Box Turtle Bulletin

Your Next First Lady, God Willing

That’s the upshot of Karen Santorum’s remarks to Glenn Beck:

“I personally think this is God’s will. I think He has us on a path, and I do think there’s a lot more happening than what we’re seeing,” Karen Santorum told Glenn Beck as she and her husband sat for an interview on his Web-based show, GBTV. “Personally I mean I think Rick’s a great guy, and he’s really smart and everything. But I think a lot more is happening than what we can actually see.”

…She said the campaign has been challenging, and said some would “have to be crazy to want” to be president. But she said she and her husband escape that because for them “it’s completely a spiritual thing. This is God’s will.”

“The ‘want’ is a mission to make the culture a better culture, more pleasing to God,” Mrs. Santorum said. “For us it’s all about making the world a better place.”

I wonder if she’s measuring the White House for these curtains?

Simpson on Santorum

Back in the days when the motto of the Wyoming Republican Party could have been “mind your own damn business”, Alan Simpson was an ideal representative. Senator from 1979 to 1997, Simpson was outspoken in the press, popular at home, and powerful in Washington, serving as Republican Whip from 1985 to 1995. When he was replaced as Whip with Trent Lott, he figured it was time to retire. It was the party’s loss.

Simpson has not disappeared into obscurity. He currently serves as co-chair, with Erskine Bowles, of President Obama’s National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform. His job is to craft policy which will address the nation’s short term and long term financial needs and which are immediately ignored by both parties.

He also has not mellowed. And he has a few choice words to say about presidential candidate Rick Santorum while speaking with Bob Schieffer on Face to Face.

I know Santorum, I served with him and I served with Newt.

I am convinced that if you get into these social issues and just stay in there about abortion and homosexuality and even mental health they bring up, somehow they’re going to take us all to Alaska and float us out in the Bering Sea or something, if we’re going to do that..

Here’s a party that believe in government out of your life, the precious right of privacy, and the right to left alone. How then can they be (the hypocrisy) fiddling around in these social issues? We won’t have a prayer.
…
The Republicans, I voted for Ike, my first vote. And the Taft people said Ike is a commie, he’s a pinko. And the Ike people said that Taft was a right wing nut. So I’ve watched Republicans; they give each other the saliva test of purity and then they lose and then they bitch for four years.

Schaffer then asked if Santorum is too identified with social issues.

Well I tell ya, he is rigid and a homophobic. He believes that gays and lesbians, he mentioned in an interview in 2003 about bestiality and gays and lesbians. I think that’s disgusting.

And they asked him, he said, ‘I want a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage,’ and they said, ‘Well, what about the people who are already married?’ And he said, ‘Well, they would be nullified.’

I mean what is, what’s human, what’s kind about that? We’re all human beings, we all know or love somebody who’s gay or lesbian so what the hell is that about? To me it’s startling and borders on disgust.

Well Simpson served with him. So I guess he knows the man’s character.

Santorum Pwns “Santorum”

Yeah, I know. I’m sure the script calls for mud and not “santurum” getting spattered around. But surely someone in the campaign had the scatalogical reference in mind when they made this commercial. After all, they’ve spent their fair share of time complaining about Santorum’s “Google problem.” So please don’t tell me they had no idea anyone would think of it and laugh — and not necessarily at Santorum’s expense — after seeing this commercial. Please don’t tell me that they had no idea that in one fell swoop they’ve artfully linked Dan Savage to Romney as Romney trues to blast Santorum with disgusting goo. I really want to believe that this commercial is pure genius, and not further evidence of a major contender for President of the United States being hopelessly clueless. Please let me have that at least. I would be  ever so grateful.

Rick Santorum’s delusional response to the Ninth Circuit ruling

Those who are losing the battle to keep gay citizens relegated to second class status and denied civil equality have a new mantra: “they called me a bigot!”

And, as Rick Santorum illustrated in his comments about yesterday’s Ninth Circuit ruling upholding Judge Walker’s finding that Proposition 8 is a violation of the US Constitution, this claim need not have even the flimsiest of filaments of truth for the martyr’s song to be played.

