Box Turtle Bulletin

Video: Inside “Love Won Out”

Advice Given To Parents
Last weekend, Exodus and Focus On the Family held another Love Won Out conference in Indianapolis, Indiana. If that conference was like the others this past year, it was mostly attended by parents of gays and lesbians, and not so much by gays themselves who are interested in change.

And if that conference was anything like previous conferences, the information those parents heard was something of a mixed bag. It’s easy to focus on the negatives, but it’s also important to recognize that it wasn’t all horribly wrong. Love Won Out speakers were able to offer some advice to parents which might actually be useful to them — at least in terms of trying to keep the lines of communications open with their children.

All Gay People Have Been Sexually Violated
While Love Won Out offers some examples of useful information to parents, other examples can be quite damaging. Here, Jim Burroway discusses one parent’s reaction to hearing Melissa Fryrear say she had never met a lesbian or gay man who hadn’t been abused.

See also:

The “Love Won Out” Series:
Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word “Change” Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For “Change”

Religious Right Soft On “Crime”

Wanna know what’s wrong with Focus On the Family or the Southern Baptist Convention? According to Jim Rudd of the Christian Street Preachers Alliance, they’ve gone soft:

After confronting people out on the street with what the Word of God says and then reading what is happening in the news, I have to ask the question, “Why are the pro-family groups having such a hard time discussing the crime of sodomy?” What has become evident to me is the fact that most of these groups do not publicly address sodomy as a crime and then demand that our civil authorities arrest, prosecute, and punish the sodomites.

…

Many pro-family groups are capitulating to the false notion that “gay rights,” in fact, exist and therefore, are not maintaining their focus on addressing the truth that sodomy is a crime.

Consequently, these groups are now finding themselves in protracted, defensive strategies while criminals are allowed to sodomize each other and members of society with impunity.

That was in 2001. His views haven’t changed much since then:

Civil officials have a God ordained duty to execute sodomites.

Hat Tip: Ed Brayton, from Dispatches From the Culture Wars.

Rubber Band Therapy

Yes, there really is such thing as “Rubber Band Therapy.” It was popularized in ex-gay circles by Bill Consiglio’s book, Homosexual No More. You’re suppose to wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever you see a hot guy walking by. Or whenever you imagine a hot guy walking by. Or just whenever:

Every time you catch yourself watching someone erotically or engaging in fantasy, snap the band. This will cause a moderate stinging pain, which serves as a shocking reminder of what you are doing. This should help you interrupt the spell. (p. 90)

It doesn’t work. Go figure. Here’s the latest from Wayne Besen’s Truth Wins Out:

Excerpt from Consiglio’s book courtesy of Wayne Besen.

“Homo No Mo” Comes To Denver This Weekend

Peterson Toscano is performing his signature play “Doin’ Time In The Homo No Mo Halfway House” this weekend here in Denver.

Sunday, November 4 @ 7:00pm
MCC Of The Rockies
980 Clarkson, Denver 80218

ADMISSION IS FREE

Ireland to offer Same-Sex Relationship Recognition

Parts of Europe have provided some recognition and protection for same-sex couples for about a decade. Currently three countries (in green) provide marriage equality while many more (in red) offer various secondary protections ranging from civil unions that are identical to marriage down to limited property rights.

As discussed recently, Austria is considering civil union protections. And Sweden will soon be converting their Registered Partnerships to Marriage.

Now from the Belfast Telegraph comes word that Ireland has given a time frame for their long promised legislation on same-sex partner recognition.

The Government is promising to bring in legislation next year recognising civil partnerships among same-sex couples.

The new law will also allow heterosexual couples to form legal arrangements without the requirement of marriage.

There is no word yet as to the extent of the bill but it is likely to be far less than the civil unions bill proposed by the opposition party.

Just Leave Out the Icky Part

What would you do if there was a charming little story about an orphan kid who thought he was a Martian? You’d make it into a movie, of course.

But what if this was a family movie and one of the characters was gay? Oh, you’d just remove that icky part, of course. Does it matter if the story is semi-autobiographical and based on a the difficulties of being a gay father to an adopted son with serious abandonment issues? Nah, just make him straight. It’s much cuddlier.

From Vue Weekly:

Really, how can you not love a little boy orphan who truly believes he’s from Mars and travels inside of an Amazon.com cardboard box with the warning “FRAGILE: Handle with care” on it? David Gordon (John Cusack) certainly can’t. In fact, this celestial orphan named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) might be the perfect match for science fiction writer David.

That is the sole premise of Martian Child, based on the award-winning novelette by, and about, sci-fi author David Gerrold and his experiences as a single adoptive dad. The only major difference is this family film leaves out the part where David is gay, and instead makes him a widower with an attractive “friend,” Harlee, played by Amanda Peet.

Awww. How sweet.

Maybe he and his father can go to a Save Marriage rally in the movie as well. Wouldn’t that be sweet?

