Box Turtle Bulletin
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobby“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbyJanuary 23rd, 2012
We have backed away from bringing you stories about gay teens committing suicide. There is some risk that coverage of the stories can psychologically encourage a troubled teen to do the same.
However, the story of Phillip Parker in Gordonsville, TN, really pissed me off and really made me happy.
First pissed off: (NewsChannel5)
“After he did what he did, we found out a lot that we didn’t know and there is a lot of bullying that goes on at the school,” said [Paul Harris, Phillip’s grandfather].
While these parents and grandparents had no idea, the students at Gordonsville High school bombarded them both with information after Phillip’s death. More than hundred teens told them the bullying was obvious, and some said they went to teachers about it.
Now the Parkers want to know why no one from Gordonsville alerted them to the apparent bullying happening in the hallways.
“Whether it’s verbal or physical a counselor at the school should be on top of it and notify the parents. We weren’t notified, and Phillip didn’t tell us about it,” said Harris.
I don’t need to tell you what kind of complete scum the school adminstrators are. Rather than do their job, they let Phillip suffer. Clearly, Dante erred when he didn’t include a special ring of hell for these people.
Now to the happy.
These grieving parents want to know what was said to their son and more importantly, who said it.
“We are going to find out who done it, we are going to get justice for Phillip and you will pay for what you did to my son,” said Parker.
I believe him. I know that this isn’t something to go by, but the Parkers look like they’d feel right at home on one of the talkshows where the guests pick up chairs and throw them. And they look entirely like the kind of people who would not hesitate in the slightest to rough up someone who messes with their kid.
And sometimes those kind of people turn grief into righteous anger. They don’t accept settlements. They don’t “see the schools position”. They don’t listen to excuses. They fight. And it sounds like the Parkers intend to fight.
I am so damned tired of the bullies being protected. Some kid is bullied to death and all we hear about is the policies or the administration. We don’t hear that the parents demanded names. We never even know if anyone even scolded the social menaces who caused the death.
So I can hardly wait to hear about the Parkers suing the parents of the bullies. Or trying to get the principle arrested as an accessory. Or maybe using RICO rules to go after everyone who works at the school. I hope they get an attorney that is creative and just as angry as they are.
Because until this actually costs some adult something, it is not going to stop. Until a principle goes to jail or some parents lose their house or some city pays out millions, we are going to have an ongoing unrelenting epidemic of bullying.
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F Young
January 23rd, 2012
“Now the Parkers want to know why no one from Gordonsville alerted them to the apparent bullying happening in the hallways.”
I have a concern with this. I don’t think that parents have an absolute right to be informed of anti-LGBT bullying, because it may put the child at risk.
Sexual minority youth differ from all other minorities in that their parents, far from being their guardians and protectors, are in many cases their worst ennemy, their very worst bully.
But only if they find out.
Outing LGBT kids to their parents could lead to the kids becoming homeless, dropping out of school and being forced into survival sex, of being forced into conversion treatments, of being bullied, beaten or even killed by their parents. It has happened before.
It is a testament to the unique helplessness of a significant number of sexual minority youth. And it makes it all the more important for schools to stop and prevent anti-LGBT bullying.
It is certainly okay for the parents to ask why they were not informed. If the answer is that their son did not give permission because he feared his parents’ reaction, that should be the end of that line of inquiry.
Regan DuCasse
January 24th, 2012
Fair enough, F Young. I can definitely see your point.
I have, however, often wondered when the time would come when the parents were seriously tempted to exact some threat of their own. Instead of quietly grieving and burying their child and going on, that they’d take some names and knock some heads together.
This is after all, CRIMINAL, how these children behave towards each other. Not the principle, nor any of the teachers would put up with assault and constant harassment from one another. It’s unacceptable in the adult world. And evidently DANGEROUS among children. This has precipitated mass school shootings. Especially because they have little or no impulse control, and apparently more access to firearms, than an adult’s interest and protection in their plight.
So why do they let it go between children? As if this isn’t teaching children that violating another person isn’t an actionable crime?
WTF?!
So perhaps it’s way past time that parents were a major threat to whoever violated their child, and who allowed it.
Period.
This is one of the reasons I never wanted to have children. I already get enraged when a helpless young person is harmed.
Were it one of my own, I really think I might be seriously dangerous.
I really do.
David C.
January 24th, 2012
We’ll see a marked change in the behavior of school administrators when a major-multi-million dollar lawsuit is won by a parent of a bullied child.
It will take a massive sanction to wake up those school districts with a bullying problem they are ignoring. To see some school district paying out tens of millions of dollars and a school administrator doing the perp walk would precipitate a profound shift that is way overdue.
