El Coyote: An Uncompromising Faith

Timothy Kincaid

November 12th, 2008

The Meeting
About 75 people showed up for the early lunch at El Coyote Cafe to listen to Marjorie Christoffersen explain her decision to contribute to the Yes on 8 Campaign. Most of those attending were men who had been customers of Margie’s restaurant for many years. Some were children of Mormons or had been raised in the faith. And while there was at least one who just wanted to vent his anger, most truly wanted to hear Margie out and, if possible, find a solution.

Before her presentation, Arnoldo, an employee of 28 years, expressed that the management doesn’t share her views and that she doesn’t talk politics or religion with her staff. All were allowed to believe, vote, or contribute as they wish. He received polite applause.

Then it was Margie’s turn.

The Message
Although Margie is usually a spry woman, today she was breathless, and distraught and appeared fragile, not an easy task for a woman of her height. She stood supported between her daughters and read a prepared speech – most of which had already been released.

She praised the restaurant as a beacon of diversity, people from all places and where everyone doesn’t have to agree, where they can get along even with differing views. She credited her aunt for being sympathetic to the plight of the “gay individual” before there was support and how the restaurant became a safe haven for “that community”. She told of visiting sick people and providing “a healing place”.

She explained that she had been a member of the Mormon Church all her life and that she had responded to their request with a personal donation. She shared that El Coyote had contributed to many gay interests and charities.

Margie told of the 89 employees whose families relied on their job. She expressed how customers were part of the Coyote family. She lamented that this situation could harm a place with such diversity and harmony and joy and mutual respect and diversity of viewpoints.

“It saddens me that my faith will keep some from coming to the Coyote. But I cannot change a lifetime of faith in what I believe deeply. And I cannot and will not change my love and respect for your views”.

She did not apologize or express remorse.

The Response
Billy Schoepner, the Maitre d’, announced that the restaurant would contribute an undetermined amount in the neighborhood of $5,000 to the Gay and Lesbian Community Center and to Lambda Legal. He also expressed an intention to run full page apologies in Frontiers, a gay magazine, and in LA Weekly, an alternative magazine.

But the crowd was more interested in Margie’s response than that of the restaurant.

The first question to Margie was if she would be willing to make a personal contribution to the efforts to reverse the proposition. She responded, “I have to be faithful to my views and my church”, and quickly left the room. Her daughters remained behind, looking angry, dismissive, and indignant that those there would question their mother or them. They answered no questions nor made any statements.

Lucile, a waitress that is much loved by some there, tearfully told how she felt that God had led her to El Coyote. It was there that she met and learned to love gay people, which prepared her to be supportive when her brother came out. She expressed her fears that if Coyote goes down, she goes down.

But it soon became apparent that those present had not been satisfied by Margie’s response or the concerns of the staff.

Our friend Regan stood and spoke about how she had been subject to many people saying wonderful and loving things to her, a black woman, but once she was out of sight they had a different story. She noted that Margie had entered fragile and trembling but had certainly had the strength to rush from the room. Regan was not impressed.

Many there were distressed to know that a tithe of their profits was given by the owners to the Mormon Church, an organization that planned, organized, and funded an effort to take away the civil rights of those who made her business successful.

An executive with the Trevor Project told how 1,200 to 2,000 kids call the suicide hotline each month and that most come from the Midwest and that many many of them were from Mormon families that kicked them out, ex-communicated them, and left them selling their bodies on the streets to survive.

Several people sought a solution. One suggested writing Margie letters to express how she had hurt them. Others wondered if an ongoing contribution to a gay support organization in an amount equal to the tithe she pays to the Mormon Church would not bring reconciliation. Some expressed a desire to help the staff find new jobs should they lose employment as the result of Margie’s stance.

But there seemed to be a consensus that as long as Margie was a visible part of the restaurant, those present could not eat there. She would have to at least stay home and distance herself from the business. Some insisted that she sell her interest in the establishment entirely.

