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“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
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Posts for September, 2009

What’s More Pathetic?

Jim Burroway

September 10th, 2009

California Assemblyman Mike DuvalFormer California Assemblyman Mike Duvall, who resigned following revelations that he bragged to a fellow unidentified Assemblyman about a couple of dripping-wet affairs with women who were not his wife and one of whom might have been a lobbyist regulated by his committee, is now claiming that he didn’t have any affairs after all. In a strangely headlined statement on his web site — “Assemblyman Duvall Denies Reports that he Had Affair,” even though those “reports” came from his own mouth — the Orange County Republican writes:

“I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.”

Whether anyone believes any of this now is utterly beside the point. I mean think about it: what’s more pathetic? A “pro-family” anti-gay politician bragging to colleagues about all the juicy affairs he’s had? Or a “pro-family” anti-gay politician bragging to colleagues about all the juicy affairs he didn’t have?

CA Anti-Gay Assemblyman’s Drippy Disclosure

Jim Burroway

September 9th, 2009

Update: Duvall resigns. See the full update below.

California Assemblyman Mike DuvalA California state assemblyman from Orange County, who strongly supported California’s Prop 8 “so we can end this debate once and for all,” is about to embark on another debate on the meaning of ethics and the sanctity of his own marriage:

[Michael] Duvall, speaking to a relatively mum Republican colleague seated to his left, apparently had no idea his dais microphone became live beginning about a minute before the start of a cable-televised committee hearing. He was captured in the middle of recounting portions of an affair.

“She wears little eye-patch underwear,” said Duvall, who is married with two children. “So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday–a lot! And so she’ll, she’s all, ‘I am going up and down the stairs, and you’re dripping out of me!’ So messy!”

Very classy. According to this highly sensationalistic report from KCAL9, he’s also into spanking. Duvall was given a 100% rating by the Capital Resources Institute for “time and time again, [voting] to protect and preserve family values in California.” But now, not only has Duvall admitted to cheating on his wife, the vice-chair of the Utilities and Commerce committee is boasting of sleeping with a lobbyist for Sempra Energy, one of the state’s largest utilities — a clear ethical violation.

Who knew “family values” could be so much fun?

Update:Duvall has resigned, and apologized — not for actually doing anything wrong, just for bragging about it:

I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.

‘The LA Times reported that the web site also had an apology, but that appears to have been taken down. That apology reportedly said:

I made a mistake and I sincerely apologize. I deeply regret the comments I made in what I believed to be a private conversation. This is a private matter and I ask that everyone respect the privacy of all involved.

So again, he’s not sorry and resigning because he cheated on his wife with at least two other women, nor that he admitted to having sex with a lobbyiest who has business before Duvall’s Utilities and Commerce committee. His only mistake was in talking about it. You know, stuff like this:

“I’m getting into spanking her,” Duvall is heard to say on the videotape.

The other man asks if she likes it, too. Duvall responds: “She goes, ‘I know you like spanking me.’ I said, ‘Yeah, that’s ’cause you’re such a bad girl.”‘

Oh boy, a straight guy into spanking. Paging Porno Pete…