News, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
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Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences, by Carolyn W. Griffin and Marian J. Wirth
Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning Son or Daughter, by Kevin Jennings
Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents, by Mary V. Borhek
Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, by Abigail Garner
Sons Talk About Their Gay Fathers: Life Curves, by Andrew Gottlieb.
Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up With Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Parents, by Noelle Howey and Ellen Samuels (Eds.)Marriage Continues to Play Central Role in NY Senate Drama
Timothy Kincaid
June 10th, 2009
More rumors fly on the NY Senate coup, some involving whether the alliance will hold. And at this point it continues to be likely that the best chance for a vote on the marriage bill will be with the new shared-power Repulican alliance. (Buffalo News)
The new leader added that legalizing gay marriage “is my signature issue at this point.” Espada is actively trying to woo Sen. Thomas Duane, a Manhattan Democrat who is pushing the gay marriage bill, to join with him and the Republicans in running the Senate.
Espada said he hopes to bring the bill to the floor next week. Its passage is far from certain, however, but Espada said he wants to end the days of the Legislature’s only bringing bills to the floor that are certain to pass.
NOM Loses It Over Carrie’s Lost Glittering Tiara
Timothy Kincaid
June 10th, 2009
Here is the National Organization for Marriage’s full press release in all of its fabulous hystronic wild-eyed glory:
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR MARRIAGE RESPONDS TO THE FIRING OF MISS CALIFORNIA USA CARRIE PREJEAN:
(Princeton, NJ) - Today, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) issued the following statement in response to the firing Miss California USA Carrie Prejean:
“Hollywood hates Carrie. First they abuse her, then they try to get her to recant, then they threw mud, and now they are doing what they wanted to do from day one: Get rid of Carrie.
This cover story about a contract dispute doesn’t pass the smell test. Americans aren’t fooled that easily. God knows, and we know, the truth about Carrie: She’s a young woman of great beauty who chose truth over the glittering tiara that Hollywood offers,” said Brian Brown, Executive Director for NOM. “Of course they will try to punish her, but we know she will be fine in the end, because her values are in the right place.”
“Hollywood will dance its tribal war dance over her body–the hatred generated against her has been extraordinary–but Carrie will be free to define her own mission and message from now on. Congratulations,” stated Maggie Gallagher, President for NOM.
Cue the war dance.
I’ve been informed that depicting Maori and other Indiginous Peoples is a “racist misappropriation” and that “acontextual stereotypes of Native people being warlike and savage” are offensive. Although I doubt that my Native American ancestory would qualify me as entitled to use a depiction of a Cherokee war dance, I trust that my Scottish ancestory and last name will suffice to allow for a Highlander to be shown. So I have replaced the photograph of the Maori dancers with a painting by Robert Griffing which depicts a Highland war dance, the Sword Dance.
Although it probably isn’t the type of “tribal war dance” that Gallagher was picturing, it is likely the only image that would be deemed acceptable by those who do such deeming. Scots don’t much complain about such imagery. And if anyone continues to be concerned about the racist misappropriation of the honorable Highland Scots, it may calm your concerns to note that this particular dancer appears to be wearing Kincaid Plaid.
Marriage Rumors Fly in New York
Timothy Kincaid
June 10th, 2009
New York is still in a whirl over the Republican coup in the Senate. And with Democrats locking refusing to concede and locking the doors of the chamber, uncertainty reigns. Republicans are planning on calling the Senate to order, even if they have to do so in a park.
Naturally, amidst the turmoil rumors of all sorts abound. And many of them involve the gay marriage bill.
Perhaps the most startling is the idea that Republicans may be wooing Democrats by promising to pass the marriage bill. (NY Times)
One of the senators who is believed to be considering breaking ranks with the Senate Democratic conference, Thomas K. Duane of Manhattan, would not say Tuesday where he planned to cast his political allegiance. “I am not considering anything but trying to get passed all the legislation I’ve spent my whole life fighting for,” he said. Mr. Duane, who did not attend meetings with his Democratic colleagues on Tuesday, said he had spent all day in discussions with senators from both parties.