The Ninth Circuit decision yesterday said that marriage, if you believe in traditional marriage, between a man and a woman and exclusively that, you are in fact, the only reason you could possibly believe that, is because you are a bigot. That there is no rational basis for you to have marriage as an institution between a man and a woman. There, there’s no, no rational basis. Your belief of marriage between a man and a woman is purely irrational based on hatred and bigotry. That’s what they just wrote.

No. That’s not what they wrote. Not even close.

What the court said was that the State of California could not discriminate in the providing of services to gays and lesbians without a rational basis. And that a rational basis needed to be tied to a legitimate government goal. They didn’t say that any person who opposes equality is irrational, just that there was no legitimate goal which could be rationally tied to the proposition.

But even assuming that Santorum has forgotten anything that he may have incidentally picked up at law school (yeah, he actually went to law school) about rational basis and is every bit as stupid as he appears to be, he simply cannot justify the “hatred and bigotry” claim.

Actually, what the court said was:

Ultimately, the “inevitable inference” we must draw in this circumstance is not one of ill will, but rather one of disapproval of gays and lesbians as a class. “[L]aws singling out a certain class of citizens for disfavored legal status or general hardships are rare.” Romer, 517 Ë.Í. at 633. Under Romer, we must infer from Proposition 8’s effect on California law that the People took away from gays and lesbians the right to use the official designation of ‘marriage’—and the societal status that accompanies it—because they disapproved of these individuals as a class and did not wish them to receive the same official recognition and societal approval of their committed relationships that the State makes available to opposite-sex couples.

This is an accurate assessment. Disapproval and a desire not to give the same official recognition. No reference to hatred or bigotry and no name calling at all.

Either Santorum is astonishingly stupid, an unabashed liar, or accidentally let slip his own personal motivations.

Rick Rolls Romney

It was a huge night for Sen. Rick Santorum, whose triple-play win last night seems to show that Republican primary voters and caucus voters are still looking for that anybody-but-Mitt candidate. And it was that dissatisfaction with the presumptive nominee that allowed Santorum to dominate the field like a man on a dog.

In Missouri’s primary, Santorum captured his biggest win with 55% of the vote, more than twice as much as Gov. Mitt Romney’s 25% showing. Rep. Ron Paul came in at 12%, and 4% selected “uncommitted,” which can be read either as a Newt Gingrich vote (Gingrich failed to qualify for Missouri’s ballot) or as “none of the above.” Santorum scored a total shutout in Missouri, winning every single county in the state.

Missouri’s primary election is an oddity. There are no delegates up for grabs. In fact, the voting there is largely meaningless because the delegates won’t be selected until the state party convention on April 21, and there is no relationship between last nights votes and how the party’s state delegates are ultimately chosen. Missouri GOP leaders are free to heed or ignore last night’s vote altogether. So how well last night’s results will translate into delegates remains an open question.

But in the Minnesota and Colorado caucuses, the fight for delegates was real, and Santorum had a similarly spectacular night there as well. In Minnesota, Santorum pulled in 45% of the vote and six delegates. Paul came in second with 27% of the vote (3 delegates), followed by Romney at 17% (2 delegates) and Gingrich at 11% (1 delegate). Yes, you read that right: Paul beat Romney in Minnesota. And like in Missouri, Romney didn’t win a single county in Minnesota either.

But the real surprise was Colorado, where Romney was expected to do well. Instead, Santorum took the state with 40% of caucus voters (earning 5 delegates) against Romney’s 35% (4 delegates), followed by Gingrich’s 13% (2 delegates) and Paul’s 12% (1 delegate).

The worst loser of the night would have to be Gingrich. He had a terrible showing, which is bound to have an impact to his already troubled fundraising. Santorum, on the other hand, may be able to use these wins to convince Republican voters to give him another look — and GOP anybody-but-Mitt donors somewhere else to put their money.

