Box Turtle Bulletin

Queer Omission In “Things to Do” Guide Given To Exodus Conference Attendees

The Exodus Freedom Conference website has a “Things To Do” guide for the little free time conference attendees will enjoy. The #1 recommended beach…

The chain-commercialized (and thus safe) Huntington Beach, 18 miles away.

Conspicuously omitted is the gay hamlet of Laguna Beach which I might add is only 11 miles from Concordia University, where the conference is being held.

Luckily conference attendee Jim Burroway has a local (me) to set him straight and thus was enjoying Laguna mere hours after arriving. I might add the drag show at The Boom Boom Room on Wednesday nights is excellent.

Randy Thomas Projects His Experiences Onto All Of Us

Exodus vice-president Randy Thomas responded to the Ex-Gay Survivor’s conference by claiming that the conference will “try to project their experience onto all of us” and, as reported by CitizenLink, “deny people hope.”

The Ex-Gay Survivor’s conference, taking place on the same weekend as the final days of the Exodus Freedom Conference in Irvine, will provide a forum in which the approximately 70% of those who fail to change (according to Exodus’ own admission) can share their stories. Peterson Toscano counters, “Our gathering next week is about people, not protest. It’s about pastoral care, not propaganda.”

And since it’s not about propaganda — or projection — Peterson notes that those stories will likely describe the good and the bad:

As we gather this week in Irvine with people from as far away as Australia, England and NYC, we will unpack our pasts, the motivations behind our actions to change and suppress our sexuality, the good we gained from our efforts, and the harm that affects some of us even today.

But if Thomas is concerned about “projection,” he should mind his own house. There, he will find homosexuality described as a disorder, the vast majority of gays will be described as victims of a poor childhood or sexual abuse, and a succession of prominent ex-gay leaders will describe homosexuality as a miserable existence of meaningless relationships, rampant narcissism, promiscuity and drug abuse. Gays and lesbians will be reduced to merely being “those are struggling with same sex attraction,” and the “gay-identified” will be denied the dignity of their own experiences by people who were not born Christian but who have since chosen the lifestyle of the “Christian-identified.”

By Exodus’ own admission, for every person who “comes out of homosexuality,” there are at least two more who don’t. (This assumes Exodus’s “success rate” can be verified. So far, it can’t.) But at that Exodus gathering, those who decide to gather elsewhere to share their experiences — many of whom fell outside of Exodus’s own promises and lost the very hope that Thomas accuses Beyond Ex-Gay of denying — will be dismissed as “protesters.”

I don’t know about you, but I think Randy Thomas doth project too much.

See also:

Exodus to Ex-Gay Survivors: I’m Just Not That Into You

Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference Fun Begins

Myself and Momma

Timothy, myself and Peterson

Peterson Toscano had a show this morning at the WeHo Church which was followed by cocktails at The Abbey.

Thanks to Peterson for sharing his photos.

Pride or Mardi Gras?

Anti-gay extremists love to scare people with carefully selected images from Pride celebrations. But can you tell the difference between Pride and Mardi Gras? Kevin throws down the challenge.

Good-Bye Wal-Mart

CNNMoney reports that Wal-Mart has capitulated to the homophobic demands of anti-gay activists:

Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailer, has decided to curb its support of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) organizations after conservative Christian groups threatened a boycott, and after some of its own employees expressed disapproval.

Well I guess I won’t be shopping at Wal-Mart.  I don’t give my business to stores whose employees don’t approve of me and who value the bigotry of their employees over fairness and decency towards their customers.  So good-bye Wal-Mart, hello Target.

Exodus to Ex-Gay Survivors: I’m Just Not That Into You

We reported earlier that Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke, cofounders of Beyond Ex-Gay, invited Exodus leaders to a small private dinner to talk about some of the experiences of those who are no longer ex-gay. Since it’s a private dinner, Exodus officials may respond privately — I don’t know — but their public stance doesn’t bode well.

Exodus issued a press release saying they “welcome dialogue on homosexuality” at their national conference June 26 to July 1 in Irvine, California. But it seems that this dialogue will only be on their terms and at their venue.

Chambers responded to the news that local groups are planning to protest the Exodus event by holding a conference of its own, “Dialogue on this issue only benefits the community and the culture at large. It is a topic worth discussing and I am happy to share my experience as a part of a much-needed exchange of thoughts on this issue.”