Mr. Duane did not attend the meeting of Democrats on Wednesday morning, and he has not been seen in the Capitol since Monday.
City Hall News takes the story further
But the scuttlebutt among several lawmakers and aides, which many of Duane’s colleagues and supporters seem to believe, is that he is hashing out a deal with the Senate Republicans to bring a bill legalizing same-sex marriage to the floor for a vote.
That would not surprise those close to Duane, who say the Manhattan Democrat is committed above all else to passing same-sex marriage legislation before the end of the session—even if it means joining the coalition majority, some of whose members “he despises,” according to one close friend and adviser. Cooperating with Republicans would offer Duane the opportunity to pass landmark civil rights legislation that could have ripple effects across the country.
They provide some history
The move would not surprise Republicans, either. GOP leaders, including then-Majority Leader Dean Skelos, courted Duane intensively as early as December of last year, according to a Republican official familiar with the conversations.
At the time, Smith was struggling to appease a group of dissident Democrats who were threatening to throw their support behind the Republicans. One, Sen. Ruben Diaz Sr., tried to extract from Smith a promise not to bring the same-sex marriage bill to the floor for a vote.
As Smith mulled that deal, Republicans reached out to Duane, enticing him with the possibility of bringing gay marriage to the floor themselves and, with his support, passing the bill. Duane ultimately rebuffed those overtures after Smith rejected the terms of Diaz’s deal.
The plan some Republicans had hatched involved letting a handful of their safer and more moderate members, such as Sen. Betty Little, vote along with most of the Democratic conference in favor of the gay marriage bill. That way, Republicans would co-opt a key plank in the Democrats’ platform and claim that they had succeeded where the Democrats had failed.
Republicans now appear to have resurrected those plans in a political maneuver they feel would neutralize a key voting bloc and further debilitate a wounded Democratic conference.
There is even speculation that Duane is willing to change party registration.
If any of this is true, it would be perhaps one of the strangest political turns that I’ve seen.
Another Die-hard Conservative For Marriage Equality
Jim Burroway
June 9th, 2009
First it was Ted Olson launching a lawsuit challenging California’s Prop 8 in Federal court. Then it was Dick Cheney coming out for same-sex unions. Now a former New York legislator who spent a career blocking LGBT rights at every turn has come out in favor of marriage equality.
New York governor David Patterson (D) has asked former State Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno to endorse the same-sex marriage bill that is before the Senate. Bruno’s endorsement came today:
It’s time — now — for government to back off, let people make their own life decisions, and about who they care about and who they don’t care about.
Bruno is a registered lobbyist, but state law bars him from doing any direct lobbying for another year. While he can’t lobby directly, it is hoped that Bruno’s endorsement may provide cover for a few Republicans to vote for the measure.
Bruno resigned last summer, and he’s fending off federal corruption charges associated with his outside business interests. He nevertheless enjoys a strong reputation among many GOP state senators.
New Jersey’s Narrow Window
Timothy Kincaid
June 8th, 2009
Even before today, I was intending to write about the narrow window of opportunity that New Jersey government has in which to implement marriage equality. But the coup in the New York Senate has provided an illustration of just how transient opportunities can be. Changes in power can come unexpectedly so those who are in a position of political authority should use their power responsibly and not assume that it will always be there when needed.
Last Tuesday, Christopher Christie won the Republican nomination for New Jersey Governor. On a page on Christie’s website titled “Shared Values”, he says the following:
I also believe marriage should be exclusively between one man and one woman. While, I have no issue with same sex couples sharing contractual rights, I believe that marriage should remain the exclusive domain of one man and one woman. If a bill legalizing same sex marriage came to my desk as Governor, I would veto it. If the law were changed by judicial fiat, I would be in favor of a constitutional amendment on the ballot so that voters, not judges, would decide this important social question.
