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Posts for January, 2010

Heterosexual Menace: mother, toddler, pit bull

Timothy Kincaid

January 30th, 2010

Not all heterosexuals molest children. And some can even be trusted alone around children (though a wise parent will be very careful and do a thorough background check before ever allowing an unsupervised practicing heterosexual around their vulnerable children).

Because it’s heterosexuals like the one we read about in Ontario that warn us just how dangerous the heterosexual lifestyle really is. Without getting too graphic about heterosexual sex, just think mother, two year old boy, and pit bull. (msnbc)

The woman had pleaded guilty to five of 12 charges, including sexual assault, making child pornography and possessing child pornography. An earlier charge of bestiality was dropped.

The admitted heterosexual woman was using the internet to broadcast her perversion to another heterosexual. Fortunately the heterosexual man felt shame and turned her in to authorities.

Officers found images and video in which the woman engaged in live sex acts both with herself and her toddler. In other instances, the woman involved her pet pit bull in the acts, and in many of the cases the child is seen walking around in the background and using sexualized language with his mother. The videos were broadcast live to the man who eventually turned the woman in to police.

As I stated earlier, we must love the heterosexual and hate the sin. But we must fight against the heterosexual agenda which is so closely linked to pedophilia, incest, and bestiality.

Satire aside, this is a serious crime against a small child. Fortunately, this woman will never again see the little boy and his foster parent say that he’s doing well.

But I find it disgusting that every single instance of bad behavior on the part of any single gay person is blown up into an indictment on all members of the community. Were this a gay man, it would be covered by every “family” advocacy group in the nation as a warning about “the homosexual agenda”.

There’s more heterosexual shenanigans here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

(hat tip to reader Respect)

Heterosexual Menace: Father forces sex on son

Timothy Kincaid

December 22nd, 2009

An Australian father decided that his son was too gay and that he was going to indocrinate him into heterosexuality:

During a family barbecue around Christmas time in 2007, the dad allegedly phoned a prostitute and arranged to meet her at a motel on Yaamba Road, North Rockhampton.

The father drove his son to the motel and paid the prostitute in $50 notes.

The prostitute took the boy into a motel room while the father waited on a balcony.

The dad walked in and out of the room to check on his son and told him he wanted to see a used condom as proof that they’d had sex.

It seems like the cure didn’t exactly fix Dad’s suspicions, because later he called the police with suspicion that the boy was abusing his younger brother.

The police were not impressed with Dad’s home remedy. He’s on trial for rape.

There’s more heterosexual shenanigans here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Child Raping Couple Send Kiddie Porn To Child Molester Suspect

Jim Burroway

October 29th, 2009

This one boggles the mind:

A Kent man and his estranged wife have been arrested after authorities say they filmed themselves raping a 4-year-old girl and sending photos of the abuse to a man facing child-molestation charges in Southern California.

Brian Beston, 36, and ex-wife Hollie Beston, 31, of Burien, were arrested by Seattle police last week after the FBI learned of the couple from a child-molestation suspect in Southern California, said charging documents filed Wednesday in King County Superior Court. The California man, 38-year-old Richard Hockaday, told federal investigators that he met the Bestons over Craigslist.

There’s more heterosexual shenanigans here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Cop Had Oral Sex With Cows And Got Off

Jim Burroway

September 26th, 2009
Robert Melia (left) and Heather Lewis (right)

Robert Melia (left) and Heather Lewis (right)

No, none of the cows are shown in these mug shots, but the guy did get off:

A New Jersey judge has dismissed animal cruelty charges against a cop accused of committing a sex act with young cows, saying a grand jury had no way of knowing whether the animals were “tormented.” Moorestown police officer Robert Melia, who is currently suspended, allegedly engaged in oral sex acts with five calves in Southampton in 2006. Since New Jersey currently has no law explicitly banning such an act, prosecutors in Burlington county brought animal cruelty charges against Melia, the Philadelphia Daily News reports. Judge Morely said it was questionable that Melia’s acts, though “disgusting,” constituted animal cruelty.