StraightGrandmother
January 24th, 2012
Well then there is the other side…
“So when people say bad things about you, even if they are wrong, tell yourself it is their way of trying to help you become a better person. For example, if they call you “fatsoâ€, it’s not because they are trying to hurt you but because they want you to go on a diet and be healthier. If they call you an idiot, it’s because they want you to be smarter. If they call you a slut, it’s because they don’t want you to be promiscuous. Then these things won’t upset you.”
http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/what_president_obama_should_tell_us_about_bullying
Hunter
January 24th, 2012
@StraightGrandmother:
This is a spoof, right? Does anyone really think that high-school bullies are in the least interested in making their victims better people?
Jay Jonson
January 24th, 2012
“Because until this actually costs some adult something, it is not going to stop.”
Yes.
James
January 24th, 2012
Re: StraightGrandmother
…and if they call you a fa@@ot, it’s because they don’t want you to be gay. Yep, nothing wrong with that.
Dean
January 24th, 2012
I’d be more impressed with the BTB if you reported all the good programs across the country where teachers and kids have dealt with bullying through positive programs. These programs provide kids with life long skills of documenting undesirable behavior, holding kid court and using peer pressure to create a positive atmosphere.
Further, I would encourage you to develop a network of kids to write and document your positive-oriented articles.
Jim Hlavac
January 24th, 2012
I know it is counterintuitive, and of course a sensitive thing, for the fear is that the kids will be chased away and made homeless by hateful parents — but frankly, I think that if bullying is going on because of the gayness then yes, alert the parents — and if the parents throw the kids out — then it behooves every gay group in the nation to set up safe homes for them – for politically, and in the long run for all of us, it shows just how much hate and fear there is, and puts a lie to the “good Christian” nonsense.
And, more importantly, it shows to the gay kids that he’s wanted somewhere without a doubt — but to live as a gay teen knowing that there’s no help in schools, and no help at home, and no help from any older gays — to what use is that? What good could come of it? None. No, push the issue to the fore. Push it to the news. For how many gay teens must be thrown out of their homes before some more rational heteros get their act together? How many gay teens can be saved by pulling them into the open loving arms of gay groups set up to help these kids? By keeping it hidden (and drug use, violence by the teen, criminal activity and teen pregnancy are not hidden, but dealt with through a plethora of programs,) it just perpetuates the horrendous actions of everyone, through commission and/or omission. No, take the bull by the horns already.
Meanwhile, every state, including Tenn. have outlawed “hazing” — and bullying is just hazing — and some good gay lawyers ought to bring suit and criminal charges on the grounds of “hazing” and refer specifically to those statutes — and stop this “bullying” semantic nonsense. If pulverizing a kid under “hazing” is not allowed, then sure pulverizing a kid with “bullying” is just as illegal already. This “let’s not upset the heteros” or “let’s not push the issue” just doesn’t cut it with me.
Priya Lynn
January 24th, 2012
I have a concern with this. I don’t think that parents have an absolute right to be informed of anti-LGBT bullying, because it may put the child at risk…It is certainly okay for the parents to ask why they were not informed. If the answer is that their son did not give permission because he feared his parents’ reaction, that should be the end of that line of inquiry.”
I think its doubtful that in any of these incidents the school asked the victim if he or she would be willing to have their parents informed of the bullying. At the very least they could do that but almost certainly won’t.
The other thing is that just because someone is bullied using anti-gay epithets doesn’t mean they are gay. Informing the parents that a child is being bullied for being gay doesn’t necessarily out that child.
Priya Lynn
January 24th, 2012
Oops. That first paragraph in my previous comment was a quote from F young.
Priya Lynn
January 24th, 2012
Timothy said “We have backed away from bringing you stories about gay teens committing suicide. There is some risk that coverage of the stories can psychologically encourage a troubled teen to do the same.”.
That’s kind of a double edged sword. If you don’t report perhaps you don’t encourage copy-cat suicides but on the other hand you also play into the hands of those who say bullying isn’t a problem and nothing should be done about it. Which aproach will result in less suicides in the long run?
What about reporting on the suicides but witholding names and identifying details so as not to provide fame to those who kill themselves?
Reed Boyer
January 24th, 2012
I want to know the names and remember the faces.
I want to be able to let people know what and who we’ve lost; that Justin Aaberg was on his way to becoming a violinist of Tyler Clementi’s rank, for instance.
I want to be able to inform people that Caleb Nolt is survived by his twin brother (because, as it turns out, I have a friend who knows something about that “twinless” situation, and could reach out and help).
And the details, unfortunately – Seth Walsh taking nine days to die; Adam Wood climbing a 75-foot electrical tower to hang himself; and Brandon Bitner (whose death might be accurately termed a “copy-cat,” because he did it to draw attention to the problem of LGBT bullying), walking 13 miles in the dead of night to jump in front of a truck.
And Phillip Parker – flashing a peace sign in his photo, and described by his friends as “the boy who told everyone they’re beautiful.”
