Box Turtle Bulletin
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobby“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbyDecember 27th, 2007
Do the ex-gays really set out to be parodies of themselves?
There’s a new movement to make church-going men more masculine. Michael Brewer, an ex-gay for 15 years, is going about telling these men about how he’s become oh-so-straight due to his clothes, watching sports, and manly activities.
You see, if you identify as a man, you’ll be hetero.
Oh, it’s well worth reading. It’s almost as good as a Britney Spears story or an episode of Janice Dickenson’s Modeling Agency. You’re not sure whether to laugh, feel pity, or think it’s all staged.
I had asked one brother to teach me some carpentry, he said no so I went to a different brother who is also a carpenter & asked if he & I could do a project together – yes! We built a bookcase for me together and that brother patiently answered my many questions about woodworking as our relationship developed!
OK, it’s probably not fair for me to mock too heavily! Sure my first job was helping in the family housing construction company, but I’m sure that a bookcase is a very manly project! For some!
Now I invite our gay readers to suggest what fun “masculine” activities they enjoy (or feminine activities for our Girly Girls) and whether they make you feel more hetero. And our straight readers might want to let us know if their non-gender conforming activities are leading them to try a little walk on the wild side.
Or maybe you have a Manly Man resolution for the new year.
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David
December 27th, 2007
It’s amazing to me how superficial and cultural ‘godly manhood’ can be. It has to do with clothing, conforming to cultural mores of emotional disaffection, sporting paraphernalia… how very Christlike. You know, that manly Jesus, snortin’ and spittin’ and playin’ football with the good ol’ boys… er, I mean the disciples.
Masculine activities? Although I’ve been told it’s fairly stereotypical (for being gay), I love hiking and exploring the outdoors: and I mean real, overnight, no-shower-or-electric-outlets when it comes to camping (I’ve been on one “camping” experience with a few gay friends and… oy). Those excursions contain most of my fondest memories. And I love fishing.
allan
December 27th, 2007
I think I’ll just continue being me. I can turn a wrench, a shovel and a hammer with the best of em’. As well as do some Fab design work, sing and dance.
And that’s just fine with me.
Trevor
December 27th, 2007
When I first heard of this type of “therapy” I almost thought it was a joke. I think it sprang out of the mistaken belief that homosexuality is the result of gender confusion. You can’t cure male homosexuality by engaging in stereotypical male behavior because there ARE no stereotypically male behaviors. On the contrary those behaviors are relative and depend largely on the society you were raised in.
However simply conforming or even deeply believing in an ultra-masculine identity won’t make you straight because what makes straight guys straight is what gender they’re attracted to, not what gender they believe themselves to be.
David Puranen
December 27th, 2007
Because being an ESTJ wil make you hetero!
I like rock music, actually I listen to mainly Christian artists… I love mosh pits, typically I’m the first one to get one going at a concert… I’ve also been known to lay in bed with three very attractive women… that’s pretty hetero right?
Jim Burroway
December 27th, 2007
I’ll have to come back later and answer this question when I have more time. We just got back from shopping and I’m just too tired to think!
Avery
December 27th, 2007
Why, we need look no further than Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood. It’s chock-full of intensely creepy Manly Man advice, and even has a bonus gay brother who died at the height of the AIDS crisis for that well-refined brand of “manly man” inferiority complex.
(I admit, I have made fun of it before.)
Emily K
December 27th, 2007
Crocheting is an ironically girly thing I do. I made several kippot (skullcaps) – including the one I wear daily of snoopy hugging woodstock. As a kid, I did both much woodworking and whittling, as well needlepoint and cross-stitch. I loved to sew and make costumes, pillows, and animals. (still do..) I loved working with sequins and glitter as a little girl. And I loved puppies and kittens and taking care of animals.
Erica B.