Some with Mormon families told of the difficulty that comes with disagreeing with the Church. You lose all family and all friends and all hope of salvation. The Mormon faith does not allow for disagreement or dissent. Truly Margie had been put in a position by her church’s leadership that threatened her business and her happiness.

But one man spoke of how he was raised Mormon and his family is still in the church. He said that there comes a time when you have to decide whether to hold onto one particular doctrine of your church or whether you will refuse to harm those you know and love.

And sadly, Marjorie Christoffersen has made her decision.

It was a very sad room that left today. I did not speak to anyone who said that they would continue to patronize the restaurant. They felt that they could no longer profit a woman who used their support to take away their rights. Many felt betrayed, some had lost a home.

No one stayed for lunch.

UPDATE
Micah, blogging at Shut Up! I Know! was also present. His observations were similar to mine.

Earlier today the LA Times reported on the controversy

Bob Montoya, a manager at El Coyote, said customers have called and threatened to boycott the restaurant, but it does not appear to have affected business. Montoya said he thought a boycott, if one was called, was misguided, as the restaurant has a number of gay employees and has always been gay friendly.

“I”m gay and I work here, and I’ve been here for 31 years,” Montoya told The Times. “It’s gay friendly. People have been coming here for many years, gay and straight, families and everybody.”

Perhaps Bob has not noticed a change in business. But I drive home past El Coyote nearly every day. Last night the front parking lot was only about a quarter full, far less than usual.

John

November 12th, 2008

Thank you Timothy for this update. Actions have consequences, and her actions and unwillingness to acknowledge that gay people should be treated equally before the law may very well end up destroying her business. Her action, her customers’ reaction.

johnson

November 12th, 2008

It is so sad to see the position the LDS Church has put their members in, that of basically choosing between their faith or their gay family and friends. Now, in this case and the one in Sacramento, it has affected their businesses and livelihoods. It’s time for LDS members to stand up and say, Never Again–Don’t ever put us in this position again–Ever.

cowboy

November 12th, 2008

I was hoping for a better outcome. (sigh)

Thanks, Timothy Kincaid for your time and effort to report on this. Good job.

I don’t say this in any way being snarky or sarcastic: But maybe some Mormons need to frequent this business.

Scooter

November 12th, 2008

Tim, awesome report.

The comment about the indignation and anger from the daughters should resonate within the community. No reasoning, no talking, no “playing nice” with these people will change their future vote on the subject.

Their tawdry apologies in the gay rags is hollow and meaningless in light of this woman’s statements today.

BOYCOTT ON!!!

Another Tim

November 12th, 2008

Thanks for the recap. Sad for those workers… but I have no sympathy for Margie.

She is not facing a unique dilemma. Religions have present moral and ethical conflicts since the dawn of time — and she has made her choice to stick with the ignorance and hatred of the Mormon Church.

For her to stand up and not even offer an apology for slapping her loyal gay and lesbian patrons in the face is astounding and arrogant.

She continues to believe she is in the right. And I will NEVER return to her restaurant.

jOHN

November 12th, 2008

I just can not understand how people can use “their Faith” when we are talking about a civil issue. They have all the rights in the world to “their Faith” but “their Faith” should not be use as a reason to discriminate and make governmental decisions or laws. They are using “their Faith” as a way to give them and excuse to be allowed to hurt others!

This business should feel the pain and if it means closing then I am sure LA will not go hungry.

She made a decision to donate to a cause that she had “Faith” in. Maybe this will teach others to not follow so blindly.

Another Tim

November 12th, 2008

one more thought…

she has decided to judge US in the gay community.

so we can judge HER, based on her actions and her deeds.

pretty open and shut case.

saying “my religion made me do it” is not an argument, it’s an excuse for ignorance.

Adam

November 12th, 2008

It’s hilarious that supporters of 8 are all of a sudden surprised that they are receiving a backalsh for their position. I think they genuinely think that they had no choice but to support it because their church told them to. What a load of bullshit.

