Maybe It Was The Line “Galileo Figaro”

Jim Burroway

May 13th, 2011

Dateline Wasilla:

The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman reports today that the principal of Wasilla High School told members of the school’s symphonic jazz choir that they would not be allowed to perform the 1975 Queen song “Bohemian Rhapsody” because Freddy Mercury, who wrote it, was gay.

In the face of student protests, and fearing ACLU involvement, the principal backed down–to a point.

The choir will be allowed to perform the song, but only in a censored version, without lyrics the principal deems objectionable.

In a lame face-saving move, principal Dwight Probasco decided to compromise by banning the lyrics about the singer having “just killed a man.” No word on whether “We Will Rock You” and “We Are The Champions” are allowed at hockey games. Joe McGinniss is having a field day on his blog, including a “separated at birth” photo of Probasco alongside Elton John that you absolutely have to see. His commenters are also getting in the spirit, including one Sandra Tompkins who re-wrote the lyrics of “Bohemian Rhapsody” just for Wasilla and its favorite daughter. It totally needs to go viral:

“Wasillian Rhapsody”

Is this the real life?
Or is it just fantasy?
Caught in the Valley
Not a part of reality…

Open your eyes
We don’t like gay guys
You see…

I’m just like Sarah
I have no empathy
I like Jesus Christ (and Prevo)
I’m hetero, not homo

Anyway my cash grows
That’s what really matters to me
To ME!

Mama.
The Paliban.
Put a gun up to my head.
Pulled the trigger
But I’m not dead.

Mama.
They can’t shoot a gun.
Or else
They would
Have blown my ### away.

Mama, oooo (anyway my cash grows)
Didn’t mean to make you cry
If my chin implant’s not in this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, cause the look is all that matters

It’s too late.
Bin Laden’s gone.
Sends shivers down my spine.
Why can’t the glory all be mine?
Goodbye, everybody, I’ve got to go
To get a nip and tuck so I can face the truth…
Mama, ooo (anyway my cash grows)
I don’t want to lie
I sometimes wish I could tell the truth at all.

(Opera Section)

I’M WEARING LITTLE RED STILETTOS ON MY FEET!

SARAH LOU!

DO YOU THINK

BRISTOL’S SHOW IS LIKE MANDINGO?

BLUNDERS DOLTS INFIGHTING

TELL-ALL BOOKS ENLIGHTENING

ME!

GALLERIA! GALLERIA!
GALLERIA! SHOES FOR ME-A!
GALLERIA! And ZAPPO’S!

MAGNIFICO!

I’m just a poor girl, everybody HATES me!
(SHE’S JUST A POOR GIRL, FIVE SCHOOLS FOR ONE DEGREE!)
McCAIN SPARE US ALL FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!

(Easy come, easy go, rolling in the dough!)

PEPTOBISMOL! NO! IT WILL NOT LET US GO!
(LET ME GO!) PEPTOBISMOL! IT WILL NOT LET US GO!
(LET ME GO!) PEPTOBISMOL! IT WILL NOT LET US GO!
(LET ME GO) WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
(LET ME GO) Will not let you go (let us go) Ah
No no no no no no no
(Oh mama mia, Galleria) mama mia let us go!

Thomas Muthee’s pulled a DEVIL from inside of ME!
From ME!
From ME!
From ME!

(guitar solo)

So you think you can NOMINATE me, then spit in my eye?
So you think Katie Couric’s the apple of your eye?
Oh baby, Barry’s a Kenyan maybe!!!
Just gotta get out
Just get the white vote out of here!

Ooh yeah ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me.

(Anyway my cash grows)

Gong!

Ivan

May 13th, 2011

Someone should tell this guy about Alan Turing to see if he throws out all the school computers or declares Germany winners of WWII.

Regan DuCasse

May 13th, 2011

How do people get THIS dumb, who are teaching children?!

Patrick Hogan

May 13th, 2011

Not to mention how difficult any study of the Rennaissance will be without mentioning Davinci or Michaelangelo, or how much classical music will suffer without Tchaikovsky…

And forget about…well, anything from Hollywood — god knows there’s been at least one gay man key to virtually anything to do with cinema, modern or not.

Snark aside, though: how sad a message they are sending their gay students. “If you’re gay, even if you’re successful and popular, we’ll still reject you and your work simply because you are gay.”

Though, in fairness to Wasilla, my high school in KS is likely no better…

Kith

May 13th, 2011

What I find amusing is that a song about a convicted killer seeking sympathy on his way to his exaction was potentially banned not because of it’s questionable content but because the guy who wrote it might have had teh gey.

Kith

May 13th, 2011

Oh well can’t edit. Went and looked at the linked article. I noticed the line that was edited out was the like about killing a man. So where do we find out if it was the fact that the song starts and ends with murder that was the problem, we know one person complained about sex, but what other complaints where there?

Also should I be worried about the fact that “The whole attitude of the song just seems to fit our class” Because I would like to point out it is a song about a defiant killer on his way to his execution.

Rob in San Diego

May 14th, 2011

“Mama I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s
dead…”

And I thought they were all for 2nd amendment rights?

MJC

May 17th, 2011

Ahem. Principals do NOT get to “edit” the lyrics of copyrighted material at will.

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required)
(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

 

Latest Posts

The Things You Learn from the Internet

"The Intel On This Wasn't 100 Percent"

From Fake News To Real Bullets: This Is The New Normal

NC Gov McCrory Throws In The Towel

Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.