December 27th, 2007
Well, let’s see…
* I am a mechanical engineer
* own far more tools than my spouse
* can change my own oil (and flat tires)
* am a terminal video game addict
* like hiking and the outdoors…
but I’m straight (although apparently I would completely qualify for lesbianism, based only on activities)
I don’t feel much of a change in identity between sewing and discussing large factory equipment at work (power tools — SOOOOO MANLY!). However, there IS a difference in OTHERS perception — eyebrows are raised when I mention my job, replaced with relieved smiles when I mention, say, cooking. “Do Manly Things” therapy seems to be simply about convincing people that you are able to meet society’s stereotypes, and therefore are not gay.
Sadly, many people are close-minded (my nice-mood version of “stupid”) enough to believe that makes sense.
Peterson Toscano
December 28th, 2007
Apparently this manly man trend is not something that is big in the Church, but like so many foolish (and oft times dangerous) fashions and values upheld by the Church, the manly man movement gets more influenced by society than scripture.
Here is a lovely video about Retrosexual:
http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=8534
Michael
December 28th, 2007
Hmm…
-I ride a motorcyle
-I have an Eagle Scout badge
-I regularly play first-person shooters (video games)
And yet I still like guys. Oh, well.
Annie G.
December 28th, 2007
Oh my, I’m laughing so hard. See, I am one of four daughters, all heterosexual (genetic roulette turns out that way). My father eventually got over his yearning to have a son, and taught us all traditionally male skills.
If “learning “gender”ly skills could change your orientation, we’d all be lesbians.
neil h
December 28th, 2007
I’m straight and I read Cute Overload … :-)
Jason
December 28th, 2007
I spent a summer covered in sawdust, dirt, blood, sweat, bruises, and paint working at a theatre in the middle of the woods as an Assistant Technical Director. It didn’t make me feel more manly, just more tired.
I don’t know how many gay men I’ve met in the theatre who do set construction. Granted, it’s theatre, but it’s also woodworking and a lot of powertools. I would think that they would cancel each other out and we’d end up asexual or bisexual. Apparently not.
Jarred
December 28th, 2007
As a good friend of mine would say, what a fragile thing masculinity is in our society!
Samantha Davis
December 28th, 2007
I think I’ll just continue being me. I can turn a wrench, a shovel and a hammer with the best of em’. As well as do some Fab design work, sing and dance.
And that’s just fine with me.
See Allen, your problem is you’re trying to turn shovels and hammers! Sheesh, no wonder you’re gay.
Virginia
December 28th, 2007
As to the building the bookcase as a manly man project…….. I can only say that I have always enjoyed playing with “wood”.
GayMormonBoy
December 28th, 2007
“We built a bookcase for me together and that brother patiently answered my many questions about woodworking as our relationship developed!”
Hmm… building a bookcase as you develop you relationship with another man… How does this qualify in anyway as a “hetero male” activity? My boyfriend and I do stuff like that all time.
cowboy
December 28th, 2007
I find castrating sheep does heighten the hetero factor. (…insert audio of Tim Allen’s macho: Arrgh Arrgh Arrgh…here).
Then, around March or April the sheering of sheep is a bonding ritual with my manly kin and the male sheerers. That is, until we get all covered with lanolin and express how soft our skin feels and then I revert back to … being ME.
Timothy Kincaid
December 28th, 2007
I find castrating sheep does heighten the hetero factor.
but not for the sheep
cowboy
December 28th, 2007
Of course, for the rams it’s emasculating (also the name of the tool used).
And…pardon…it’s shearing…not sheering (my bad).
AM
December 28th, 2007
Gay woman here.
Mascara, mascara, mascara.
Red lipstick.
Immaculately plucked eyebrows.
Voluptous figure (born with).
And…you’re good to go as straight.
;-)
ross
December 28th, 2007
Poor ex-gays. That’s just about the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read. I was lucky enough to not be brought up in a religious family, so I avoided so much of this sadness and denial.
Oh, and as for manly man activities? I love violent video games and gory, terrible horror movies. (Of course there is a camp value with the latter, so it’s only half credit.) Otherwise I frequently just totally fag out!
Ephilei
December 29th, 2007
As a transgender male-queer, dressing in women’s clothing makes me feel masculine indeed; no joke. It’s an act of independence, boldly defying people telling me how to act and penetrating space with my own personality. It also means making myself less sensitive to those around me disapproving and disgusted.
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