But speaking of money, Romney’s drubbing shows that there are limits to how far nearly-unlimited financial resources can go. Romney’s win last week in Florida had pundits believing that it was now his election to lose. It now looks like Midwesterners are thinking maybe he should. Lose, that is.

Presidential Candidates React

Mitt Romney does it old school, via a press relase:

“Today, unelected judges cast aside the will of the people of California who voted to protect traditional marriage. This decision does not end this fight, and I expect it to go to the Supreme Court. That prospect underscores the vital importance of this election and the movement to preserve our values. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and, as president, I will protect traditional marriage and appoint judges who interpret the Constitution as it is written and not according to their own politics and prejudices.”

Newt Gingrich, via Twitter:

“Court of Appeals overturning CA’s Prop 8 another example of an out of control judiciary. Let’s end judicial supremacy”

Rick Santorum, also via Twitter:

“7M Californians had their rights stripped away today by activist 9th Circuit judges. As president I will work to protect marriage.”

Ron Paul:

“…“

Press Secretary Jay Carney on behalf of President Obama:

“I’m not going to comment on litigation particularly as here where we are not party to it, but the president’s positions on these issues writ large are well known, and he’s long opposed divisive and discriminatory efforts to deny right and benefits to same-sex couples.”

On the flip side, former GOP Presidentical candidate, current Libertarian Party Presidentical candidate and former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson tweeted:

“Prop 8 – Sometimes a Court gets it right”

Gingrich Defeats Romney!

That’s Gingrich’s takeaway anyway, vowing to keep on campaigning in the 46 remaining states (even though he failed to make Virginia’s ballot). And he did trounce Romney among those who identified as Tea Party supporters, Evangelicals, and the “very conservative.” Gingrich’s geographical strength also was revealing. Romney carried central and southern Florida, home to a lot of people who moved there from the north, while Gingrich carried northern Florida and the panhandle, which is more representative of the type of voters found in the rest of the South.

But after trouncing Romney in South Carolina, Gingrich couldn’t hold up against Romney’s improved debate performance and overwhelming financial advantages.Romney won with 46%, taking all 50 delegates up for grabs, while Gingrich came in a very second with 32%. The real story in the next few weeks will be how that affects Gingrish’s ability to raise money between now and Super Tuesday. As for the rest of the lineup, Santorum trailed the Box of Rocks with 13% of the vote, and Paul pulled up the rear with 7%. It should be noted however that Paul wasn’t really contesting Florida. While the other three are campaigning for votes and momentum, Paul is in it for the delegates. With Florida’s winner-take-all contest and the impossibility that Paul could come in first, the ability to rack up any delegates in this contest was nill. So he wisely decided not to spend much time and money campaigning there. And if there’s one thing we know about Paul, it’s that he may not be rich, but he certainly knows how to deal with money.

Santorum wins in Iowa!! (kinda)

“Wasn’t that weeks ago?” you may be wondering. “And didn’t Romney win by 8 votes?”

Mitt Romney 30,015
Rick Santorum 30,007

Well, that was with 100% of the precincts counted. But now that the Iowa Republican Party leadership has officially “lost” eight precincts, the official winner is Rick Santorum:

Rick Santorum 29,839
Mitt Romney 29,805

No, I’m not making this up. In a scenario that could only be dreamed up by Dodgson, the leadership of the Republican Party in the great state of Iowa have “officially” declared Santorum to have received more votes than Romney in their (meaningless) caucus tally. (WaPo)

“It’s done,” said a party spokesman, who asked that his name not be used. About the missing votes, he said: “We never got ’em. We tried to track ’em down, and for whatever reason, we don’t have them.”

Romney graciously chose not to debate the validity of a tally based on “lost” ballots, saying, “The results from Iowa caucus night revealed a virtual tie. …We once again recognize Rick Santorum for his strong performance in the state.”

But in characteristic manner, Rick Santorum gloated.

This latest defeat of Governor Romney in Iowa is just the beginning, and Rick Santorum is committed to continuing the fight as the clear, consistent conservative voice in this race.

