Email of the Day

Jim Burroway

February 10th, 2014

It was a dark and stormy night.

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten one of these. I think his emails have been getting swept into the spam bucket. But this one made it through the gauntlet yesterday, in which Eugene Delgaudio resurrects an oldie but goodie while trying to get his minion to sign his sad little petition and, of course, to send him money.

One stormy night, I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses.  I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn, my eyes nearly popped.  Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry, I went inside.  It was worse than I ever imagined.

Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling.

My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers.  And still more petitions were flying off the press. Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio, what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me.  I’d been recognized.

As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time, Delgaudio, we can’t lose!”

Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right.  This time the Homosexual Lobby could win it all.

I’ve been warned hundreds of thousands of pro-homosexual petitions will soon flood Congress.

And my friends in Congress tell me that the tens of millions of pro-Family Americans have remained virtually silent.

Will you remain silent?

Last summer, Delgaudio was finally disciplined by his fellow conservative boardmembers of the Loudin County (VA) Board of Supervisors. Delgaudio was censured, stripped of his staff and budget, and barred from serving on committees for illegally using taxpayer-paid staff for his anti-gay fundraising activities, although last January he was put back onto the county’s Transportation and Land Use Committee. He is now fighting a court petition by Loudin County residents in his district seeking to have him removed from office.

TampaZeke

February 10th, 2014

Lest anyone forget. This man has been elected and re-elected NUMEROUS times by the people in his Virginia community. His special kind of crazy seems to sell very well in parts of America.

Neil

February 10th, 2014

I’m tempted to envy Mr Delgaudio his easily gained wealth that all he need do is circulate such palpably fictional anecdotes and, homophobic buttons pushed, the donations come flooding in.

Then I realise that to behave in this way is to be either so sadly deluded by paranoid anxiety that his quality of life must be severely diminished, or a most wretchedly cynical person. And I am cured of all envy.

james

February 10th, 2014

Has anyone received their petition yet?

I know I’m on the mailing list for the Homosexual Lobby, but I haven’t gotten my petition yet.

Do you think Eugene might have been delusional, maybe even off his meds? Or, could it be, he just made it up to get donations?

Dan

February 11th, 2014

I’m the President of the Homosexual Lobby, also known as the Supreme Homosexual, and I can assure you that we haven’t sent out a single petition.

Fritz Keppler

February 11th, 2014

I work in his district but don’t live there, so I’m not able to vote against him. By the way, the name of the jurisdiction is Loudoun County, home of Washington-Dulles International Airport.

Stephen

February 11th, 2014

Wait. So it’s good when he claims to send out petitions by the million but it’s bad when the Homosexual Lobby does it?

Is it the ear-rings?

Soren456

February 11th, 2014

Delgaudio’s text continues:

“Not so fast! You’re driving too fast!” said Mrs. Mitty. “What are you driving so fast for?”

Nathaniel

February 11th, 2014

Is it me, or does this story sound like a sexual fantasy? Scared, ‘straight’ guy goes to an isolated warehouse, gets used by the burly gay men, then drives home crying in a sad mixture of guilt and satisfaction. He just left out the good bits of the story.

Ashton

February 13th, 2014

Nathaniel, yes now that you mention it, it does sound like that. My first thought, though, was that the letters and capitalizations made Homosexua Lobby look an awful lot like Hobby Lobby.

Chris McCoy

February 13th, 2014

I didn’t get my petition. Have I been kicked out of the Homosexual Lobby? Am I not homosexual enough?

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required)
(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

 

Latest Posts

The Things You Learn from the Internet

"The Intel On This Wasn't 100 Percent"

From Fake News To Real Bullets: This Is The New Normal

NC Gov McCrory Throws In The Towel

Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.