Reviewer Omar Mouallem, who has no problem with this minor revision, tells us

But like the orphan in the box, it’s not humanly possible to dislike Martian Child. Not even a little.

Oh, I don’t know about that, Omar. I haven’t even seen it and already I dislike it more than a little.

You see, Omar, I’m not all that fond of when heterosexuals take the contributions and sacrifices that gay men and women make – often times because of the humanity and compassion that comes from being made to feel like an outsider – and pretend that the very attributes that taught this person compassion are icky and nasty and to be hidden.

Phelps Liable for $10.9 Million

Rueters is reporting that a jury ordered Westboro Baptist Church to pay the family of a serviceman whose burial service was picketed by Phelp’s church.

The jury in federal court determined that the Westboro Baptist Church based in Topeka, and three of its principals had invaded the privacy of the dead man’s family and inflicted emotional distress when they protested at his funeral last year.

This bothers me in a few ways.

First, I am in favor of protected speech, even vile disgusting speech like that of Fred Phelps and his family. While there is no question that this celebration of the poor kid’s death was disturbing, I don’t like the precedent this sets. Perhaps as I hear more about the details – such as whether the protest was on public property or at a private funeral home – I may reconsider. But I recognize that my speech could be unwelcome and distressing to anti-gay activists or devoutly religious bigots.

Second, I can’t help but wonder if the outcome would have been different had Westboro been picketing a gay person’s death. I somehow suspect that the family of the serviceman was held by the jury to be more deserving. Perhaps I’m cynical, but I doubt they would have given $2.9 million to a grieving same-sex spouse.

UPDATE: The final award was much more:

The federal jury first awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damages. It returned in the afternoon with its decision to award $6 million in punitive damages for privacy loss and $2 million for distress.

Failing to Convince, Seeking to Coerce

Why do some people put such effort into “defeating the homosexual agenda”? Regular ol’ people seldom really care what you do in private. They can’t even seem to get all incensed about whether you marry the person you love and they tend to think you shouldn’t be fired from your job or banned from the military. But why do some folks care a WHOLE LOT about those issues?

Often when you scratch below the surface, the motivation becomes evident. Sometimes it’s a hidden sex life. Sometimes it’s some grief that the individual had with a gay person. But quite often it turns out that the anti-gay activist has a gay child.

I believe that their motivation to pass anti-gay legislation or other forms of discrimination is born out of their sense of frustration. Unable to convince or persuade their child not to be gay, they seek to use the power of the government to control the life of their child.

This week one more anti-gay activist is revealed to be the parent of an openly-gay child. This time it is the virulently homophobic Amy Contrada.

We’ve discussed Amy before. She’s the voice of opposition to The Laramie Project that recently was embarrassed when her daughter starred in the play (though she was quick to point out that this daughter is adopted). To Amy’s chagrin, rather than being grateful and submitting to Amy’s every demand, the Claudia Contrada is exerting her right to be herself. This week Claudia gave an interview to Queer Today:

I am a lesbian, which my mom still does not get. She just says that I am confused. I realized in around eighth grade, but I was in denial for quite some time because I was scared due to my mother constantly saying that homosexuality is wrong. How can it ever be wrong to love though? That’s what I’d like to know.

We know full well how difficult it can be living in a home that does not approve of your orientation. We wish Claudia strength.

Further, we wish Amy the courage to let go and allow Claudia to become the woman she’s intended to be. We wish Amy the wisdom to see that her efforts to control the lives of total strangers is based in her inability to control those closest to her and that such efforts are not only futile but also selfish and cruel.

More Tacky Details about Rep. Richard Curtis

Thanks to Dan Savage and Jeremy at GoodAsYou we know far more about Rep. Curtis’ particular sexual appetites than we probably really want.

For more details, you can check out the police report (courtesy of The Stranger)

Without being too graphic, we know that Curtis is versatile, doesn’t like the feel of latex (and is willing to pay not to use it), thinks offering a potential sex partner “$100 for gas” differs from prostitution, likes dressing up in women’s lingerie.

We also know that Curtis’ toy has performed for the camera (Savage has the link for the truly curious).

UPDATE: KOIN is reporting that Curtis has resigned.

Hartline’s Revelations About a Cure

I don’t often discuss anti/ex-gay activist James Hartline. I personally believe him to deeply emotionally and mentally disturbed and for that reason am more tolerant of his irrational rants. I do, however, find those like Peter LaBarbera who take advantage of this poor man’s condition to be beneath contempt.

Yet some conservative media will trot Hartline out when they want extremist anti-gay quotes. And they conveniently avoid quoting his less conventional opinions. For example, no conservative evangelical Christian media will be quoting this rather bizarre statement:

To those involved in gay activism who persecute my ministry: Are you really as truthful as you claim with regards to wanting an end to the AIDS epidemic? Think about this:

Do you really want a cure? What if God wants to reveal the cure to one of His Christian servants? Perhaps He is going to reveal to me or one of the members of my prayer team a cure for AIDS. We pray for a cure all of the time. In fact, He may have already revealed the cure. We have just not analyzed all of the revelations that God has shown us through our prayer times.