I’m guessing that Rick Santorum actually believes that when they lose your opponents votes, it means that you’ve “defeated” him. The Box of Rocks, which has been enjoying some quiet time with its family, said through a spokesman, “I really pity that man. He is dumber than… well… it’s hard to come up with a comparison.”

Molotov Mitchell Hopes for a Big Santorum Splash

Ummm…

Meanwhile Columbia, S.C. native Molotov Mitchell, an evangelical Christian video artist whose YouTube political commentaries against Newt Gingrich’s infidelities hit hundreds of thousands of Iowa cell phones via text message and went viral with over 33,000 views prior to the Iowa Caucuses, re-released a pro-Santorum punk-rock video that deals with one of Santorum’s harshest critics, Chicago sex columnist Dan Savage. Savage, a gay rights activist, is the originator of Santorum’s “Google problem,” an effort to redefine the conservative’s name as an obscenity. Mitchell said, “Mitt Romney is kind of like the RINO country club hetero version of Dan Savage, and in his own vacuous way, far more dangerous to hetero-traditionalism. I hope Santorum makes a big splash on Romney’s empty suit this Saturday.”

Mitchell was one of a handful of American Evangelicals who defended Uganda’s “Kill-the-Gays” bill in 2010. I don’t think this will help Santorum’s Google problem at all.

Santorum affirms all relationship, Box of Rocks is disgusted

Rick Santorum doesn’t hate gay people. Why, some of Rick’s friends’ neighbor’s cousin’s relatives are gay. So of course he doesn’t hate gay people and his wife can tell you so.

When a mother asked what to tell her son, Mrs. Santorum told her to blame her son. (Examiner)

Karen Santorum, Rick’s wife, answered first. “I think it’s very sad what the gay activists have done out there; they vilify him, and it’s so wrong,” she said. “Rick does not hate anyone.” Mrs. Santorum noted that opponents “can’t even find one example” of her husband hating gay people.

Rick Santorum cast his opposition gay marriage as a “public policy difference,” lamenting that “some see that public policy difference as a personal assault.”

Santorum then chimed in with some fascinating statements:

“There’s all sorts of other relationships that people have, and they are valuable relationships — whether they are amorous relationships or friendship relationships or familial relationships — they’re all important, they all have value they all should be affirmed,” Santorum added. “But that does not mean that we should change the laws to order — to create an atmosphere where children and families are not being promoted.”

The Box of Rocks vehemently disagrees with Rick Santorum on this issue. The Rocks do NOT think all relationships have value or should be affirmed.

For example, the Box of Rocks will never affirm ‘man on child’ relationships, which Santorum is on record as equating to same-sex relationships. The spokesman for the Box of Rocks noted, “That Rick Santorum is a pretty sick puppy. And I don’t mean in the ‘man on dog’ way.”

Maggie Gallagher endorses Rick Santorum

National Organization for [Catholic] Marriage’s Maggie Gallagher has endorse Pope Rick, as was anticipated. In doing so, she had far less to say about his policies or qualifications than she did about the meanies who are mocking the candidate:

They will go after him not just to defeat Rick Santorum, but to smear his good name, to associate it with their own muck, to take a decent and honorable man and try literally to make his name mean mud.

Oh, Maggie, no one is trying to literally make his name mean mud! Even a box of rocks knows that.

The box of rocks is very familiar with mud and considers mud to be a good friend. But it tries to keep a garden hose handy if there is any chance of coming in contact with santorum.

The coronation of Pope Rick marred by dissent

When the collection of social conservatives met, the public perception was that the purpose was to coalesce around one Republican candidate, shifting support from a variety of ‘non-Mitt’s to just one not-Mitt in hopes of having a social conservative as the Republican candidate. In reality, they met so each could try and convince the others to support they guy they supported. And just a few days after the white smoke went up, it now seems that all that was really accomplished was a sharp division into two not-Mitt camps.

Which is not very surprising. The collection of “leaders” who met are not known for their humility; in fact, they mostly exist for the purpose of being disagreeable and opposing things they don’t like. Concession is not part of their vocabulary.