Burlington County assistant prosecutor Gevin Moran didn’t agree. “I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment.” But Melia’s lawyer, countering with the impeccable heterosexual logic, pointed out that as long as the calves in question don’t complain then everything’s copacetic. The judge agreed.

This is where the second mug shot comes in because they’re not ready to release Melia into greener pastures just yet. He and his girlfriend, Heather Lewis, are still being held on charges of sexually assaulting three girls over a five year period. After one of the girls reported the incident to her stepfather, authorities investigated and found videos on Melia’s computer which not only depicted him having sex with one of the girls, but also the romantic interludes with the buxom bovines as well. Lewis is also being accused of sexually assaulting an underage (human) male.

There’s more heterosexual menace here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda, Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace Update: Google-Eye View Of Sexual Slavery Compound

Jim Burroway

August 29th, 2009

The whole world is horrified at the story unfolding from Antioch, California. Phillip Garrido, a registered sex offender, and his wife Nancy, were arrested for kidnapping and repeatedly raping eleven-year-old Jaycee Lee Dugard and holding her captive for the next eighteen years. They kept her in a maze of trees, blue tarps, tents, sheds and abandoned vehicles in the back yard of their home, along with two girls, aged 11 and 15, who Garrido fathered with Jaycee Lee.

The Garrido residence is located at 1554 Walnut Ave, Antioch, California. Plug that address into Google Maps like I did, click on Satellite View, and you can see for yourself the hellhole that Jaycee Lee and her two daughters endured.

Garrido had been sentenced to 50 years for kidnapping and life for rape in a separate 1975 incident in South Lake Tahoe. He was released on parole just eleven years later. An investigator recalled, “I asked him after he confessed why he did it, it was the only way he could get sexual satisfaction. I think he had to use force to get sexual satisfaction.”

Heterosexual Menace: Sexual Slavery While Speaking “In The Tongue Of Angels”

Jim Burroway

August 28th, 2009
Heterosexual rapist and religious fanatic Phillip Garrido

Heterosexual rapist and religious fanatic Phillip Garrido

Eighteen years ago, an 11-year-old girl was kidnapped while she was on her way to her school bus stop. This week, she was found after her abductor aroused suspicions of a Berkeley, California  police officer.  Arrested were Phillip Garrido, a registered sex offender, and his wife Nancy. They kept Jaycee Lee Dugard captive in a maze of shrubs, trees, tents and sheds in the back yard of their Antioch, California home. Authorities also found two girls, aged 11 and 15, that authorities believe Garrido fathered with Jaycee Lee, whom he renamed Alissa.

Jaycee Lee has never been to school or saw a doctor in the eighteen years since she was abducted. Neither have the two little girls. Acquaintances described Garrido as a “religious fanatic.” Reporters from The Washington Post found Garrido’s blog, “Voices Revealed,” in which he wrote:

…[T]he Creator has given me the ability to speak in the tongue of angels in order to provide a wake-up call that will in time include the salvation of the entire world.

And you know, the more we look into the Heterosexual Menace, I’m beginning to wonder if every heterosexual in the world is a predator.

You can read more about the Heterosexual Agenda that straights like Garrido have in store for you in our report, The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.

Heterosexual Menace: A Mom’s Novel Approach To Conflict Resolution Between Children

Jim Burroway

July 3rd, 2009

Maggie Gallagher, in reaction to the Frank Lombard case, admits that she is very mistrustful of men adopting children. “I have a bias in favor of mothers,” she writes. “I have a suspicion (let me be frank — I’m not proud, but it’s true) of men who want to get close to children while depriving them of mothers.” I guess when it comes to raising children, mothers really know best. We can all probably learn some valuable lessons from moms on raising children.

