Box Turtle Bulletin

Really, the parents, teachers, and administrators involved are miserable people. It is sick enough to see their treatment of Constance, but then to see them send the two disabled to the fake prom also- what kind of message does that send people? Disgraceful.

justsearching

Are they really so oblivious to the opinions of the world outside of their town? Do they realize how they look? Or are they naive stupid fish swimming around in a homophobic fishbowl?

Regan DuCasse

I could cry, I really could. But they’d be the angriest tears you ever saw of the treatment, the SAVAGE SPITE directed at Constance and the other children.

That ADULTS would engage in this kind of viciousness isn’t any better than that of the adolescents they are charged with teaching.

Fortunately, I know DECENT Christians, from people like this.
Decent PEOPLE don’t engage in spite. DECENT people support Constance because she is a GOOD STUDENT and on the verge of taking that goodness into the adult world she will soon inhabit.

Decent people don’t set up an entire charade to further humiliate a young person who wanted to have fun like her peers. She did, after all, like the good girl that she is, ask permission and gave her school opportunity to be prepared for her girlfriend as her date and her intentions on what to wear (still a formal outfit).
It would have all been so simple and without fanfare and national attention.

No, this is a serious, direct and the meanest campaign against a STUDENT I’ve ever seen.
While the news has been focused on beautiful Phoebe Prince, a young girl who committed suicide after brutal bullying, to see a school board and other adults engage in similar conduct is frightening.

And they deserve the spotlight to be shone on them for the ugly, ignorant trash they are.

AJD

The Facebook page is HILARIOUS! One derisive comment after another. Itawamba is quickly becoming the subject of nationwide ridicule.

Timothy Kincaid

It only takes one, a single solitary individual soul, one person with decency and compassion. Just one person could have blown this cover and exposed the farce.

One single person in all of Fulton who was decent.

I’m reminded of the story of Sodom. Not the “sin” part, but the bargaining part.

In the story, God comes down to talk to Abraham about His plan to destroy the city. Abraham thinks it is unfair to kill the good folk with the bad and makes a deal: if there are 100 good folk, then the city is spared.

But he doesn’t stop, he keeps bargaining. Finally, Abraham gets God to agree not to destroy Sodom if He can find 10 good people.

But there were not 10 decent people in all of Sodom. He only found Lot and his family.

Truly, Fulton is worse than Sodom. God came looking this past weekend for people with character, charity, and hospitality and found none. Not one.

TampaZeke

but, but, but….there’s NO similarities between the gay and black civil rights movement. It’s supposed to be insulting to THE Civil Rights Movement (TM) to even suggest such a thing.

And JUSTSEARCHING, as a native Mississippian I can tell you without hesitation or reservation that the answer to your question is a resounding NO, they don’t get it. I didn’t get it until I moved away. You don’t understand how marinated these kids are in their parents’ and grandparents’ and great-great-great grandparents’ ideology and worldview. They see EVERYONE outside of their country, Southern region and even State, as “OTHER”, dangerous and a threat to their way of life. Hell, even people outside of their socioeconomic grade, their PARTICULAR congregation and certainly their race are threats. These kids have never known anything different in their communities. Thankfully the internet is exposing them to more of the outside world but still, once they leave their computer they are bombarded again with the idea that they are special and the “outside” world is out to destroy them.

I grew up in Oxford, a university town, so I was exposed, more than most, to people from other cultures, countries and religions, but even still I was marinated in bigotry and hate. I never realized just how much until I moved away; and I didn’t exactly move to a bastion of progressivism here in Florida. Even still it has been a real eye opener.

I think things will eventually change but it will take a VERY long time. Most of the people who could effect change move away the first chance that they get so that they can have a life. It will take strong and courageous people indeed to stay behind, make the sacrifice and fight for change in these places. They will need all the support they can get from people outside of their communities.

Treat the gays and special needs kids like social outcasts? Now that’s the way to show the love of Christ to them, by God! Jesus would be proud. /sarc

TampaZeke

Timothy, it’s more like the story of Sodom than you realize since the “sin” of Sodom was a shameful lack of hospitality and exclusion of outsiders from the community. The prophet Ezekiel (my namesake) makes this clear.

TampaZeke

I think there’s at least one really good thing that will come of this. In fact, the more I think about it this could very well be the absolutely BEST thing that could have happened in the long run.