Cue entreaties for tolerance from those for their faith. Well, faith is a choice, and people have free will to take actions guided by faith. Choices and actions have consequences.

It’s doubtful that this woman or her family will feel compelled to sell their interest. As such, I will not be sad to see El Coyote fail. She has a duty to her employees, and this could have been easily avoided. Unfortunately, she decided to use our dollars to deny us our rights. This choice has consequences.

Stefano A

November 12th, 2008

Well… that seems to have gone pretty much as I expected. The only ones I have concern for in this situation are the gay el Coyote employees who now find themselves in the rock and hardplace of trying to find a way to support themselves somewhere else, or work for the owner of an establishment and a family that thinks they are not worthy them.

And as for the donation of the restaurant, I’m not sure what to make of that. If the owners aren’t contributing – and they are the restuarant, then where is that money coming from? Are there are owners/interest holders financially in the business? Did the employees take up a donation or something and then donate in the name of el Coyote?

kevin

November 12th, 2008

I have no doubt that when people like Margie or Scott Eckhern claim to have gay friends and family they love that they’re telling the truth.

But what they don’t tell you is that, despite “loving” the gays, they believe that gay people are unnatural, sinful, and choosing to be gay. Heterosexuality is the only “normal” option, and this is what their religion teaches.

People like Margie, if she had a gay son, probably wouldn’t think it so bad to commit him to a mental institution for being gay in hopes that they might cure him. Afterall, they “love us” and only want to “help us” with our sickness.

They only want to “do what’s good for us” because they can’t imagine a world where heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality exists on equal playing fields as a whole “het/bi/homo” sexual continuum.

If we’re not careful, they’ll love us straight into prisons, mental asylums, and bodybags as they have done, as we have seen them do, in the past.

AJD

November 12th, 2008

I can’t help comparing the “I’m not homophobic because I have a gay friend” like to “I’m not racist because I have a black friend.”

I think one of the most insidious forms of hatred is hatred disguised as love.

Matt

November 12th, 2008

Thanks Timothy for your update. I think it is clear that she has no apology for what she did. Along with not eating at El Coyote, let us unite in a visual protest to make our voices heard. We should not just sit back in complacency!

PROTEST TO BOYCOTT EL COYOTE:

Thursday, November 13th @ 7:00pm
El Coyote (7312 Beverly Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90036)

Bring signs & friends!

homer

November 12th, 2008

Why is it so hard to say “I am sorry”? Well, I guess you have to be sorry to say it.

werdna

November 12th, 2008

Thanks for your reports on this situation. At this point we’ve given Ms. Christoffersen ample opportunity to explain herself and she has. Now the decision about whether to boycott is clear: no more spending money at El Coyote.

It’s a shame that non-bigoted employees will also be affected, but that’s no reason to keep giving this family any money. We know where that money’s going and what it’s being used for. She made her bed and now she’ll lie in it.

jOHN

November 12th, 2008

This is an example of why I do not believe in organized religion. I find that in a lot cases it is about control and power which does seem to make it cult like. Between birth control and homosexuality I believe that the biggest problem is that those that subscribe to those are what the church would consider Free Thinkers and do not contribute to the growth of the church and it’s power. Why else would the LDS treat their gay children as outlaws and let’s face it if they could they would imprison them so there would not be anyone out there that to question them.

I mean these members will shun their own children in the name of the church so of course they do not care about their customers until they can’t make money off of them.

Maybe EC should sue the LDS for the loss of their business or file a claim for unemployement with the LDS. If the LDS was going to be loosing money they would care but I am sure they do not care about EC as much as Margie to send them money that was made from gay people!

Tavdy

November 12th, 2008

I had really hoped that this would not have to end in a boycott.

What is there that can be done for staff members when they start losing their jobs? Are there other LGBT-owned businesses in LA that can offer them jobs? Right now if I was working for El Coyote, I’d feel betrayed twice – it’s important for them to know they’ve got a safety net, especially given the current economic climate.

