Box Turtle Bulletin
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobby“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbyFebruary 26th, 2010
Straight people have been turning weddings into cheap stunts for eons, whether it’s a nude wedding in the Berkshires or a wedding chappel in Las Vegas featuring Elvis impersonators. While most of those who have been fighting for marriage equality have taken the ideals of marriage very seriously, we shouldn’t be too surprised to see that, much like out straight families and friends, not all see it as the dignified and solemn occasion that most of us would envision. Yes, there are tacky gay people too, and quite a few of them are apparently completely clueless of what a precious a gift their stunt will be to our opponents, free for the asking:
The largest gay wedding in history is scheduled for Saturday, March 20th in Washington, DC. Up to 400 couples will exchange vows breaking the current Guinness World Record.
Event Emissary is the company organizing this stunt and shamelessly cashing in on the hard work of LGBT advocates in DC. But there you have it. Real equality also means the right to cheapen marriage for publicity and commercial purposes just like the straights have been doing. Cue Maggie Gallagher…
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Burr
February 26th, 2010
Straight people do these mass record weddings all the time. They’re frequently on the news. So I don’t see how this is much of a misstep at all.. Not something I would go for and tacky I agree.
Burr
February 26th, 2010
http://www.worldrecordsacademy.org/mass/largest_wedding_vows_renewal_world_record_set_in_Pittsburg_80145.htm
Lucrece
February 26th, 2010
Why is it cheapening it? Difference in celebrating an occasion important to them does not translate into tacky.
Several gays would deem the whole aping of straight marriages with the men in matching tuxedos to be quite tacky as well.
The Star Trek fans doing their Trekkie themed marriages are no less dignified than the couple making the bride wear a ridiculously large, impractical white dress that she will never wear again.
Burr
February 26th, 2010
Another thing.. Gays are arguably doing this because they could NOT have done it any sooner, so of course they’re going to do it in droves. Straight people who perform the same stunt are very clearly doing absolutely nothing but cheapening marriage.
At the very least it will make a point about how many people will immediately benefit from a recognition of their equality..
Timothy (TRiG)
February 26th, 2010
What’s the problem? It’s a mass wedding. So?
TRiG.
Richard W. Fitch
February 26th, 2010
I agree with TRiG – what’s the big deal? I’m not sure what country it is, maybe Japan, there is an annual mass wedding for those who can’t afford a huge celebration of their own and also for couples wishing to renew their vows. Personally it seems a way to underscore the fact that committed relationships are not only about two people in love but also the responsibility they have to society at large and vise versa.
GreenEyedLilo
February 26th, 2010
You know, I’ve never once heard any “family values” advocate say, “I might be okay with tasteful same-sex weddings done in a church with two tuxedos or two white gowns and two crying mothers.” No, the people who oppose same-sex marriage never bring up taste at all. It doesn’t matter *how* an individual same-sex couple goes about getting legally married; they don’t want it to happen, period. I don’t think this mass wedding will further harden any hearts. I don’t think we need to live in fear of what our opponents think of us, either.
Of course, some people here might think my wife and I are tacky and cheapen marriage. She just wanted something that involved our friends, wasn’t a church, and wasn’t a depressing quickie wedding in a government building. I had dreamed of getting married in the infield of the Daytona International Speedway before the Daytona 500, which falls around Valentine’s Day. Florida, however, has a pesky DOMA law. No wedding by a rented RV with a notary public officiating for a suitcase of beer and a race car driver we liked agreeing to be in the wedding party for us! (And yes, lots of mixed-sex couples have done this.)
Instead, we rented a ballroom at an inn in Massachusetts and had basically a New Year’s Eve party with a wedding breaking out in the middle. We walked to the middle of the room in dresses my wife had sewed to Utah Saints’ “Something Good.” We had hoppin’ john for new years’ luck. The Maggie Gallaghers of the world would have hated it. They would have hated any and all alternative arrangements we could have made, too, except of course for calling off the wedding, breaking up, and finding men to marry instead.
