The Most Effective Campaign

Timothy Kincaid

June 14th, 2008

The Fresno Bee ran a human interest story about a local florist who plans on marrying his partner of 16 years. Such stories are filling newspapers throughout the state this weekend. But there is one small part of the story that I must share with you.

Renee DeMusiak, 52, the florist shop employee, grew up with the idea that marriage meant only a man and a woman.

“I just always went by the Bible. Mom is mom and dad is dad. I was never really for gays getting married,” she says.

But in November, she plans to vote against the ban and for same-sex marriage.

She had only worked at Chase Flower Shop for two months when her dog got sick and needed expensive medical care.

“Michael gave me his credit card and told me to take care of her,” she says. “I’d never vote against him.”

She says her own search for a mate has been the stuff of blues songs: cheating men, hurt, and true love never arriving.

“I’m struggling to find someone. I see gay couples come in here all the time who have had better luck than me. It’s so important to have someone love you for who and what you truly are,” she says.

“I know religion is really going to come down on this one, but I just don’t think I can be opposed any more. I vote for people to be happy.”

By far the most effective campaign for equality is to live openly with dignity and kindness.

eric marcoux

June 14th, 2008

Yesterday my lover, my husband, my sweet friend celebrated our 55th anniversary. We’ve been fortunate, here in Portland, Oregon, to be able to be out and very visible for some years. We are 78 and 80. We participate in an elder gym class three times a week. Yesterday the entire room sang Happy Anniversary. The guys in the locker room shouted congratulations. And I could safely tell them – to their straight delight – that now that my husband has a pace maker I was expecting electrifying love making from him. Life has been good good good to us consequent on our coming out years ago. I’m impressed by the numbers of straight people who literally rejoice in our long love affair. Love your site.
Eric Marcoux

Ben in Oakland

June 15th, 2008

Good for you, Eric. you’ve been otgether ALMOST as long as I’ve been alive!!! :)

This just underlines the importance ofcoming out. As long as people don’t know who we are, they have the safety of their bigotry.

As Glenda said, “Come out! come out! wherever you are!”


June 15th, 2008

That’s Glinda, with an “i”, queen!


June 16th, 2008

Congratulations, Eric! My partner and I are in our 21st year, and have always been ‘out’ to our friends and neighbors and co-workers. Mind you, we’re not the in-your-face-we’re-queer kinda people, but we don’t make it a secret. Hey, after 21 years, how could it be? We’ve watched our neighbors kids be born, grow up and move away, and hopefully that exposure will help them all be more well-rounded, accepting people.


June 18th, 2008

By far the most effective campaign for equality is to live openly with dignity and kindness.

Amen! Hearts and minds are not changed as much by rhetoric as by simple contact. Simply by living openly, I know I have touched several of my students’ lives. Those are only the ones who have come back to tell me about it in under 2 years. It’s kind of an awesome feeling to know so immediately.

Jason D

June 18th, 2008

“My partner and I are in our 21st year, and have always been ‘out’ to our friends and neighbors and co-workers. Mind you, we’re not the in-your-face-we’re-queer kinda people, but we don’t make it a secret.”

I always think it’s sad when we have to qualify being Out in this fashion.

I guess it comes from the attitude that there is only one way to be Out: running down the street in drag, screaming the lyrics to “Song For The Lonely”, with sparklers on your head, wearing glittery immitations of Dororthy’s ruby slippers. Sure, some folks are like that, but as I like to say “Not all of us can be fabulous”

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