Ben in Oakland

November 12th, 2008

I think the whole thing is sad.

the saddest part is that she can see the difference between civil (in all senses of the word) views and religious views by welcoming gay people into her restaurant and being a contributing part of our community.

But she cannot see the difference between civil marriage, whether sanctioned by a church or not, and religious marriage, which concerns her church only. For her, marriage is sacred, so her viewpoint is “right”, at least according to her viewpoint. It does not allow for others to have a viewpoint of what’s sacred that differs from hers– for the circular reason that it is sacred.

Gay people are ultimately profane in some sense, not sacred. In everyday life, it doesn’t matter, so she can be warm and opening. however, when her idea of the sacred is touched, well, that gets her activated.

But that doesn’t mean it is really about the sacred at all. That’s just an excuse. I suspect she has little concern about the sacredness of marriage when it comes to divorce. I doubt she would donate money to re-criminalize adultery. That has been my experience with a lot of people who are anti-gay-marriage. They are really only worried about gay people getting married, not straightening out the heterosexual marriage and irresponsible reproduction mess.

Which tells me that what it is really about is a prejudice, not reality. Which of course is what it is always about. I won’t repeat myself this time. Ultimately, she believes the gay is no where near as good as straight, and that gay people should be treated differently. Her religion is just a drag show. And about as convincing.

To this lady from me: I don’t know you, or even much about you. As an active homosexual agendalist, I would beg to differ that gay is not as good as straight. but as long as I am aware that you don’t think so, and that you cannot let me live my life according to my principles rather than yours, if you think it is ok to pass ballot initiatives to force compliance with your idea of the sacred, well, don’t be surprised if I take my gay ass and my gay dollars and haul them both elsewhere. And please understand that I would not do it with hate or malice towards you, and I have no wish to victimize you. If other people do the same or don’t, I don’t really care. I would not make a campaign of it, unlike certain people I could name. I wish you neither success nor failure. If your actions means that your restaurant succeeds, good for you, and if it fails, I’ll be sad because I know how hard it is to build a business, and your employees will have to find new jobs. And you’ll probably be able to tell yourself that of course it was all right to support prop. 8, lookit-what-the-fags-did-to-me. Your victimization in your own mind will justify your prejudice.

But please understand, despite appearances, this really isn’t about you at all. I don’t know you, and I really don’t have too much energy to devote to people who just cannot get over my being gay, as if it were about you.

It’s all about me– Mr. Fag Everyman– saying to you: ENOUGH!

Ben in Oakland

November 12th, 2008

Don’t do a protest. just don’t go, and tell your friends. emails are free and generate no bad publicity. The protest is just not necessary.

Rob Lll

November 12th, 2008

Well then, that’s that.

Hearing her out was the right thing to do. But when someone inflicts harm on you and refuses to acknowledge it or apologize, then the relationship must end.

I especially have a hard time respecting someone who hides behind a church. You’re an adult, you have free will, and ultimately YOU are responsible for your actions.

Like I said in the previous thread, there are many gay-owned and gay-friendly restaurants in LA. Time to find a new hangout.

Joel

November 12th, 2008

DO NOT SUPPORT THIS RESTAURANT. As wonderful as it is that employees are supportive, the money goes into her pocket. I for one will not spend another dime until she is no longer profiting off of our money, while supporting efforts to kill our civil rights.

Scott VanTussenbrook

November 12th, 2008

I have a thought for Miss Marjorie — A good Mormon shouldn’t be making a living selling liquor, either. El Coyote is a restaurant, but let’s be honest here — nobody goes there for those Kal-Kan enchiladas — they go there because it’s a fun atmosphere and the margaritas are cheap and plentiful. If anything, it’s a tavern that also sells food.

