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Sex-Crazed Heterosexuals Defile Church Altar

Jim Burroway

March 22nd, 2008

Can you imagine the headlines over at Porno Pete’s if this couple had been a gay couple?

Police: Couple broke into church to have sex

SANDERSON, Florida — Deputies in Baker County arrested a couple caught having sex in a church.

Baker County Sheriff’s Deputies say they received a call about a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church, on the night of March 11th.

Deputies say they found a red Toyota pick-up truck and went inside the church.

“Her drawers [were] in the stands. Her brazier (sic) was over on the outside the stands,” Deacon Lonzie Altman recalled from his conversation with deputies.

According to the offense report, deputies found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar.

Rowland was taken into custody. She told deputies that Matthew Pearce, 28, was still inside.

Deputies found him underneath the church, partially dressed.

Red tea candles were also collected from the church. Deputies say there was splattered red wax all over the altar.

You know, every culture that has completely embraced heterosexuality has eventually come to an end. Is this a sign that ours is doomed?

Hat tip: Pam Spaulding.

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Emproph
March 22nd, 2008 | LINK

Does a partial embrace count?

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