So, let these couples in DC have their day, their way. Most of the people who will be there have probably already been married in their hearts for years and can’t get legally recognized soon enough anyway. Don’t we tell our opponents that they don’t have to make the choices we do, just respect our right to make our own choices? Besides, the wedding is only the start of the story. What’s far more important is the way a marriage ends.
Jim Burroway
February 26th, 2010
Really? Seriously people?
It’s a publicity stunt put on by a large events company as a publicity stunt to exploit a a hard-fought freedom. And that “wonderful” article? Yes, it’s wonderful because it’s a press release put out by the stunt’s organizers.
But then, if you grew up dreaming of exchanging your vows with your lover as part of a crass commercial promotion, not to exchange vows of lifelong live and support but to have the chance to be temporarily in the Guinness Book of World Records, only to be superseded by the next Moonie-style stunt that comes along a few years later, then who am I to judge? After all, as I said, thousands of people do something like that every year in Vegas. To each his own, which, as I said, is what we’re fighting for, I guess.
Burr
February 26th, 2010
When we extol the financial virtues of marriage equality, I figured a lot of that included “crass commercial promotions.”
Here’s another example of that to get up in arms about..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-green/dc-jeweler-set-for-gay-ma_b_469488.html
Jim Burroway
February 26th, 2010
There’s a huge difference between marketing to LGBT people and exploiting them for a publicity stunt to tout what a great events company Events Emissary is for pulling it off. I’m very surprised you have trouble seeing the difference.
GreenEyedLilo
February 26th, 2010
A lot of straight women, as well as bi women like myself, will tell you that the ever-growing collection of industries I like to call Big Matrimony has happily exploited people for a while now.
Burr
February 26th, 2010
Isn’t the jeweler just exploiting it to tout what a great jeweler they are?
I fail to see what makes a “gay wedding ring” as opposed to a straight one, after all..
Christine
February 27th, 2010
I imagine most (or perhaps I’m just hoping that most) of the couples actually getting married are doing this because they want to get married (independently of the world record status) and will experience the ceremony itself as beautiful, wonderful, affirming, and/or spiritual (even though the event is being exploited for publicity by another group). Some of these people will experience the ceremony as even more meaningful than they might in a smaller ceremony, because they will share this moment with so many others who, like themselves, have waited so long for this moment. To them, I wish a lifetime of love and growth in their marriages.
I do worry that some of those getting married in this event will do this only to be part of a world record – those people (if they exist, and I think they probably do) do indeed cheapen marriage (just like those in similar heterosexual mass ceremonies do). Those people will most likely get divorced because they got married for the wrong reason (yes, I think there are wrong reasons to get married – I think this is one of them).
I think criticism of the latter group of people who participate in this for world record status only is valid, as is the criticism of the group(s) who make such abuses of marriage more likely.
Clay
February 27th, 2010
With the Moonies’ record of mass weddings, the Washington Times won’t be able to mock in any case.
AdrianT
February 27th, 2010
I support the people behind this – we should be fghting for individual freedom, to keep the state and other people from interfering in others’ private arragements. Including this.
Gay people should not have to be on their best behavior any more than straights.
If we start worrying about tiptoe-ing around other people’s precious feelings, so as not to offend them, then you may as well ask girls in Kabul andf Karachi to cover themselves up again ‘so as not to cause any trouble’.
Why everyone quakes with fear about Maggie Gallagher I do not know. Marriage equality proponents should be terrifying voters with a vision of America if Prop8 supporters like FRC have their way: not just on gay rights. A Christo-fascist theocracy (see Chris Hedges’ writings on that). stripping of gay rights is just one part of that.
And now that Maggie Gallagher has stood by someone who quoted Leviticus, and stood on the same podium as Tony Perkins, she may as well shut up. She has no leg to stand on.
paul j stein
February 27th, 2010
Today I’m glad I didn’t get married to my former spouse. Instead of just packing his crap and wishing him well I would have been calling a lawyer and loosing my ass. I will miss his kids though. Still keeping the life insurance on him in force for the girls. 3 years together and then this……
GreenEyedLilo
February 27th, 2010
@ AdrianT: Well put. Why worry about the respect of people who aren’t worth *our* respect?
