Bachmann Won’t Run

Jim Burroway

May 29th, 2013

This nearly nine minute video somehow, as if by magic, will feel like it sucked nine hours out of your life. So here’s what she said in a nutshell:

[Heroic background music] I will not running again in 2014. I could run, and I’d totally kick his ass if I did, but I just don’t feel like it. But if I did, I’d win. Totally.

And this has noting to do with that ethics investigation into my presidential campaign finances either. Which is totally bogus.

So yeah. I’d win. I ain’t chicken. Just don’t feel like running. Obama’s not running again, and he’s a socialist dictator.

And… Traditional marriage. Family Values. Obamacare. Margaret Thatcher. Ronald Reagan. Soviet Union. Socialism. Dodd-Frank. Muslim Jihad. Political correctness. Evil Jihadists. Israel. Iran. Benghazi. IRS. Balanced budget. Destruction of our entire economic system. Mainstream media. Dishonest mainstream media. Disparaging mainstream media. My wonderful husband. God. Jesus. Blessings. Fortitude. Blessed Nation. God Bless. God. God. God.

And more pork for my district. And I’ll still be crazy for the next 18 months. And I’ll keep being crazy long after I’m gone.

Neil

May 29th, 2013

What a shame. She’s one of the best clowns in the car.

tim

May 29th, 2013

And more pork for my district

Wait wut? You really don’t know her or her district do you?

During the last election – my talking points to the wingnuttier parts of my family to get them to not vote for her was that she sucked as a legislator and the district deserved someone who could properly represent them in Congress. She failed time and time again to bring anything back to the district and is not the sponsor of any legislation that had any chance of actually becoming law at some point. She should of been kicked out for gross incompetence not for her idiotic views.

jpeckjr

May 29th, 2013

“And, besides all of that, I have discovered I can make a great deal more money being a keynote speaker at events all over the country. Lots more money. I mean, really lots more money.”

Bernie Keefe

May 29th, 2013

Don’t turn your back on this wily one, she is up to something.

Priya Lynn

May 29th, 2013

Hilarious paraphrase! No doubt you accurately captured what she was really saying.

TampaZeke

May 29th, 2013

She’ll have her own show on Fox News before her House seat gets cold!

cd

May 30th, 2013

Oh, she’s discovered that Prominent Right Wing Culture Warrioress is a pretty good gig and an easy one. A lot less complicated and less work than this Elected Representative thing. As demonstrated by Peggy Noonan, Sarah Palin, Maggie Gallagher, Anne Coulter, Phyllis Schlafly, etc. In these circles being a crackpot is not a bug, it’s a mandatory feature. After all, they’re getting paid to try to keep crazy normalized in society.

There’s still life in the anti-gay thing for a couple of years but they’re all fishing around for The Next Big Thing. The best guess seems to be that this will be ‘religious freedom’.

MattNYC

May 30th, 2013

You do realize that the average IQ of Congress may go up as high as 10 points when she’s gone, right? Although Steve King and Steve Stockman are doing their best to prevent that…

MattNYC

May 31st, 2013

Dang. That Andy Borowitz beat me to that…

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/congress-average-iq-expected-to-rise-in-2014.html

Jeffrey

June 1st, 2013

Marcus is searching right now for a place to stash his gay porn! All the praying in the world is not going to pray THAT gay away!

Josh

June 2nd, 2013

It’s impressive how confident she can be when she says or implies so many things that reflect terribly on her and her party. I’ll paraphrase.

“No, it’s not that I’m afraid I’d lose the next election. I only ran last time because I was really afraid another Republican would’ve lost. And I was so hoping last election cycle that Republicans would win the Senate and Presidency. But, well, you know….

No, it’s not because there are inquiries into my presidential campaign’s finances. No, it’s not that I lost my presidential campaign badly. Really, 8 years is enough, it just feels right, because, uh, Presidents do the 8 year thing, and that’s a good number?”

By the way, she says verbatim, “…the law limits anyone from serving as President for more than eight years,” which is wrong. The 22nd amendment lets someone take over as president for up to 2 years and then they can get elected twice for a 10 year total. How did none of her staff nor she herself catch such a basic error? Too busy finding bad background music from the 90’s I suppose….

Anyway, what an idiot. She’s probably a nice enough person one-on-one, but she should never, ever have been making public policy decisions.

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required)
(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

 

Latest Posts

The Things You Learn from the Internet

"The Intel On This Wasn't 100 Percent"

From Fake News To Real Bullets: This Is The New Normal

NC Gov McCrory Throws In The Towel

Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.