Posts Tagged As: Vail AZ

Heterosexual Menace: Hot for Students

Jim Burroway

May 18th, 2010

I just happened to come across this story during my lunchtime reading of the dead-tree version of the Arizona Daily Star:

Christie Elliot, 25, who coached the cheer squad and taught English at Empire High School, 10701 E. Mary Ann Cleveland Way, for about a year, turned herself in to Tucson police as a result of a three-week investigation into her relationship with a 15-year-old boy.

…Police began investigating April 19 at the behest of the Vail School District after a parent told the Empire High principal that Elliot had been exchanging inappropriate text messages with his son via his iPod Touch. Some of the messages referred to kissing and the “need to be more careful,” according to court documents filed by police.

During the district’s initial investigation, laptop computers issued by the school to staffers and students were confiscated from Elliot and the student, court documents state. Elliot’s computer was found to contain topless pictures of the teacher. It is undetermined whether she sent those photos to students, according to court documents.

Now imagine a different but very similar story, with almost all of the details being identical — a hot 25-year-old teacher sending inappropriate text messages to a 15-year-old male student, the teacher’s school-issued laptop containing topless photos, yadda, yadda, yadda, — except the teacher were a strapping male baseball coach and science teacher.

Do you suppose, as I do, that such a story would more likely appear on the paper’s front page above the fold, instead of being buried deep inside the inner recesses of the local news section like this one was?

This can only mean one thing: Our local newspapers are in collusion with the heterosexual conspiracy. You can learn more about this vast conspiracy in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”


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