Like this dilemma every parent faces. What do you do when your nine-year-old child is in the middle of a long-running dispute with one of her classmates?

Well if you’re a licensed clinical social worker and a classroom mother at your daughter’s elementary school, you post a sexually suggestive ad in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigist. And when throngs of sex-seeking men answer the ad, you give them the phone number of your child’s antagonist.

It just makes sense, right?

That’s what Margery Tannenbaum thought. She placed the ad with the headline of “Looking for a good time? W4M21″ on Craiglist. The ad read, “I need a little affection. … I  am blonde and very cute! I’ll be waiting!”

Next thing you know her child’s arch-enemy’s mother had to field at least 50 calls from horny straight men in two days before changing her number. Tannenbaum also ordered at least eight magazine subscriptions, a book and a DVD to be sent to the child’s home.

Tannenbaum was arraigned on Thursday on charges of aggravated harassment and endangering the welfare of a child. Her defense lawyer — he’s probably straight too, but we haven’t confirmed that yet — called her a “good, hardworking professional.” He also says “this is being blown out of proportion.”

This is outrageous, so outrageous I think it calls for some LaBarbera-esqe typography. Heterosexuals will stop at nothing in their thirst for debauchery! If you think this latest example is beyond the pale, then I’ve got news for you: this barely scratches the surface. There’s more heterosexual menace here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Update: News coverage of the Long Island mom accused of sending sex-crazed men to her daughter’s nine-year-old classmate is apparently lacking what some say is a key piece of information: the fact the alleged perpetrator is a heterosexual who lives with a “straight” man. Where’s the media frenzy? Why do all these reports hide that important fact?

Okay, I’ll stop with the red ink. It makes my eyes hurt.

Heterosexual Menace: Fox Reality Show To Promote “Traditional” Marriages

Jim Burroway

June 6th, 2009

Arranged marriages, that is:

Production has already been completed on the pilot, which centers on a woman who is in her late 30s and is eager to get hitched. A group of friends and family are presented with five eligible men, and the group slowly picks off the guys until one is left standing.

As each man is booted out, the bride-to-be gets her first look (”Dating Game” style) at who she won’t be marrying. By the end of the episode, she finally meets the guy she’s going to marry — and the ceremony is held. Each week focuses on another potential coupling.

Heterosexual Menace: Teaching Heterosexuality In The Public Schools

Jim Burroway

May 29th, 2009

If opposite-sex marriage becomes legal, then they’ll be teaching heterosexuality to your children in the public schools:

Radical heterosexualist Melissa Weber

Radical heterosexualist Melissa Weber

A middle school teacher has been arrested after authorities said she had sexual trysts with a 14-year-old student in a Queens classroom after school.

Social studies teacher Melissa Weber was awaiting arraignment late Thursday on rape, sexual abuse and child endangerment charges. Prosecutors don’t know whether she has a lawyer, and no telephone number can be found for her home.

Prosecutors say Weber had sex with the boy seven times at M.S./I.S. 8 this month and last. Prosecutors say the teen’s mother heard about the liaison Wednesday and found hundreds of contacts with the 27-year-old teacher in her son’s cell phone.

There’s more heterosexual menace here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Can’t Get Pregnant? Pimp Your Daughter

Jim Burroway

April 2nd, 2009

There’s more than one way to be pro-family. Like this couple from Pennsylvania:

A Uniontown woman accused of drugging a 13-year-old girl so a man could try to impregnate the teen said nothing Thursday as she was led to jail, but her minister said he feels that she is innocent of the charges. Uniontown police said Shana K. Brown, 32, and Duane Calloway, 40, concocted the plan to surreptitiously impregnate the girl because Brown can’t have more children.

…Brown, accompanied by her minister, turned herself in to police yesterday. She declined comment as she was led to jail in handcuffs. Her minister, the Rev. John Harris of Uniontown’s Church of God in Christ, said he believes Brown is innocent.