The judge ruled that Constance’s constitutional rights were violated. He said that he would schedule a trial to address it. He refused to impose an injunction against the school for not holding an inclusive prom BECAUSE a privately sponsored prom had been scheduled that would have supposedly been inclusive.

Can you imagine how furious he is going to be now that he has been played the fool and the school, with full knowledge of his ruling, went to these great lengths to not only act so shamelessly but also to spit in his face and into the face of the constitution?

I think the bigots of Fulton have just shot themselves in the head. This act that they are so proud of may be the very thing that pushes gay rights forward in the state.

The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways. Not that I believe in a “Lord”, but you know what I’m getting at.

TampaZeke

Pam’s House Blend, another of my favorite sites, has a picture from the prom’s facebook with an African-American girl smiling and posing for pictures. How unbelievably sad that she doesn’t even realize how ignorant and shameful her actions are.

I graduated a number of years after integration but when my brother went to his prom, a year or two after integration, African-American students either had to have their own prom or they had no prom at all.

The story that was told here about the fake prom set up for the African-American girl was repeated hundreds of times in hundreds of communities across the South.

Of course these young black kids in Fulton won’t be taught about this in their history classes, or even in their civics classes. But what the hell’s wrong with these kids’ parents and grandparents who LIVED it for not telling them about this shameful history? Why did THEY not tell their kids that they couldn’t (or at least shouldn’t) support such a vile demonstration of segregation and bigotry?

And Regan, I just have to say this. You have consistently been my FAVORITE commenter on the internet. I always find your comments to be the most insightful, thoughtful and informed in any discussion. Please keep speaking up.

Paul in Canada

Itawamba – should be the new slang term for hateful, bigoted ignorance!

Grant

This is just awful. That adults were involved in this – and you can’t tell me no school staff knew about this too. I’m without words.

I so hope this ends up on the national news.

SHAME on these people!

David

“One single person in all of Fulton who was decent.”

These kids will be paying for this for the rest of their lives. Any time they apply for a job, for anything other than a little mom-pop employer, HR will google their name, their high school and their town, and discover that these kids pose a serious HR risk – likely to create issues for GLBTQ and disabled co-employees that would put the company at risk for ‘hostile workplace’ lawsuits – and someone else, from a different town and a different high school, will get the job.

Imagine being the parents of one of the special needs students. These kids weren’t in any way a part of the controversy yet were treated like crap by their whole school just to stick it to the gay girl. Given the small size of this podunk town, that’s most of the folks who knew or participated in crapping all over special needs kids. Now I’m sure this had nothing to do with those kids but they sure as hell got caught up in it because of the bigotry and hatred of these despicable folks who didn’t give a damn who they hurt as long as the dyke got it too.

Jason D

wow. That’s just beyond words cruel.

Seems to me that Constance, and her fellow fake-prom attendees are the only decent people in that town. May they find their happiness elsewhere.

Candace

Now, the anti-gay don’t-let-the-dyke-come-to-our-prom spew is exepcted from people like this: what surprised me was that learning-disabled children were sent to the fake prom along with The Gay. THAT has got to be one of the most vile, hate-filled things I’ve ever seen. Yes, LD children are made fun of and tormented day in and day out by arrogant fellow students, but the “Itawamba” bigots have taken hatred to a whole new level with this.

I can understand a bigoted, moronically stupid (but think they’re soooo clever) conspiracy of silence among parents and teachers to screw over The Gay, but parents and teachers –TEACHERS– who stood by silently while learning-disabled children were invited to the fake prom? What is WRONG with an educator or parent who would condone something like that? Wasn’t there A SINGLE ONE OF YOU who would stand against it?

Fulton, you have forever placed your city solidly within the ranks of evil.

Lindoro Almaviva

Goes to prove that for the uneducated, high school (and its immature attitudes) never ends. I expected the students to try to pull a move like this but I can not believe that the parents were involved in it. I hope those parents see big repercussions in their friends cycle. I hope they and their kids are shunned, the businesses boycotted, loose friends and club memberships left and right.

I hope they feel in themselves the same pain and humiliation they inflicted in everyone of those people they labeled freaks.