You’ll note he used the odd phrase “contractual rights” as opposed to civil unions, a structure that New Jersey already enjoys. Christie is no friend of our community.
As unlikely as it may seem for a pro-life, anti-marriage candidate to win the top seat in New Jersey, incumbent governor John Corzine is not safe. A poll on Thursday showed him far behind his opponent.
The Rasmussen Reports poll released today shows Christie defeating the incumbent Democrat 51% to 38%.
If marriage equality is not enacted by November, it is likely to be at least four years before we have another chance.
GOP Coup in NY Senate; What Does this Mean for Marriage?
Timothy Kincaid
June 8th, 2009
By the votes of two Democratic senators, control of the New York State Senate has been turned over to Republicans. (WSJ)
Republicans appear to have retaken control of New York’s Senate after two dissident Democrats jumped the aisle.
The flip of senators Pedro Espada Jr. of the Bronx and Hiram Monserrate of Queens gives Republicans a 32-30 edge in the chamber.
Within an hour of the overthrow, Republicans named Mr. Espada temporary president of the Senate and Dean Skelos of Nassau County vice president and majority leader. Mr. Skelos is the former majority leader.
This is decidedly unfavorable for Democrats in the state. However, it is less certain what it means for the vote on gay marriage. Espada was considered a “yes” vote for marriage and Monseratte was undecided.
Previous Democratic Senate President Malcolm Smith was holding up a vote on marriage by saying that the bill does not have adequate votes to pass. Some thought that his decision may been more related to deals made to keep in power and, if that did weigh on his decision, today’s action is definitely ironic.
It is possible that Espada, who remains a Democrat, did not have to make the same assurances in order to get his position. And it is possible that a vote for marriage may take place. From my seat on the other side of the nation it’s pretty hard to predict.
AZ Legislature Moves To Strip Domestic Partner Benefits
Jim Burroway
June 6th, 2009
Here’s a story that goes to show that marriage opponents will lie, cheat and steal to have their way.
Last summer, Arizona lawmakers broke Senate rules in order to place an anti-marriage amendment on the 2008 ballot. At the time, they said that Prop 102 would not endanger domestic partnerships, and that all they wanted to do was “define marriage” in the state constitution. Marriage opponents went on to make this a key centerpiece on their Prop 102 campaign, that they had no interest in denying anyone’s domestic partnership benefits.
Well now we know that was yet another bold-faced lie:
State lawmakers are moving to strip the domestic partners of state and university employees of the health insurance coverage they gained just a year ago.
A provision in the state budget would legally define “dependents” of state employees who are entitled to coverage as a spouse or a child younger than 19 — or younger than 23 if a full-time student. Changing the law would override regulations adopted last year that added domestic partners and their children to the list.
The state Department of Administration says about 750 workers who have signed up for the benefits would be affected.
The measure passed the House last night and is now on the governor’s desk. Gov. Jan Brewer (R), who became governor when Janet Napolitano (D) became Homeland Security secretary for the Obama administration, was on record in 2006 for opposing domestic partner benefits for state employees.
Equality Arizona is urging state residents to call Governor’s office (602-542-4331 or toll free at 1-800-253-0883) or email the Governor here.
Heterosexual Menace: Fox Reality Show To Promote “Traditional” Marriages
Jim Burroway
June 6th, 2009
Production has already been completed on the pilot, which centers on a woman who is in her late 30s and is eager to get hitched. A group of friends and family are presented with five eligible men, and the group slowly picks off the guys until one is left standing.
As each man is booted out, the bride-to-be gets her first look (”Dating Game” style) at who she won’t be marrying. By the end of the episode, she finally meets the guy she’s going to marry — and the ceremony is held. Each week focuses on another potential coupling.
West Virginia Supreme Court Awards Custody To Lesbian Couple
Jim Burroway
June 5th, 2009
The West Virginia Supreme Court ruled that an 18-month-old foster child should be allowed to remain with the only parents she has ever known.