Calloway is also in custody. It’s good to know the couple have God on their side. What else are heterosexuals doing to protect the family? Find out here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Been There, Done That, Got the T-Shirt

Jim Burroway

March 18th, 2009

How’s this for a threat to marriage?

A Florida man wearing an “I ♥ My Marriage” t-shirt was arrested last night for allegedly choking his wife during an argument in their Tampa-area home. Bradley Gellert, a 32-year-old financial consultant, was busted by Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office deputies and booked into jail on a felony domestic battery by strangulation charge. According to a police report, Gellert, pictured in the mug shot, got into an argument with his wife and “screamed at the victim and threw numerous items.” He then allegedly “grabbed the victim’s neck and strangled her,” which “prevented the victim from breathing normally.”

The T-shirt was a merchandising item promoting a 2008 movie “Fireproof,” staring Kirk Cameron. The Christian-themed movie didn’t do much at the box office, but it apparently was a hit among evangelicals. It’s about a fireman who became born again and set out to save his failing marriage. Somehow I don’t think that message stuck with Gellert.

Heterosexual Menace: Recruitment In Daycare

Jim Burroway

March 16th, 2009
Heterosexuals Stephen E. Quick (left) and Samantha Light (right).

Heterosexuals Stephen E. Quick (left) and Samantha Light (right).

From Indiana:

A couple who ran a baby-sitting service out of their home videotaped themselves performing sex acts with children, some as young as 2 months old, police said Friday. Stephen E. Quick, 31, and Samantha Light, 25, both of Veedersburg in western Indiana, were being held on $100,000 bond in Fountain County Jail. Both faced preliminary charges of child molestation and child exploitation. Jail staff did not know whether either one had an attorney. Police who searched the couple’s home found a videotape depicting sex acts involving Quick and Light and at least four different children between the ages of 2 months and 6 years old, said Fountain County Sheriff’s Deputy Bob Kemp.

…Deputies seized several computers, cameras, a video camera, pornographic materials, drugs and drug paraphernalia. Several sex toys that appeared in the video were seized during a second search, police said.

I love the names Quick and Light. It almost sounds downright Christian somehow. There’s a video report here. And here they think we’re the ones recruiting!

I know it’s hard to keep up, but we try to keep tabs on all of the dangerous things those heterosexuals are doing here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: BTB reader Louie]

Heterosexual Menace: Two Utah Teachers Seduce Same Young Boy

Jim Burroway

March 7th, 2009
Valynne Bowers (left) and Linda Neff (right)

Valynne Bowers (left) and Linda Nef (right)

Must be all that porn:

Two Bountiful Junior High School teachers are accused of sexually assaulting the same 13-year-old student, after their separate relationships with him spiraled from personal conversations to the exchange of sexual text messages and phone sex, authorities said.

On Friday, the Davis County Attorney’s Office filed first-degree felony charges of rape and sodomy on a child against Linda R. Nef, 46, and Valynne Bowers, 39.

Nef, a Utah studies teacher and cheerleading adviser, and Bowers, who teaches math, each confessed to having sex with the student, said Bountiful Police Lt. Randy Pickett. Until recently, the two teachers did not know about each other’s relationship with the same boy, Pickett said.

According to Utah law, these two teachers can fight it out over who wins the affections of the thirteen-year-old student in another five years. And according to Utah law, that then-eighteen-year-old can even pick one and marry her, conviction and all (assuming it comes to that). But same sex partners don’t have the right to even visit each other in the hospital if one should fall seriously ill.

You can read keep tabs on what those dangerous heterosexuals are up to here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: reader Louie]

Heterosexual Menace: Stop Her Before She Marries Again

Jim Burroway

February 21st, 2009

Apparently for one Anderson, Indiana woman, protecting the sanctity of marriage involves getting married as often as possible:

She has been Mrs. Scott, Mrs. Street and Mrs. Smith. She was also Mrs. Moyer, Mrs. Massie and Mrs. McMillan. But the former Mrs. Berisford, Mrs. Chandler and Mrs. Essex was born Linda Lou Taylor. … More than a decade ago, the 68-year-old found her own way to bring Indiana a Guinness world record: She got hitched for the 23rd time.

