Founder of Desert Stream Complains about Gay Wedding Coverage

Timothy Kincaid

July 11th, 2008

On July 4, the Kansas City Star published an article by Derrik J. Lang with the headline At California’s gay weddings, traditions remain strong. In the article, Lang investigated whether same-sex weddings were similar to opposite-sex weddings and found that gay couples are opting mostly to follow tradition.

Rhodes said most wedding conventions — invitations, music, formal attire, cake, Champagne — are finding their way into the same-sex ceremonies that her full-service wedding and events planning company has been hired for since the California Supreme Court’s ruling in May.

The article didn’t touch on whether gay people should marry or delve into discussions about civil rights, religion, philosophy, politics or other contentious matters that often surround discussions around same-sex marriage.

But nonetheless, this article didn’t sit well with Andrew Comiskey. Comiskey is the ex-gay who founded Desert Stream ministries and will be a keynote speaker for Exodus International’s Freedom Conference next week in Asheville, NC.

He wrote a letter to the editor objecting to the use of certain words when discussing gay unions.

Soothing readers with words like “tradition,” “commitment” and “marriage equality,” Lang tried to normalize the gay marriage experience, even implying that these unions are so authentic, they don’t have to “hide behind a basic ritual.”

They cannot hide, because anyone with common sense knows that a wedding and a marriage celebrates only one thing: the audacious effort of a man and a woman to become one unit for life, a truth lost on the California Supreme Court when it overturned the will of the people and mandated gay marriage last May.

Wordplay matters in the battle for marriage, and Lang showed his hand shamelessly. I urge The Star to opt for more objective reporting on this crucial topic.

Now I’ve seen plenty of anti-gays use snear quotes aroung the words “gay” or “marriage”. But it really takes a truly bigoted mindset to insist that the words “tradition” and “commitment” are the exclusive property of heterosexuality.


July 11th, 2008

Oh, and it’s an “ex-gay” saying this?

Surprise, surprise.

Ben in Oakland

July 11th, 2008

not to mention that it sounds like the article was quite objective– just reporting on what is going on.

Mr. Comiskey is the one who is not being (ahem) straight with his readers.


July 11th, 2008


He’s right that wordplay matters in controversial subjects. The danger of arguing about wordplay is when you start believing that a word has intrinsic value. Ie, that a word gets its definition some absolute source like God, science, or Webster’s. If people think the word “marriage” refers only to heterosexuals than it does. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. A word is defined by the people who use it. Science, religion, and even common sense are irrelevant.


July 12th, 2008

“Now I’ve seen plenty of anti-gays use snear quotes aroung the words “gay” or “marriage”. But it really takes a truly bigoted mindset to insist that the words “tradition” and “commitment” are the exclusive property of heterosexuality.”

Why not? They try to claim they own everything else.


July 13th, 2008

Thankfully, in the United States of America “the will of the people” must submit to the “equal protection of the law.”

Emily K

July 13th, 2008

Why is it that as soon as someone becomes ex-gay they become against everything that would give comfort to the LGBTQ community? It’s like they do a 180°, and then WE have to subsidize it with our suffering.

Garrett O\\\'Neal

July 14th, 2008

Wow, I was a participant for two years in the Desert Stream ministry of Comisky in an attempt to not act on any form of homosexuality. It’s pure brainwashing. The cirriculum and conseling is intensely aimed at breaking a person down to be afraid of one’s own feelings. Comisky and his ministry totally stems from fear…fear of change and fear of not being in control.


July 17th, 2008

Amazing, gay marriage is mandatory in California now ? Thaings HAVE moved on.

Timothy Kincaid

July 17th, 2008

No, KJN, gay marriage is not mandatory anywhere. It is available for those who wish to make solumn vows before their God, their family, and their state, but no one is compelled to marry anyone.


July 18th, 2008

To celebrate the new law we had a wonderful commitment ceremony at a place called pema osel ling.

We had exclusive use of the retreat center, plenty of privacy in the redwoods not too far from SF, with onsite catering- which was fab. They have multiple sites for ceremonies and receptions and do mostly weekend weddings and retreats but can do one day weddings. Wanted to share the good news with folks. Things went perfect! Highly recommend it.


June 4th, 2009

It’s a curious thing to me how cutting and whitty people can get when reacting to someone that opposes their opinion. It seems to me that the raw lack of respect for another’s opinion behind these comments betrays HUGE insecurities and anger issues. Ironically, instead of disproving Comiskey’s points, these hate-charged comments only reflect the integrity of their source. I challenge readers to start owning their own stuff and reply with what you know about yourself instead of taking cheap shots at someone else.

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