In a unanimous opinion, the court turned back Fayette County Circuit Judge Paul Blake Jr.’s order that the girl should be taken away from Kathryn Kutil and Cheryl Hess and placed with a heterosexual couple who might adopt her. The court noted that there was no evidence that the girl’s placement with the lesbian couple was in any way harmful to her:
“As a matter of fact, the court was never presented with any actual evaluation of the home or evidence of the quality of the relationship” the girl had with Kutil and Hess, the justices said. “All indications thus far are that (the girl) has formed a close emotional bond and nurturing relationship with her foster parents, which can not be trivialized or ignored.”
The justices said Blake only ruled in favor of removing the child to promote placing her with a heterosexual couple.
“The conclusion itself represents a blurring of legal principles applicable to abuse and neglect and adoption,” the decision said. “Even if our current statutes, rules and regulations could somehow be read to support the adoption preference proposed by (Blake) such a newfound principle would need to be harmonized with established law.”
The court also said that Kutil and Hess should be considered “if not favored” in the selection of the girl’s eventual adoptive home. The girl has lived with Kutil and Hess her entire life, after having been born to a drug-addicted mother in 2007. The Department of Health and Human Resources placed the infant with Kutil and Hess, but later sought to remove the girl, even though Kutil and Hess were foster parents to six other children. DHHR claimed that they only wanted to alleviate what they saw as too many children in the Kutil-Hess household, but the Supreme Court didn’t buy it:
“It is more than apparent that the only reason why [Kutil and Hess] were being replaced as foster care providers was to promote the adoption of [the child] by what [Blake] called in his November 12, 2008, order a ‘traditionally defined family, that is, a family consisting of both a mother and a father,’” the opinion reads.
West Virginia law allows three types of parents to adopt: a single person; a married person with permission from his or her spouse; or a married couple. The court noted that West Virginia Law does not place a preference on the type of person who adopts. One of the two women hopes to adopt the child as a single parent.
FotF’s Fictional Fears
Timothy Kincaid
June 4th, 2009
Responding to New Hampshire’s marriage equality bills which also expressly protect religious freedoms, Focus on the Family had the following to say:
“While the debate over the lack of religious-liberty protections revealed the dangers to the First Amendment rights of citizens, the language added to the bill is pitifully ineffective,” he said. “Not only will the law create family situations where children will be deprived of either a mother or a father, but citizens are being deprived of significant First Amendment rights, as well.”
Under similar statutes, Christian business owners and churches have been forced to violate their religious beliefs.
No. They haven’t.
Only two other states have similar statutes: Connecticut and Vermont; and in Vermont, same sex marriages won’t be effective until September. And I am perfectly confident in stating that there are NO INSTANCES in Connecticut in which Christian business owners or churches have been forced to violate their religious beliefs.
So don’t look down FotF, but your pants are on fire.
Are Marriages Now Legal in D.C.?
Timothy Kincaid
June 4th, 2009
It has now been 30 days since the Council of Washington, D.C. voted 12 - 1 to recognize same-sex marriages that were legally performed elsewhere. Congress’ window to veto the Council’s decision seems to have run out.
Does this then mean that D.C. residents can now take a five hour drive up I-95 and return to live in legally wedded bliss?
ANSWER: From our informed readers below: “Nope”
It appears to be legislative days, not calendar days. So D.C. residents still have time to rent the hall and plan the local reception for their out-of-state wedding.
Marriage Equality Virtually Everywhere
Timothy Kincaid
June 4th, 2009
Lyle Masaki, posting at After Elton, is reporting that same-sex couples can marry on the newly-released Sims 3 roll playing computer game.
So when I bought my copy of the latest Sims game yesterday, I wanted to find out if gay couples had taken another step forward and now had the ability to get married like any other couple … and after a week of game time, I was able to get a male couple to plan a wedding party and tie the knot.
It’s nice to know that even in those states that have made it perfectly clear that they’d give more rights to chickens than to gay couples, you can still disappear into a world where you have virtual equality.