She’s single again, and she’d would like to find someone to settle down with. Again. She means it this time. She also says that her first marriage was for love, but her last one in 1996 was for publicity.

Publicity!

And to think that we can’t get married for love or money.

You can read more about what those heterosexuals are up to here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Forced Conversions

Jim Burroway

February 17th, 2009

This just in from Toledo:

A Toledo man accused of kidnapping, handcuffing and holding captive in an adult diaper a 22-year-old woman he picked up off the streets in Detroit may have been trying to save her, authorities say.

Troy Brisport, 34, also read the Bible to Shykea Boykin, the Detroit woman who told investigators Brisport handcuffed her by the wrists and ankles in his West Toledo apartment. He also took off her clothes and dressed her in an adult diaper, and gave her little to eat and drink, she told investigators.

Three days later, Boykin sneaked out of the apartment, still handcuffed by the wrists, in a diaper and a t-shirt, banging on neighboring apartment doors and finally on doors outside, police said.

Now who exactly is trying to “force” others to accept their lifestyle choices?

There’s more heterosexual outrage here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: “Life Is Short. Have An Affair.”

Jim Burroway

February 3rd, 2009


A pitch for adultery found a home in Houston, where local television stations aired a commercial for AshleyMadison.com, an online dating service for married people looking for outside lovers.

Even though heterosexuals like to talk a blue streak about the virtues of monogamy, the Toronto-based dating service — their tagline is “Life is short. Have an affair.” — signed up a quarter-million members in the past few months. Maybe those quarter-million new members were drawn by AshleyMadison.com’s Have-an-affair-or-your-money-back guarantee.

Houston, Dallas and San Antonio are AshleyMadison.com’s fastest-growing markets. Even though the ad had been banned from national broadcast by the NFL and NBC, Houston’s KPRC elected to show it.

YouTube Preview Image

Hey, at least they didn’t interrupt their broadcast with straight porn with full frontal male nudity (NSFW).

There’s more heterosexual outrage here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: The Real Threat In Schools

Jim Burroway

February 3rd, 2009

Peter LaBarbera has his hair on fire over openly gay Ron Huberman being named CEO of Chicago’s public schools. He’s afraid that Huberman’s appointment will send a message that being gay is “normative to impressionable Chicago students.” Perhaps LaBarbera should show more concern about some very direct messages — in the form of text messages — that some educators are sending to young impressionable students:

49-year-old female teacher from a Phoenix elementary school was arrested at a hotel Saturday after luring a 14-year-old boy there through text messages that portrayed herself as a sexually active teenager, according to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office. Rosanna Brown of Chandler, an English teacher at Ed Pastor Elementary School, 2101 W. Alta Vista Road, admitted to having sexual relations with the boy, according to the sheriff’s office.

… Brown had checked into the hotel on Saturday and when the boy arrived at the hotel, he claimed the room was dark, and believed he was having sex with a teenage girl, [Sheriff Joe] Arpaio said. But then the boy realized it was his English teacher, Arpaio told the Tribune.

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Shock Collars, Shootings, Incest — But No Gay Adoption

Jim Burroway

February 2nd, 2009

From Xenia, Ohio, we have a father who disciplined his children by using shock collars:

The Caesarscreek Twp. man who used a shock collar and water torture to discipline three of his four children was sentenced to 16 years in prison by Greene County Common Pleas Court Judge J. Timothy Campbell Monday. David O. Liskany, 39, of Hussey Road, was sentenced to six years each for two counts of second-degree felonious assault and to four years for one count of third-degree attempted felonious assault.