@ paul j stein: That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Also just like mixed-sex couples, our relationships can end badly.
Richard W. Fitch
February 27th, 2010
It is not my habit to promote or campaign for other people, but this caught my attention and I feel it is worth sharing and to hope you will consider participating.
Jon and Greg live in the Wash DC area and are engaged to be married this fall. They have entered a contest with Crate and Barrel for a magnificent wedding gift. Currently they are in 2nd place with a wide margin between them and 3rd but a narrow margin between 1st and 2nd. The top couple is already married. In order to accommodate L/G couples, the contest is open to those planning commitment ceremonies. Well……this couple says they now want to have a commitment ceremony. The fellow is on the police force of Chicago. Some of the comments on their site include rousing encouragement to “Vote early and vote often”. Not knowing how strictly the contest is being monitored, this could be a detriment to J & G. My hope is that as many of you as are supportive of their union and our cause for gay marriage well vote soon. The contest ends at midnight on March 31. Share this with your friends. Read Jon’s blog. Let’s be sure people know that there are L/G couples who are serious regarding equality under the law and wish to be truly *married* couples.
Jonathan’s Blogspot
http://www.jrh456.blogspot.com/
Crate and Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest Link to Vote
http://www.jrh456.blogspot.com/
Richard W. Fitch
February 27th, 2010
OOPPSS! Wrong link for the contest:
http://ultimateweddingcontest.com/entries/22682
This just seemed a good second perspective for the discussion of gay weddings! Hope y’all help! THNX!
RWG
February 28th, 2010
Mr. Burraway…stop being such a stick-in-the-mud! Not only is this mass wedding a good idea, bringing some much needed lightness to an often depressing topic, but the publicity from this event will, IMO, be good for the movement toward marriage equality. I only wish they were holding it on the steps of the US Capital Building, just to get the message across to our bone-headed Congress critters. It sounds to me like you’re living in fear.
johnathan
February 28th, 2010
Richard, perhaps I am wrong, but as I interpret the rules/regulations of the contest, the couple with the highest number of public votes doesn’t necessarily win the contest. See http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/rules. Nevertheless, I registered and voted for Jon and Greg. Best of luck. (Also, if anyone intends to vote aggressively… remember Crate and Barrel will disqualify any voter [and votes] who votes more than once from the same email address.)
paul j stein
March 1st, 2010
The best way to get the “marriage Issue” handled is to get the lawyers involved..A new funding source for litigation. As we all know way too well, politicians start out as lawyers and then go into appointments as judges, or elected into political office. We need to get in on the ground floor with lawyers representing gay and lesbian clients. Then they have a easily tracked record that can be used later when they are in office or on the bench. Think like a southern Republican senator/congressman keeping the secrets of the “brotherhood”. Blackmail/reminding someone of what is at stake,for all involved isn’t such a bad thing.
James
March 2nd, 2010
Naye, homos what is your problem? Did you really any glimmer of hope anywhere in Uganda?
I am sorry for you.
James
MUK
Jimmy
March 2nd, 2010
They probably just wanted to hurry up and get married before the FRC, NOM, and the Mormon church dump a billion dollars into the local political machine and snatch their rights away again. Anymore it’s like you have to wait outside the courtroom with the ring hovering just over the fingertip of your loved one to jamb it on quick before they (the politicians/judges/electorate) change their minds.
Jason D
March 4th, 2010
Jim I’m not sure I agree that the nudist wedding is on the same plane as the mass wedding or an Elvis quickie wedding.
From reading the article you linked to, these people are nudists (naturists?), they live their lives this way. So it would follow that a couple that eschews clothing would do so at their wedding.
I don’t see what qualifies their wedding as a stunt. You’d have a strong point if these were not nudists who had a nude wedding as some sort of performance art thing to get attention.
I mean, saying it’s a stunt for nudists to have a nude wedding is like saying it’s a stunt for jews to have a jewish wedding, or for a couple of Japanese descent having a traditional japanese wedding ceremony.
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