So, the next time you think about attacking our ministry because we stand up for the Bible, you may be attacking the one that God is showing the miracle of a cure for AIDS.
We do pray for a cure and we believe that God is bringing a cure soon.

Sadly, Hartline does not see a cure for AIDS as a demonstration of God’s compassion, but solely as a reward for Hartline’s prayers. And he further believes that God is showing him great revelations that may already include such a cure. James is the central character in his universe and his god plays a secondary role.

I wish James health and happiness. I wish him peace and mental comfort. And I wish that those who irresponsibly showcase him in their anti-gay activism would repent from their exploitation.

“We Want Sodomites Quarantined”

That gem came from Star Parker, one of the featured speakers at the Values Voter Summit held on October 20 and 21. Max Blumenthal was there and caught it all on video. And what he caught was pretty scary. Here’s a knee-slapper from the Traditional Values Coalition’s Lou Sheldon:

Lou Sheldon: But remember, homosexuality could strike you! It could strike this man here taking pictures…

Max Blumenthal: How could it strike me?

Sheldon: Because you could go into a gender identity confusion because it is a psychological imbalance. Something happens in a person’s life. It’s not only… It becomes a spirit…

But the real icing on the cake comes from Brandon Vallorini of Rick Scarborough’s Vision America:

Max Blumenthal: But under a Biblical order, I mean, … would the death penalty be imposed for blaspheming, homosexuality…

Brandon Vallorini: I guess in that time it was.

MB: But what about…

BV: What about it today? That’s a great question. Again, and I, I would want to be careful to say that we want to do what God says we should do.

Twenty Men Arrested In Rest Stop Sex Sting

And with the exception of one Catholic priest, all of them were married.

Add One More Closeted Anti-Gay Republican Politician to the List

First there was Mark Foley
Then there was Bob Allen
Then there was Larry Craig
Then there was Joey DiFatta

And now there’s Richard Curtis.

Rumors have been circling that Curtis, a Republican state rep in Washington, was being blackmailed over gay sex. Now the documents have been released and Seattle Post Intelligencer has what they say:

A Republican state legislator from southwest Washington had sex with a man he met at an erotic video store and then told police he had been targeted in an extortion attempt, according to police documents released Tuesday.

And just to make it seedier:

Castagna told police that Curtis agreed to pay him $1,000 for sex and also said Curtis purchased two gay pornographic films from the hotel for them to watch in his room.

and

Police interviewed several witnesses at the Hollywood Erotic Boutique, and according to the report, Curtis walked into a bathroom at the store and a few minutes later left the bathroom wearing long red women’s stockings and a black sequined lingerie top. A witness told police that at another time in the store, he saw a man with a cane performing a sexual act on Curtis.

Curtis, married with children, predictably claims that he isn’t gay. And because they NEVER are libertarian minded Republicans who get caught in these messes:

In 2005 and 2006, Curtis voted against a bill that granted civil rights protections to gays and lesbians.

In 2007, Curtis voted against a bill that created domestic partnerships for same-sex couples.

At first this stuff was kinda funny. Now it’s just becoming progressively more pathetic.

Values Voters Summit – Mystery Exgay

Max Blumenthal at the Huffington Post released a video of footage he shot walking around the Value Voters Summit. The video leads off with Max speaking with an exgay at what looks to be Exodus’ booth.

Does anyone recognize this guy?

Forty Percent of Football Players Are GAY!!!!

Paul Cameron (and his son Kirk) regularly supply anti-gays with Studies and Statistics about the evils of homosexuality. When you read that gay people die 20 years earlier or are three times as likely to molest children, you are reading the work of the Camerons.

Thoughtful people who are interested in truth soon learn to distance themselves from the Camerons and their parade of nonsensical claims. But some find anti-gay attitudes so tantalizing that they take an “if there’s smoke, there must be fire” attitude. They choose to think that maybe the methodology isn’t all that strong… but Cameron’s on to something, ya know?

In the vein of Cameron research, Science Daily brings us a “study”:

In his study of homosexuality among sportsmen in the US, sociologist Dr Eric Anderson found that 19 in a sample of 47 had taken part in acts intended to sexually arouse other men, ranging from kissing to mutual masturbation and oral sex.

Amazing!! Shocking!!

Could it be that the old efforts by some ex-gay ministries to masculinize their strugglers by playing football was making them more gay??!!??

Well, no. Not exactly.

As it turns out, these were all kids who played football in high school but, unable to make the team in college, turned to cheerleading instead. Hardly a representative sample.

So the next time you hear that “studies show that gay men die 20 years early” just reply that “studies show that fourty percent of all football players are gay”. One is just about as true as the other.