Betty Bowers Explains Bible-Based Marriage
Jim Burroway
June 4th, 2009
And New Hampshire Makes Six
Timothy Kincaid
June 3rd, 2009
Today the New Hampshire Senate and House of Representatives passed the religious protections bill required by Governor Lynch to get his approval of the marriage equality bill. Lynch has promised to sign the marriage/religious protections combination package of three bills and New Hampshire will bring the total number of states granting same-sex marriages up to six.
Update: The AP reports:
New Hampshire’s governor has signed legislation making the state the sixth to allow gay marriage.
Gov. John Lynch was Surrounded by cheering supporters of the move as he signed the three bills about an hour after the key vote on the legislation in the House.
Marriage will begin in New Hampshire in January 1, 2010.
Rhode Island Senate Votes for a Single Domestic Partnership Right
Timothy Kincaid
June 3rd, 2009
Domestic Partners may be recognized in Rhode Island. But only once they are dead.
the Senate on Tuesday approved a bill giving “domestic partners” the right to claim the bodies of — and make funeral arrangements for — their loved ones.
A domestic partner is defined in the measure as “a person who prior to the decedent’s death was in an exclusive, intimate and committed relationship with the decedent.”
This is important in that if it passes the House, the State of Rhode Island will recognize that same-sex couples do have exclusive, intimate and committed relationships and that they are worth consideration. While this is not much compared to their neighbors, it’s a start.
And the story behind this bill shows all too clearly that the claims that “gay people can get the same rights through contracts and legal documents” is a cruel lie.
Mark S. Goldberg told a Senate committee about his months-long battle last fall to persuade state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, so he could grant Hanby’s wish for cremation — only to have that request rejected too because “we were not legally married or blood relatives.”
Goldberg said he tried to show the police and the state medical examiner’s office “our wills, living wills, power of attorney and marriage certificate” from Connecticut, but “no one was willing to see these documents.”
He said he was told the medical examiner’s office was required to conduct a two-week search for next of kin, but the medical examiner’s office waited a full week before placing the required ad in a newspaper. And then when no one responded, he said, they “waited another week” to notify another state agency of an unclaimed body.
Where Are Those NY Senate Votes?
Timothy Kincaid
June 2nd, 2009
New York State Senator Tom Duane says that he has the 32 votes necessary for passage of the marriage equality bill. But NY1 has polled the Senate and if Duane has the votes they aren’t telling:
Twenty lawmakers tell NY1 that they would vote “yes” on the bill, with 15 either undecided or noncommittal. The measure would need 32 votes to pass.
According to the NY1 tall, if only four more undecided lawmakers oppose gay marriage, the bill would fail.
You can see their count here.
Cheney Reiterates Marriage Support
Timothy Kincaid
June 1st, 2009
Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday he supports gays being able to marry but believes states, not the federal government, should make the decision.
“I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone,” Cheney said in a speech at the National Press Club. “I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish.”
Update: Here’s the video:
Civil Unions Bill Dies in Illinois
Timothy Kincaid
June 1st, 2009
It now appears that the Illinois House of Representatives did not vote on the Civil Unions bill before them. The session is over and civil unions are a dead, for now.
Illinois House Vote on Civil Unions Tomorrow
Timothy Kincaid
May 30th, 2009
The vote on Civil Unions in the Illinois House of Representatives will take place tomorrow, the last day of session. Currently there are 70 Democrats and 48 Republicans in the House. The Governor supports the bill.
New Hampshire Marriage Back on Track
Timothy Kincaid
May 29th, 2009
The Boston Globe reports:
A little over a week after the House rejected language Gov. John Lynch had demanded, House and Senate negotiators agreed to a compromise Friday that added one sentence and changed one word in the Senate-passed bill. Negotiators planned to sign off on the final language by Monday, allowing for a vote by the full House and Senate on Wednesday.
Barring any additional unexpected hickups, marriage equality should be in place in New Hampshire by the end of next week.
