Box Turtle Bulletin

Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
This article can be found at:
Latest Posts

Sex-Crazed Heterosexuals Defile Church Altar

Jim Burroway

March 22nd, 2008

Can you imagine the headlines over at Porno Pete’s if this couple had been a gay couple?

Police: Couple broke into church to have sex

SANDERSON, Florida — Deputies in Baker County arrested a couple caught having sex in a church.

Baker County Sheriff’s Deputies say they received a call about a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church, on the night of March 11th.

Deputies say they found a red Toyota pick-up truck and went inside the church.

“Her drawers [were] in the stands. Her brazier (sic) was over on the outside the stands,” Deacon Lonzie Altman recalled from his conversation with deputies.

According to the offense report, deputies found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar.

Rowland was taken into custody. She told deputies that Matthew Pearce, 28, was still inside.

Deputies found him underneath the church, partially dressed.

Red tea candles were also collected from the church. Deputies say there was splattered red wax all over the altar.

You know, every culture that has completely embraced heterosexuality has eventually come to an end. Is this a sign that ours is doomed?

Hat tip: Pam Spaulding.

Comments

POST COMMENT | COMMENT RSS 2.0 | TRACKBACK URL

Emproph
March 22nd, 2008 | LINK

Does a partial embrace count?

The 10 Worst Places to Get Caught Having Sex | Irascible Musings
November 14th, 2008 | LINK

[...] home, in Alabama, a couple was caught having sex on the altar in a Baptist Church, because sometimes humping in a confessional booth just [...]

the Sublime Blog » The 10 Worst Places to Get Caught Having Sex
February 4th, 2009 | LINK

[...] home, in Alabama, a couple was caught having sex on the altar in a Baptist Church, because sometimes humping in a confessional booth just [...]

Mahali popote! RUKSA??????? - JamiiForums |The Home of Great Thinkers
July 16th, 2009 | LINK

[...] hata hivyo tumeyasikia. Kanisani ni aibu na kukosa maadili hata hivyo tumesikia watu wanaenda church pews kutimiza haja zao za kimwili. Kitandani au chumbani kwa wazazi wako subiri ukamatwe ndo utajua [...]

10 WORST PLACES TO GET CAUGHT HAVING SEX « THE WAY I AM:
September 7th, 2011 | LINK

[...] home, in Alabama, a couple was caught having sex on the altar in a Baptist Church, because sometimes humping in a confessional booth [...]

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required)
(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.