“The only thing you didn’t do was wrap their faces in cheesecloth. They basically were waterboarded,” Campbell said before handing down his sentence, which was far harsher than the 4 years in prison recommended by state probation authorities. According to Campbell, Liskany abused three of his four children — who were 13, 11 and four at the time of the abuse — by using a dog’s shock collar on them, holding them underwater, subjecting them to cold showers and spraying water up their noses.

Authorities found out when the older boy ran away from home, walking fifteen miles to a relative. Liskany’s ex-wife Wendy Liskany pleaded for the court to not jail her ex-husband. “I don’t feel that incarcerating him will help,” she said.

Maybe Liskany had to use such creative measures because they spoiled their children when they were younger. These parents from New York were determined not to make that mistake:

A 5-month-old child is in critical condition Saturday in what police suspect is a child abuse case. Police say they have charged the girl’s father, Scott Archbold, 41, with causing the injuries including multiple bone fractures, internal bleeding and signs of prior abuse. Christina Benjamin, (above right) the infant’s mother, has been charged with child endangerment for allegedly failing to get the child medical attention after the infant’s grandmother suspected the abuse.

But at least Liskany and the Archbold-Benjamins didn’t just kill their entire families outright.

Armed with a handgun, [Ervin Antonio] Lupoe evidently roamed room to room starting as early as Monday evening, fatally shooting his wife and five young children — including two sets of twins.

Early Tuesday, Lupoe faxed a bitter, rambling two-page letter to a local television station blaming his employer for his actions. Though his wife and children were already dead, he also called the station threatening to kill his family, investigators believe. He followed this up with an incongruous call to police saying that he had returned home and that “my whole family has been shot.”

Fortunately, not all heterosexuals are so violent. This father loved his daughter so much, he had four children by her. He didn’t care much for his grandchildren-children though:

The father, Danial Rinehart, 47, is scheduled to appear in court Thursday. Authorities say three of the four babies he fathered by the second-oldest daughter, who is now 19, are dead. A 3-year-old boy is alive and in state custody. Rinehart is charged with second-degree felony murder, child endangerment, two counts of incest and two counts of abandonment of a corpse. The remains of two infants were found in chest-type coolers.

His wife, Linda Rinehart, is charged with child endangerment. Authorities say she was jealous of the relationship between her husband and daughter but helped with the babies’ deliveries.

Obviously, we need to put a stop to this sort of abusive family dynamics. That’s why a Tennessee state legislator is introducing legislation to ban adoption by same-sex parents. It’s also why a West Virginia judge thinks a 2-year-old girl would be much better off if she were ripped from the only parents she has ever known. Her lesbian fostor parents have cared for her since birth and now want to adopt her.

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: There’s Hope In Jesus

Jim Burroway

January 14th, 2009

Usually we use these heterosexual menace posts to highlight the many tragic ways in which heterosexuals pose a serious threat to society’s morals and health, as they pursue their empty lifestyles of misery, hopelessness and loneliness.

The good news is that heterosexuals don’t have to be victims of their compulsions. A new organization, Leviticus International, stands ready to help millions find true freedom in their struggle with heterosexuality. According to the web site, “Jesus Christ has the power to end heterosexuals’ misery and make them happy well-adjusted gays.”

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Exodus 21:7 Returns

Jim Burroway

January 13th, 2009

In today’s verse we read this in Exodus 21:7-11, in which God himself told Moses:

“If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as menservants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.

In today’s news, we read:

Police have arrested a Greenfield [California] man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat. Police say they only learned of the deal after 36-year-old Marcelino de Jesus Martinez went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn’t made as promised. Martinez was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.

Officers also arrested 18-year-old Margarito de Jesus Galindo on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with Galindo, but she’s under California’s legal age of consent and can’t legally marry. Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.

Now you see, if de Jesus had only followed the Biblical model and paid the man, he wouldn’t be in trouble with the police right now.

You can read more examples of the heterosexual menace here, and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: Homer]

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