was downright adolescent:

To clarify, this is a virus that makes you barf and gives you diarrhea. It’s not the kind of virus that sends Viagra-pitching e-mails to all your friends or treats you to a Rick Astley sing-along every time you turn on your computer.

No, you won’t drop dead from it. Norovirus is better known as one of the viruses that causes a nasty stomach flu. Symptoms only last about a day or two, but it’s highly contagious. Just to up the gross-out factor: Norovirus is found in the fecal matter or vomit of people who are infected. If they don’t wash their hands properly, they spread it when they handle food or drinks.

What a difference. When it was gays coming down with MRSA, headlines screamed, “New Superbug Hitting Gay Men” or “Flesh-eating bug spreads among gays.” This time, it’s “Did you get infected? Virus runs amok amid JavaOne.”

The norovirus is passed exactly the same way as MRSA — by people who don’t wash up. And get this: fecal matter is a culprit. That detail is an anti-gay activist’s wet dream. I wonder when Matt Barber and Peter LaBarbera will exploit this latest danger coming from the heterosexual community.

Hat tip: Michael Petrelis.

Focus On the Family’s Familiar New Logo

Jim Burroway

May 1st, 2008

Focus On the Family has finally retired its old, tired logo in favor of this new one:

FOTF Logo

Right away, I thought that logo looked familiar:

The Heterosexual Agenda

So there you have it: more evidence of their total embrace of their sinister agenda.

See also:
The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths

Heterosexual Incestuous Sex Slave

Timothy Kincaid

April 30th, 2008

fritzl.jpgIn the Box Turtle Bulletin’s The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths, Jim Burroway satirically illustrates how heterosexual militant activists are destroying society.

Here’s yet another example.

Josef Fritzl locked his 18 year old daughter in the basement so he could continue having sex with her… in 1984. She, and the children he subsequently fathered, have been there since. Upstairs, his wife never noticed.

Which all goes to show just why you can’t trust heterosexuals with marriage or children.

Heterosexual Agenda: Sex-Crazed Principal Targets Christian School Moms

Jim Burroway

April 18th, 2008

I wish I had the imagination to make stuff like this up, but I don’t. Thankfully, real life is good enough, and Houston’s ABC13 has the scoop in all of its trashy, hidden-camera glory:

The founder of a Christian school is confronted after 13 Undercover catches him soliciting sex from a parent, who’s trying to get her daughter a high school diploma.

LaVern JordanThat’s right. LaVern Jordon, founder of Parkway Christian School offered to allow a mother’s daughter to enter the private school. The mother had contacted the school after her daughter failed the state mandated TAKS test. But by paying a fee school and doing some some course work, students can graduate from Parkway Christian School without passing the required state test — which leaves one to wonder what Parkway’s accreditation status is.

But the most unique feature of Parkway Christian has to be its rather unique scholarship program:

Mother: “Yeah, what, I mean what, what, you gonna wipe out all the fees?”

Jordan: “All the enrollment fees.”

Mother: “All the enrollment fees?”

Jordan: “Three hundred dollars.”

Mother: “So you gonna wipe everything if me and you get together?”

Jordan: “The enrollment fee, yeah.”

Mother: “Ok.”

Jordan: “If you and I get together.”

Mother: “What you mean? I mean, what?

Jordan: “Excuse me and I don’t mean to be so blunt but I am talking about f—— you.”

Mother: “You talking about what?”

Jordan: “F—— you.”

But for $300, it’s not just a one time thing:

Jordan: “For the $300 I would expect maybe we could get together several times, you think?”

Mother: “Several times, whatcha mean several times?”

Jordan: “Well I don’t know, you might like whatcha getting.”

That’s one classy sweet-talking heterosexual. CitizenLink, Porno Pete, Concerned Women everywhere, are you watching?

Sex-Crazed Heterosexuals Defile Church Altar

Jim Burroway

March 22nd, 2008

Can you imagine the headlines over at Porno Pete’s if this couple had been a gay couple?

Police: Couple broke into church to have sex

SANDERSON, Florida — Deputies in Baker County arrested a couple caught having sex in a church.

Baker County Sheriff’s Deputies say they received a call about a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church, on the night of March 11th.

Deputies say they found a red Toyota pick-up truck and went inside the church.

“Her drawers [were] in the stands. Her brazier (sic) was over on the outside the stands,” Deacon Lonzie Altman recalled from his conversation with deputies.

According to the offense report, deputies found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar.

Rowland was taken into custody. She told deputies that Matthew Pearce, 28, was still inside.

Deputies found him underneath the church, partially dressed.

Red tea candles were also collected from the church. Deputies say there was splattered red wax all over the altar.

You know, every culture that has completely embraced heterosexuality has eventually come to and end. Is this a sign that ours is doomed?

Hat tip: Pam Spaulding.

Hetero Suburban Sex Club In Texas

Jim Burroway

December 7th, 2007

Here’s more evidence of the heterosexual menace that’s sweeping the nation:

The most popular address on Cedar Ridge Drive is Jim Trulock’s split-level home, which has a group sex room and attracts as many as 100 people to swinger parties featuring “Naked Twister” nights.

The Trulocks have been transforming their home on a quiet Duncanville, Texas street into “The Cherry Pit” every Friday and Saturday evening, and local officials fear that it may be placing a stain on the city just south of the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. Duncanville bills itself as “The Perfect Blend of Family, Community and Business.”

Duncanville officials are moving to ban sexually-oriented businesses inside the city limits, but the Trulocks plan to sue, saying their parties are private parties and not a business. And what a party it is:

“They have the largest hot tub in Dallas … a dance floor complete with stripper pole, a torture room … a group room with a giant frame with 6 full mattresses … and a semi-private room with three mattresses.”

Now I know Peter LaBarbera has been very keen to bust some of these parties wide open, now that he’s earned himself an appearance on Fox News showing his home movies of the Folsum Street Fair. Maybe he’d like to pack his camera and head down to Duncanville before the parties end. I happen to know for a fact that flights between Chicago and D/FW are cheap and frequent. If he can’t make the flight, then he might just head over to Club Meet4more in Chicago.

Oh, but it’s mostly heterosexuals. I guess he won’t be interested.