Lindoro Almaviva

Someone in the page has posted contact info for the superintendent of schools in Itawamba TeresaMcNeece:

tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms

And for Itawamba Agricultural High School principal Trae Wiygul:

twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms

Maybe there should be a campaign to let them know what we thing of their actions.

yadid

I look at the aboce picture of the three girls, and it immediately brought to my mind those mean stepsisters of Cinderella. Pitiful.

Burr

That the learned disabled children were treated the same way is just the icing on the cake of hate.

This definitively proves that ALL bigotry is the same. These aren’t “good Christians” standing up for their values. I don’t see anything in the Bible that says you should treat the disabled like this!

Yeek

This kind of worked out for the best, given the character of the people involved.

If the school hosts a party, then everyone matriculating at that school should be allowed to bring a date of their own choosing (of course with some reasonable rules regarding behavior in place).

If there’s a private party, then the “freedom of association” policy applies (which also means freedom from association). They are perfectly allowed to shun, be hateful, be cruel, be unkind, be dishonorable.

And the rest of us are within our rights to ridicule and condemn them in turn.

So it looks like everyone’s rights remain intact, even if some have been treated cruelly, others have debased their integrity for the sake of a party, and the rest are disgusted.

Katzen

This trick is horrible to play on anyone, be they gay, LD, black, non-Christian, etc. Truly cruel.

However, I am a little wary of everyone seemingly putting Constance on a pedestal. I’ve read a few of her classmates’ defensive comments, and they all seem to mention that she’s probably not a real lesbian and is doing this -all of this- for attention and praise. While I realize that it’s more likely they’re just saying this to justify their actions… it’s also entirely possible that it’s true. I knew a girl like that when I was younger. On the outside, she seemed entirely genuine whenever she went on the free trips or accepted rewards for being a courageous high school “lesbian”, but actually… those of us who knew her knew she was sleeping with scores of men, only seemed to sleep with women when she was drunk (even the girls she dated), and always had a boyfriend on the down-low. She was “playing the lesbian card” because it gained her local attention, lots of friends, and free stuff. Not exactly someone you want to represent the lesbian community, especially with the whole ex-gay and gay-choice issue brewing.

I know this is playing devil’s advocate, but I wonder… what will the gay community do if these classmates are right about her? What if our new “leader” is suddenly not a lesbian anymore once she gets older? Won’t look good for our born-that-way and it’s-not-a-phase cases at all. We’ve been pretty one-sided with all this. Is it really such a good idea to tout a teenager as one of our new leaders like this?

Burr

Regardless of her motives, nothing justifies their over the top reaction. If they really thought it was a load of bull, they should have called her bluff..

David

“Iâ€™ve read a few of her classmatesâ€™ defensive comments, and they all seem to mention that sheâ€™s probably not a real lesbian and is doing this -all of this- for attention and praise. ”

Are you completely unfamiliar with the concept ‘consider the source’?

How pray tell are her classmates able to better know what goes on inside her head than she is?

You are repeating a standard homophobic talking point, engaged in the stereotypical, hetero-sexist tactic of denying the validity of testimony coming from GLBTQ people about our own lives.

Please stop feigning sincerity.

Katzen

First of all? I’m a lesbian myself. I’ve just experienced a lot of the LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) phenomena around me. Most of the “lesbian” women I knew in high school and college became suddenly straight when they left school. Some pretended to be lesbian to attract men, some did it because they were honestly confused, some did it for attention, and some did it to rebel against their parents. A variety of reasons, but most of them hurt us lesbians who honestly aren’t attracted to men. It’s one of the reasons that lesbianism isn’t taken as seriously: many people know a girl who claimed that label but then found “the right guy”, or who claimed the label but “need sex with men”. Really irritating because those are the exact things used against lesbian women.

And I acknowledged that her classmates could just be using that as an excuse, but they also might not be. How do we know what she’s really like? None of us know her personally. She really could be trying to get attention, as teenagers are known to do. It’s really hard to trust a child her age with any identity because teenagers are known for adopting and trying on many identities. But here people are, praising this creature in change as a lesbian leader.

And you’re right that no one knows what’s going on in her head: that means us, included.

Lynn David

Just sad. Especially sad that their parents and the school conspired to demean and belittle a student – in short to bully her.