Facts are ugly things sometimes. But I want ’em.
Dante
January 24th, 2012
“Clearly, Dante erred when he didn’t include a special ring of hell for these people.”
They go to the circle of treachery.
Iamposterity
January 24th, 2012
Let me tell you exactly what is going on!
The Vatican as a Sovereign foreign power has a “distribution chain” and is utilizing vertical integration techniques in America to sell the Catholic Brand of Religion to the majority in hopes of pushing Democracy (MOB RULE) upon us, thus stepping ever closer to establishing a Global Theocracy.
Remember that a Constitutional Republic will protect both majority and minority on either side of any issue by restricting The Government not individual people.
Bullying and suicide is the evidence that this mob mentality is growing, “in season and out of season” and saturating every aspect of our communities, institutions, workplace environments, and even our private homes.
So now you ask: “What power do we have?”
We have ALL the POWER and all we have to do is become One Nation Indivisible. It’s not to late!
Now you ask: “How can we accomplish such a task?”
Very Simply by putting aside our differences on the many issues to support the one issue that protects ALL PEOPLE.
Now you ask: “Who will start this process?”
Wow! You worry a lot, but I have good news! It has already been started all that is needed is for you to simply spread the truth and join the fight.
Now you ask: “When will all this be exposed and happen?”
Well whenever you start to tell others and show them the evidence and begin to rally around our Constitution and THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS.
Now you ask: “How do we get so many people together from so many walks of life with so many differing opinions to unite as One Nation Indivisible?”
OMG with all the questions!
Well we need to all get on the same page about the constitution!
Here is some help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7qF0t_2xms
Or youtube.com search Constitution Lectures 1: The Non-Consent of the Governed
It’s 10 minutes and you will feel smart and empowered to overcome any obsticle in your path!
Seriously this will work I just need a whole bunch of informed supporters from every side of every issue!!!
If you want to know how you can recognize and expose the enemy or someone that is being confused by the enemy contact
Jim Burroway (Editor)
Gabriel Arana
Daniel Gonzales
Timothy Kincaid
Rob Tisinai
and they have my permission to privately contact me via the email information provided on my account here at BTB
Iamposterity
January 24th, 2012
My Mom told me when I was young “You can do anything You put your heart and mind to” boy was she in for a shock!
EOJinDC
January 24th, 2012
1) LGBT kids aren’t the only ones committing suicide as a result of bullying. In addition to suicide, some kids, and as far as we know they’ve all been heterosexual, go back to their schools with guns and bombs.
If we don’t want special treatment, then we shouldn’t make a special case for LGBT kids. Is bullying worse for LGBT kids than it was for the girl who had an adult pretend to be a boy she liked and then humiliated her publicly? That young woman killed herself. We should oppose all bullying for everyone.
2) Parents do have an absolute right to know if their child is being bullied or harassed in school. There are no exceptions to that. To say they don’t is to make the dangerous assumption that all of the kids who are assaulted with anti-gay bullying are in fact LGBT. That is not the case. Anti-gay bullying just happens to be the most conspicuous and common form of bullying.
3) Schools should be mandated to tell parents if a child is being bullied. The names a child is being called are irrelevant. The important thing is that that child be allowed to attend school in peace. Most anti-gay bullying has nothing to do with whether or not a child is actually LGBT. It’s all about perception of gender roles. When I was in high school in Texas, any boy who didn’t play football was suspect. God help you if you were artistic and didn’t play a sport at all. Then you were called “queer,” when it was still a bad thing, because you didn’t fit traditional male gender roles.
4) The perpective Straight Grandmother is offering done with good, although distorted, intentions. When some people look back on being bullied, they say it made them stronger. Jason Mraz has a new album coming out, and there’s a song on it in which he thanks the guys in high school who beat him up. He says they made him who he is, and he loves who he is. He has turned their bullying and abuse into victory. I AM NOT SAYING the ends justify the means!!! THEY DO NOT!!! The risk associated with the various outcomes of bullying is far too great to impose our adult perspective onto the lives of children who are currently living in that hellish environment. The rationale behind her statement is passive-aggressive or maybe aggressive-aggressive. But kids need to be sent the message that people have survived being bullied and gone on to live thriving successful lives. After all, “It’s Get’s Better!”, right?
5) Schools SHOULD report bullying. Usually, kids who bully have other issues going on. It’s a chance to stop bullying and to intervene on behalf of a child who may be the victim of abuse themselves.
6) My family taught me that there are sad, miserable people in the world, and told me, “People are going to talk about you no matter what you do. Be true to yourself and who you are. Don’t let people back you down. If you are right, we are going to be there behind you 100%. If you’re wrong, it’s our job to figure out how to discipline you. You are no one else’s punching bag.” They also taught me to defend myself, even if it got physical. My Mom said, “I’d rather come get you from the principal’s office than the hospital or the morgue. You defend yourself. Get out of danger, and I’ll be there to back you up as soon as humanly possible.”