Exodus bills the Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference as a “protest” and indicates that the only “dialoguing” that will take place will be within the confines of the Exodus conference. Exodus offers people like Rev. Ken Hutcherson for this “dialogue”. Hutcherson claimed last spring to speak under a “special commission” from the White House when he traveled to Latvia to stoke anti-gay sentiments there. (The White House denied this connection.)

Exodus’s “dialogue” will also feature Joseph Nicolosi (“We advise fathers, if you don’t hug your sons another man will.”), Nancy Heche (mother of actress Anne Heche, who is still bisexual despite her mother’s account of successfully “blessing” her) and Melissa Fryrear (“I never met one woman who had not been sexually violated”).

Exodus does a lot of talking and not much listening. It’s a shame, because there really are a lot of things to talk about. Exodus recently has claimed a 30% success rate, without any proof to back it up. But even if we accepted that figure, that means 70% fail. These ex-gay survivors know the pain that comes from that failure. They have a lot of important things to say, and the least Exodus could do is acknowledge them with civility instead of dismissing their stories as “protest.”

See also:

Randy Thomas Projects His Experiences Onto All Of Us

Alan Chambers Clarifies His Remarks to the LA Times

Alan Chambers spoke to AFA’s OneNewsNow to clarify comments he made to the Los Angeles Times, in which he was described as “resenting” the term “ex-gay”. The LA Times reported:

[“Ex-gay” is] too neat, implying a clean break with the past, when he still struggles at times with homosexual temptation. “By no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete,” Chambers said.

…His personal denunciation of the term “ex-gay” — his organization has yet to follow suit — is just one example of shifting ground in the polarizing debate on homosexuality.

Chambers was strongly rebuked by Stephen Bennett and Peter LaBarbera for violating the ex-gay party line. Alan responds:

A recent Times article characterizes Exodus president Alan Chambers as saying he has never met a successful “ex-gay.” Chambers cautions those words were not his, but those of the writer, Stephanie Simon. Chambers says in the interview, he merely stressed he has never met anyone who has loved the term “ex-gay” — which he contends is difficult to define.

“It’s something that comes across as confusing,” he says. “And while I understand why people have used it over the years — it’s easy to use in a soundbite — to say that someone is primarily described by the behavior that they used to be involved in I think is a disservice to the people who have found freedom from homosexuality.”

And that includes himself, says Chambers. “[R]eally, more accurate labels for me would be, ‘I’m a man. I’m a Christian. I’m a husband. I’m a father. I’m a son.'” Chambers says he is considering whether to ask the newspaper to issue a clarification of his remarks.

This might be read as his backing away somewhat from what the LA Times reported. For one thing, he doesn’t mention his own struggles in this article, struggles that he has been candid about elsewhere. But it’s an important clarification which is largely consistent with what he’s been saying for quite some time, even if it is somewhat incomplete. He also maintains his stance that he “is unwilling to dismiss the idea that ‘there may be a biological or genetically pre-disposing factor’ ” to homosexuality, but adds, “Just because something’s genetic does not make it moral, optimal, or right.”

All of this is a reminder that his recent statements don’t mean he’s abandoning the ex-gay movement (or whatever name the movement chooses to use in the future) to become our ally. And yet, I have a feeling this clarification may not be enough for his more hard line compatriots. In the culture wars unfortunately, there is often no room for middle ground.

An Ex-Gay Survivor’s New York Story

Peterson Toscano wrote an opinion piece that appeared in today’s New York Blade about his compelling story as an ex-gay survivor. As he points out, anyone anywhere can be susceptible to the pressures to be “normal”:

As a 19-year-old in New York City trying anything and everything to fix my gayness, I believed in miracles. I still believe in miracles and in change, although I shifted my focus. I believe our world can become a place that accepts, affirms and celebrates all citizens, queer and straight. It takes work though, not magic. Part of the work includes sharing stories about the craziness we faced in a world that wanted us to be “normal.” This craziness didn’t only happen in rural communities back in the ’80s. It happens today—even in New York City.

This is another good time to plug next week’s Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference in Irvine, California, June 29 through July 1. Peterson and many other survivors will be there to share their stories. Your’s truly will also be presenting a workshop there. I hope you can make it.