TampaZeke

So Katzen, did you see the pictures from the “real” prom? You know, the one with one girl sticking her tongue in another girl’s mouth. What would the good people of Mississippi call THAT? Real lesbian? Playing lesbian? Whatever they call it they let them go to the “good” people’s prom.

I don’t think Constance’s lesbianism is the PRIMARY issue here. The issue is that this is the way the people of Fulton treat people that they perceive to be lesbian, or acting lesbian. Are you trying to assert that the people would treat her better if she were a REAL lesbian?

Your being a lesbian doesn’t get you special insight into the way rural Mississippians think and act. I’m a Mississippian and I’ll assure you that I know the mindset of these people better than you and whether or not she is a real lesbian, or just acting lesbian, would not make a bit of difference in how she is treated. Now, if she were a Barbie Doll pretty blond cheerleader who just made out with another pretty girl to look cool and to entertain the boys, THAT might be deemed acceptable. Actually loving another girl, or actually dating another girl, or even pretending to actually love another girl, THAT is totally unacceptable.

Emily K

Let’s not dump on Katzen just because she’s positing a point some people hope is untrue. I certainly hope it’s untrue. But it’s also valid. Hell, there are women in their 20’s and 30’s who are secure and sure of their sexuality as gays and then will date a man. It happens. I believe it happens in the other direction, too. Female sexuality is different from male sexuality.

For me, it doesn’t matter if Constance is bisexual, or gay, or “confused” (hell, I was still confused at that age, and I had been out as queer for a couple years!) It only matters that she’s true to herself and honest with everyone. And if being honest that way is what gets you into trouble, that’s a problem.

Jason D

“‘I know this is playing devilâ€™s advocate, but I wonderâ€¦ what will the gay community do if these classmates are right about her? What if our new â€œleaderâ€ is suddenly not a lesbian anymore once she gets older?”

First, this is the first I’ve heard of anyone calling Constance a “leader”. It takes quite a bit of actual leadership before someone earns that title. Constance is certainly well on her way, but one thing is for certain, she is a really brave woman.

Secondly, whether or not these classmates are right does not justify anything that has transpired. Not the actions of the school, the students, the parents, or the teachers. It certainly doesn’t justify how Constance has been treated, nor does it justify how the other outcasts were treated by not being invited to the ghost prom.
Regardless of her motives, she’s the victim, she was discriminated against, she was excluded and shunned for her sexuality. If she had/has ulterior motives that doesn’t suddenly make everything that has transpired acceptable and absolutely does not suddenly give the jerks in her town the moral high ground. Indeed, if Constance is just some mean jerk, then the town has stooped to her level.

“Wonâ€™t look good for our born-that-way and itâ€™s-not-a-phase cases at all. Weâ€™ve been pretty one-sided with all this. Is it really such a good idea to tout a teenager as one of our new leaders like this?”

Seems like you’re more interested in discrediting Constance than you are about having a useful discussion. You have vague hearsay, no actual facts to go on. What is not up for debate is the fact that Constance wanted to wear a tux and take her girlfriend. What is not up for debate is that she was told she could not do so. What is not for debate is that she took her case to the public. What is not up for debate is that the school decided to cancel the prom rather than let a student enjoy their prom. What is not up for debate is that a secret prom was planned and executed by possibly the most selfish, myopic, and cruel town I’ve ever heard of which not only excluded Constance, but several other students.

penguinsaur

Well the scenario is either: Constance, her girlfriend *who strangely I don’t even know the name of, must be avoiding all the attention* and the trans kid who was run out of that town earlier are all faking for attention.

Mississippi is full of bigoted rednecks.

I know where I’m betting my money

Deanna

What they’ve done will give their town a bad name for decades to come. I’m in a city that was where outsiders from the American Nazi Party tried to make its headquarters 50 years ago, over the objections of the vast majority of the city. We STILL have the reputation of being a town of bigots, even though it was never true. I keep hearing how we were the birthplace of the John Birch Society (no, that was in Indiana), and made-up “facts” like how we supposedly had 10PM curfews for all blacks until the mid-1990s. And that’s for a reputation that we DIDN’T deserve.

So fifty years from now, Fulton, Mississippi will still be remembered. Even restaurant reviews in 2060 for restaurants in Fulton will start by talking about the infamous bigotry of 2010 before giving a review of the food. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren of the Class of 2010 will be asking them why people from other towns make fun of them from being from Fulton. And it will serve them right.