7) If a young person is reading this who is being bullied, you are not alone, and you have options:
-Go to the principal’s office everyday and file a complaint. Get a copy of it, and fax them to the local ACLU.
-Call the police and file assault charges. In some jurisdictions, the bullying could violate human rights protections or stalking laws.
-Keep a journal. Write everything down: times, dates, locations, who you told, who witnessed it, write it all down. Send letters to the principal, the school board, the superintendant, the state board of education. Tell everyone you can that you are being bullied and document it.
The school isn’t doing anything because you don’t know how to create a “paper trail.” It essentially means you are documenting everything in the event that you have to sue them. Don’t keep your documentation at school. They can take it from you. Call your voicemail, and let it record the things people are saying to you. There are apps on phones that can be set to record without notifying anyone else. Document everything.
Whatever you do, be careful! Don’t put your life in jeopardy under any circumstances.
Otherwise, SCREAM (metaphorically)!!! and Keep screaming!!! People will ignore you. Keep screaming, because they will either address your screams to get peace and quiet or they will address them because you are creating a paper trail and documenting the fact they are doing nothing to keep you safe.
mikeksf
January 24th, 2012
Thanks for reminding us Reed, of these tragic loses
Regan DuCasse
January 24th, 2012
If a child is at risk of abuse or abandonment at home for being gay, then the parents are criminally liable for their actions. It’s illegal to abuse a child, it’s illegal to abandon them. Especially to the streets with no other support from an adult. This obviously puts them at serious risk for exponential harms.
Another thing that’s exceptionally disturbing is how the anti gay RESENT any special attention to the difference between anti gay bullying and any other kind.
Anti gay sentiment has a different origin, as well as result from bullying from body size, skin condition or economic levels. Which, not only can change, but it’s situations or attributes that other family members ALSO share.
That these differentiations are important and don’t have the same impact cannot be emphasized or articulated enough.
The anti gay help make and maintain the problem, now they have to own it and the reason why. If they reject that, tough shit. It’s the truth.
And altogether PREVENTABLE.
Regan DuCasse
January 24th, 2012
@EOJinDC.
I mentioned (as did a few others) some of the very specific and reasoned differences between gay children being bullied and children who are not gay.
If the singling out has differences, then the discussion has to be HONEST about that, and address that difference.
Lumping it all together doesn’t serve the essential purpose: true that some hetero children are bullied too. But they aren’t at risk from being abused by their parents, clergy and teachers as well. Only gay children have these risk factors as well, where a hetero child might not.
There are teachers and administrators (and clergy) who are as homophobic as the children they are in charge of. They are willing to allow assault as there passive/aggressive way of punishing homosexuality.
Children that are bullied for being fat, or who wear glasses, are not necessarily alone in that attribute by their family or the other adults around them.
The gay child will be the only one who is, leaving them with no one to empathize or guide them through their developmental process of acceptance.
Virtually all aspects of being an awkward child has something in common with those closest to them.
Homosexuality does not. And gay children are KEPT separate from ANY gay adults or other gay children who might provide a safe haven.
Look at how much rejection there has been of campus GSA’s and other healthy social structure and support for gay children to have allies.
It’s not gay people who are trying to make themselves special or outstanding in needs and support.
It’s the anti gay that force this on them. Not acknowledging that difference, makes it seem like ALL bullying IS THE SAME for the SAME reasons.
And it’s not.
StraightGrandmother
January 25th, 2012
I am confused about who wrote the comment with a Forum Name of IAmPosterity. It is signed by Jim & Tim & Rob but the forum name is not theirs.
I agree that it is very important to get out to other websites and educate. For example that Psychiatrist who is a member of NARTH and misrepresented research, he made this statement
“THE RIGHTS OF THE SSA PERSON ARE STRONGLY PROTECTED IN THE UNITED STATES (THE RIGHT TO A FAIR WAGE, HOUSING AND SO FORTH).”
I said no they don’t. That in fact in 31 States it is legal to (then I gave examples of discrimination e.g.”We don’t hire dykes here” ). I swear to God he was not aware of this. This is what he then wrote
“I thank you sincerely, StraightGrandmother, for helping me to better understand the issue of fairness. If even one SSA person is discriminated against in the workplace or anywhere else in the public sector, which is subject to the society’s law, I stand with you in fighting against discrimination. We must protect the rights of all persons to lead a life of dignity and justice.”
So yeah IAmPosterity, we do need to be Constitutionally educated and help educate others. I don’t think this doctor was pulling my leg, he really thought that Sexual Minorities had all the same protections against discrimination that racial minorities have. He was pretty shocked to find out differently.
Here is a link to the article, his recognition of his error is on page 2.
http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/complementary_beings/
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