But what is a bit surprising is that the conservative evangelical theocratic alternatives are narrowed down to Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich. Neither really seem to be ideal choices. They are both Catholic, you see. Papists, devotees in the cult of Mary, the tools of a foreign dictator, and worshipers of Mystery Babylon the Great Harlot. While that cultist polygamist Romney might be completely unacceptable, the pagan idolaters Santorum and Gingrich should be only marginally more acceptable – and that simply because Catholicism is a cult more familiar than the secretive Mormonism cult. *

(It is rather amusing when people who hate each other find common cause only in hating someone else even more.)

But it didn’t take long for the American Family Association to set the record straight. (OneNewsNow)

“The Evangelical community still holds a divergent opinion on who the nominee should be,” Rick Tyler, senior advisor to Winning Our Future PAC, a pro-Gingrich group, told OneNewsNow.com. “Rick Santorum won a straw poll that had a questionable methodology.”
…
“Rick has a very good record on evangelical issues but has no ability to beat Mitt Romney and less so for Barak Obama,” said Tyler. “Endorsing Rick only serves to help Romney who has a terrible record on the issues evangelicals care about.”
…
Tyler added that at least nine Gingrich supporters did not attend the meeting. He also said such notable evangelicals like Don Wildmon, American Family Association founder, Beverly LaHaye, founder of Concerned Women of America, Pastor Tim LaHaye, Jim Garlow, senior pastor of Skyline Church and Prop 8 organizer, leading Christian researcher George Barna, former congressman JC Watts, Thomas Sowell, a conservative thought leader, Richard Lee, founding pastor of First Redeemer Church in Atlanta, Georgia and Mat Staver, dean of Liberty Law School have all endorsed Gingrich.

It’s hard to say why they are so devoted to Gingrich. Maybe it’s because his background is Protestant and they have doubts about the sincerity of his devotion to the Catholic Church. Maybe it is because they suspect that Rick Santorum truly would take any position or do without question any action directed by the Vatican. Or maybe they recognize that in a debate with a box of rocks, that Gingrich has hope of coming out on top.

But whatever the reasons, the advocates of theocracy are demonstrating what many of us have known for a while: their supposed influence and power has long been more theater and bluster than substance.

[* I’m not expressing my views, but the views of many evangelical fundamentalist Christians who view both the Catholic Church and the Mormon Church as being heretic.]

Box of Rocks on Pope Rick

In response to the ecclesiastical selection of Rick Santorum as the exalted one, the boxs of rocks didn’t have much to say. However a spokesman noted that the Box of Rocks has little support from the theocratic minded as it generally tries to avoid those who are likely to cast the first stone.

Habemus Santorum!

A group of 150 cardinal (meaning primary or major) leaders of the Evangelical movement met in conclave in Texas to choose their standard bearer for the Republican presidential nomination. The white smoke has cleared and Rick Santorum emerged as their Vicar:

CBN confirms the report. Slate has this quote from Tony Perkins:

“What I did not think was possible appears to be possible,” said Perkins. After three rounds of balloting, “there emerged a strong consensus around Rick Santorum as the preferred candidate of this room.” It was a “clear, clear majority,” 115 out of 150, by the time other candidates were dropped off the ballot.

Sounds like it was straight out of the Sistine Chapel, doesn’t it? Team Santorum is ecstatic:

Santorum challenges box of rocks for the imbecile vote

Chafing at the Box of Rocks’ showing in New Hampshire, Rick Santorum was quick today to prove that he – not a box of rocks – is the truly stupid candidate this year. (WSJ)

In South Carolina, Mr. Santorum plans to hit Mr. Romney on issues like championing “Romneycare,” the health-care law he advocated and signed as governor of Massachusetts and “signing marriage licenses for homosexual couples,” said Mr. Gidley [Santorum’s national spokesman].

The Box of Rocks’ national spokesman marveled at that comment, noting that governors don’t sign marriage licenses.