Jason D

Deanna, It’s not just that. Remember we’re in the internet age and this story is huge. The pictures are everywhere, as are direct quotes from her classmates.

So, in a few years when these brats get out of college and are applying for jobs, potential employers are going to see all this stuff (if they missed it the first time), if they don’t remember the unique name “Itawamba Agricultural High School” in the first place. They may not even get a chance to explain their side, they may just not get the job period. Or they may have to answer for this for the rest of their lives.

What seems like a good idea as a teenager, turns out to be a bad idea later on in life. Previous generations had the luxury of NOT having their mistakes broadcast to the world, and parents who would’ve been smart and compassionate enough to know this secret prom was a very, very, very stupid and cruel idea. Hope those parents aren’t planning on changing jobs or moving out of state any time soon because this won’t help them either.

Wow. This is so fundamentally disgusting it’s compelled me to make the transition from lurker to poster.

I’m not homosexual. But I am physically handicapped, so I can say from experience that this kind of discrimination towards any group of any kind, based on any characteristic whatsoever, is something that still hits very close to home for me. The idea that this kind of social ostracism still exists in America today is something I find absolutely unforgivable.

I don’t care who the person in question is, and I don’t care what about them is considered ‘different’ or ‘abnormal’– discrimination of any and every kind is unconscionable. It can’t be excused, justified or handwaved off if we ever want to live in a society that truly exhibits the acceptance and tolerance so many of us preach for so stridently.

The point is, the fact that we still have places in America where people are treated like the village lepers and shuttled off somewhere in solitude to keep them away from everyone else is shameful, and saddens me deeply. I can only hope that the merciless backlash these kids are currently receiving will do something to open their eyes. But as other posters here have said, the cloistered nature of communities in places like Mississippi makes that unlikely. Still, I can hope for the best.

Geekydee

Just one question: Why doesn’t the ACLU sue on behalf of the learning disabled kids under ADA? Aren’t they an actual protected group? Just wondering is all…

http://nems360.com/view/full_story/6946554/article-UPDATE–McMillen-attends-sparse-Itawamba-prom?instance=home_news_1st_left

Check out the comments on this found at Itawamba County News:

http://itawamba360.com/view/full_story/6773684/article-Letters-to-the-Editor?instance=secondary_stories_left_column

http://itawamba360.com/view/full_story/6905807/article-Letters-to-the-Editor?instance=lead_story_left_column

David

“First of all? Iâ€™m a lesbian myself. ”

So you say, Katzen, but you’ve decided to determine that other women are faking it, how can anyone trust you? If their word about their feelings is suspect, so is yours. Once you challenged Constance’s accuracy about something only she can know, your own integrity went into the garbage can.

In my experience, the only people who actually believe the “LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation)” myth are straight boys. All – absolutely every – lesbian I’ve met personally has indicated that she was offended by the idea, particularly the way it discards women’s ability to know their own minds, bodies and sexuality.

“LUG” is a hetero-boy’s fantasy foisted onto lesbians to dismiss them and subjugate them.

It doesn’t matter whether Constance really is a lesbian, is bisexual or perhaps is experimenting. I do not know this girl and as irrelevant as it is to the main issue she certainly wouldn’t be the first to experiment if she isn’t really a lesbian. It also matters squat whether she is an “attention whore” as some of her fellow students have accused on other blogs in defending their private prom. What matters is that Constance, like every other American, has the right to equal access and protection under the 14th Amendment without facing discrimination because of her real or perceived sexual orientation. That’s the main issue here. IAHS violated her constitutional rights by refusing to allow her to bring a female date to the prom until their hand was forced by the courts. School administrators may have compounded the problem by assisting with this private prom to avoid complying with the court’s order. I’ll leave that to the court to decide the facts on that. Yet what the community did to Constance was morally repugnant and the antithesis of what Christianity is supposed to be about. Their behavior was even worse in that their seeking to punish Constance, 2 special needs kids as well as 3 others were also publically shamed in the eyes of their fellow students as well as the entire town because they ended up at the “rejects” prom. Words cannot adequately describe how despicable and anti-Christian this was. In supposedly trying to keep the Gospel they violated the heart and soul of it.

Rob