MassResistance Goes There

Celebrations continue over last week’s defeat of the anti-marriage amendment in Massachusetts. Meanwhile, MassResistance, the group supporting repeal of gay marriage, is nursing its wounds. And it looks like they’re not going away quietly. They’ve sent out a fundraising letter bemoaning that seven Republicans and five Democrats switched their votes to defeat the proposed amendment.

MassResistance remains both unchastened and without any sense of decency. Unable to recognize that their own outrageous antics alienated allies at every turn, they included this in their fundraising appeal:

Although the group [KnowThyNeighbor] is made up of adult homosexual males, they have shown an inordinate interest in children. They came to testify at the State House against the Parents Rights Bill hearing, and in particular have become obsessed about the possibility that parents might keep the kids from homosexual programs in the schools. They are angry, dangerous people.

This veiled link between male homosexuality and pedophilia clearly crosses the line yet again. The “homosexual males” in question testified because they were parents who didn’t want to see their own families marginalized in their children’s classrooms.

MassResistance would have you believe that we have no families. What’s more, they are the truly “angry, dangerous people” who mean our families harm. Victory in Massachusetts doesn’t mean we have the luxury of a momentary pause, or even that families in the Bay State are forever safe. As long as MassResistance and others like them continue to spew such bile, we will have work to do.

But if there is a bright side, it is this: MassRisistance is their own worst enemy, as their repulsive tactics continue to make things untenable for those who might otherwise be sympathetic to their cause.

Another Reason To Appreciate The UK

Sometimes, I think I was born in the wrong country. Can you imagine a beer commercial like this in the US?

Update: Commenter Paul Stevens points out that the ad never aired: “Fearing greater backlash by straight consumers, the TV spot was ultimately dropped by Guinness. Later, the company tried to deny that this spot even existed.”

And Colombia Backs Off

Colombia’s bill to recognize same-sex couples is not a go, after all.  A floor vote was called for when many supporters were absent.  And it seems the Catholic Church threatened Senators with being denied the sacraments and some of those who previously supported the bill got cold feet (or a fear of eternally hot feet).

So the race is still on for who will be the first Latin American country to grant same-sex couples rights and protections.  Will it be Costa Rica?  (Probably not.)

The Colombian bill will be reintroduced in July.

Peter LaBarbera Joins Stephen Bennett In Ex-Gay Cat Fight

Battle lines are being drawn in the ex-gay cat fight. In one corner, we have Exodus International president Alan Chambers, who questioned the ex-gay party line when he said, “By no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete.”

In the other corner, we have Stephen Bennett, who demands that Alan Chambers clarify his remarks.. Bennett is now joined by Peter LaBarbera, who calls Alan to task for straying from doctrinal purity [Emphasis LaBarbera’s]:

There are many people – perhaps due to the “weirdness” of homosexuality (after all, this is a lifestyle whose advocates now proudly embrace the moniker “queer”) – who would have us focus incessantly on the “cause” of homosexuality and the “feelings” of homosexuals. They have come to sympathize with people caught up in homosexuality’s embrace in a way that drives them to become de facto apologists for “gayness” – more suspicious of pro-family groups engaged in the uphill fight against homosexual activism than they are of the homosexual activists themselves. (I would put Grove City College psychology professor Dr. Warren Throckmorton, who has emerged as a “Switzerland” of sorts in the culture war over homosexuality, in that camp.)

…But the far more important issue for people trapped in this sin, and especially for our nation’s youth, is that this destructive sinful behavior can be changed and must never be defended by anyone who claims allegiance to a holy, Almighty God. We know Alan Chambers would never do that, but by stepping into this semantic morass and publicly denying “complete change” for practicing homosexuals – in the face of wonderful Christian testimonies like Steve Bennett’s and Dennis Jernigan’s – he inadvertently helped a “gay” lobby that is obsessed with defending the indefensible.

Truth is, despite his good intentions, the “gay” activists will never be Alan’s friend unless he abandons God’s moral law and throws up a rainbow flag in complete surrender.

LaBarbera is being his usual hyperventilating self. I don’t expect Alan to throw up a rainbow flag anytime soon. But this does go to show how quickly some anti-gay extremists will turn and eat their own whenever they see their unquestionable assumptions challenged.

As Alan is finding out, culture wars demand absolute fealty to the party line. Anything less, and you risk lending comfort to a “decidedly evil movement.” Either that, or you become Switzerland, which I hear is quite lovely this time of year.

See also:

Stephen Bennett: Say It Isn’t So!
Stephen Bennett: Alan Chamber’s Got Some Explainin’ To Do
Peter LaBarbera Joins Stephen Bennett In Ex-Gay Cat Fight

Beyond Ex-Gay Asks Exodus Out To Dinner

Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke, cofounders of Beyond Ex-Gay, point out that an important question is being overlooked in the current ex-gay cat fight: What harms come from pursuing change?

Beyond Ex-Gay, along with Soul Force and the LGBT Resource Center, will be sponsoring the Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference June 29 to July 1 in Irvine, California, to coincide with the Exodus Freedom Conference taking place just down the road at the same time. Peterson and Christine have issued an invitation to Exodus leaders to attend a small private dinner, without the press and with no recording or filming, to talk about some of the experiences of those who left the movement:

Too often once we leave your programs, you never hear about our lives and what happens to us. Most ministries do not have aftercare programs or any formal means to follow-up on participants. Some stories you do not get to hear… The purpose of the dinner is to give you an opportunity to hear our stories. We do not wish to bash you, attack you or shame you. We simply desire to share our stories with you.

Dream or a dud? We’ll have to wait and see.

New York Assembly Approves Gay Marriage

The New York Assembly approved a bill authorizing same sex marriage Tuesday by a vote of 85-61. The vote is considered largely symbolic because observers believe it has very little chance of passing the Republican-led Senate. This is the first time the Assembly has voted on gay marriage.

Stephen Bennett: Alan Chamber’s Got Some Explainin’ To Do

It looks like Stephen Bennett has gotten over his initial disbelief on discovering that Alan Chambers told the Los Angeles Times that he doesn’t like the term “ex-gay” and that “by no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete.”

Bennett’s first response was to wail, “I have to say with every breath of my being, I believe Alan COULDN’T have said the things the LA Times claimed he did.” But now it looks like reality is closing in on him, and his shock has turned to anger.

Bennett released an exceptionally long press release, in which he “condemned the irresponsible and disturbing remarks attributed to and made by Alan Chambers.”:

Bennett, along with many others pro-family leaders, were shaken Monday by Chamber’s remarks and are eagerly awaiting Exodus International’s official response to their President’s misguided statements.

…Stephen continued, “What we see here is the public divide of the pro-family movement. One camp believes ‘dialoguing’ with homosexual advocates and activists will bring about a happy middle ground and compromise for all. That, I’m afraid, will NEVER happen. You see, ‘compromise’ is not in God’s dictionary — and of course homosexual activists are loathe to compromise on their core beliefs. The other pro-family camp biblically believes homosexuality is, was and always be a sinful lifestyle that individuals were not born with, yet a lifestyle they CAN experience COMPLETE freedom from. I am in that camp. I don’t believe in encouraging a dysfunctional, dangerous and potentially deadly lifestyle, but COMPLETE liberation from it.”

I’m predicting a very entertaining cat fight coming on.

But in all seriousness, I’m encouraged by Alan’s bravery in making these statements. When I was writing my series of posts about Love Won Out, I left off at Part Four last April, leaving everyone hanging about Alan’s candid talk. I haven’t been able to finish writing Part Five, partly because I wasn’t sure how Alan’s words at that conference could possible fit in the larger picture. With these recent events, I’m glad I hesitated because Alan is now beginning to say publicly some of the things he’s previously confined to a “safe” Evangelical audience.

I think a very interesting picture may be starting to emerge. It’s still not one that I’m at all prepared to endorse. We are many miles apart on so many issues — particularly where Exodus’s political activism is concerned. And truthfully, I think we probably always will be. As I illustrated earlier today, he’s not exactly becoming an ally.

And so it will be interesting to see if this is the beginning of a new evolving message. And if it is, what role will that message fill alongside Exodus’s ongoing political activities? It will also be interesting to see if Focus on the Family and other ex-gay groups pick up on any of these messages. Nuance (yes, I’m using the term loosely) hasn’t been their strong suit.

Stephen Bennett’s broadside brings a movement to an interesting crossroads. The question now is who will epitomize the future of the ex-gay movement? Chambers? Or someone like Bennett? The choice couldn’t be more stark.

Hat tip: Scott.

See also:

Stephen Bennett: Say It Isn’t So!
Stephen Bennett: Alan Chamber’s Got Some Explainin’ To Do
Peter LaBarbera Joins Stephen Bennett In Ex-Gay Cat Fight