If Marjorie is as close to her church as she says — that she’ll do whatever they ask her regardless of the consequences — why then is she ok selling tequila by the gallon, every night of the week? The same bishop who shook her down for that $100 should, if he’s doing his job properly, withhold her temple recommend for enabling sinners in their hellbound behavior, every time she opens for business. Why doesn’t he?

More “cafeteria Christianity” on display, business as usual.

Mikel McGrew

November 12th, 2008

It is time that business people learned an important lesson. the GLBT community CAN and SHOULD vote with their wallets. Why should we fund hate campaigns against our community. El Coyote may be a fine restaurant and gay people may work there, but its owner has helped the Mormon Church in their campaign against us. I for one won’t patronize places that hurt me and my community. Sometimes the only way to make people understand is to deny them our custom. No one forced Marjorie to be a Mormon or stay a Mormon. She has freely chosen to do this.

Sean Bishop

November 12th, 2008

Where do I go now? I will miss Coyote. Hey, why don’t we all go to El Conquistador after the Coyote rally? It’s in Silver Lake, similar.

Sean Bishop

November 12th, 2008

OR LUCY’S EL ADOBE across from Paramount on Smellrose.

MikeinSanJose

November 12th, 2008

Ya know, you hear the threats all the time from those in the church, but I can’t recall ever seeing ANYONE struck down by lightning for breaking one of their gawd’s rules. Pick a gawd, ANY gawd! No firebolts… except Zeus/Jupiter. Are you gonna try to tell me because it was written by some dude who has been dead for thousands of years, but by NO ONE ELSE in the last hundred years or so, that we should believe it? Has mankind really got that much better?

And the threat that doing the right thing on earth (actually treating others as you would want to be treated) would cause you eternal hellfire and damnation would probably make me look for another religious icon to worship.

Sadly, there are people who can’t seem to live without a “church”. And for those heavily dependent on intimate human interaction, being shunned, isolated, excommunicated, or declared (
the church of scientology uses this one) It can be hard to be alone all on a sudden. Especially when you depend on the cult for every aspect of your existence.

Regan DuCasse

November 12th, 2008

Ms. Marjorie is of exceptional stature, and I wasn’t buying that spell of the vapors for one second. She behaved as if she was facing a lynch mob, and literally made a hasty exist before she answered anyone’s questioned.

Oh dear oh dear…what IS a fragile lil thing like her to do now that all her gay friends have turned on HER?

Let me put it this way: she put whatever financial compromise on the staff all on those awful gay folks who won’t be spending their money there anymore.
If anyone loses their job, it’s the gay folk’s fault.

Just like all the fearmongering conjecture around what would happen if gay folks got married, well let’s see what will really happen if their patronage drains away from El C.

It never ceases to amaze me the depth of contradictions and projection that can come from the Marjie C’s of this country.

She didn’t have a difference of religious belief, her church invoked the power of the Constitution to get their way.
And all this trembling and teary eyed discomfiture before us, was the UTMOST in canny betrayal.
She knew what she was doing, she didn’t REALLY care.

She spoke to the gay folks present as if they were HER PETS.
Not fully realized citizens like herself with famiilies to care for and bills to pay.

And no one wants or expects their pets, or children to bite them after a whipping.
She committed one of the worst betrayals a person can commit. Saying one thing to the face, while doing something that says you’re NOT my family, one of us…when no one is looking.

She has two faces, not one.
And if members of the gay community don’t want to look at the face she’s been showing them all these years, so be it.
Gay people PAID to have the service she rendered in the restaurant, and it would have been illegal for the place to refuse any.
THAT would have been discrimination of the easiest kind.

Now she commits discrimination of the worst kind, where one is harder pressed to fight her or have it reversed.
Did she consider the trembling, the weeping, the sadness and heartsickness of all the gay couples now whose marriages are in limbo, if not voided?

Did she consider the lost hope for gay youth to build their lives around?

As I said before, it wasn’t her faith that bought her her freedom as a woman, or business person or wife. It was the Constitution.
And her act was an insult TO the Constitution, and every person in the room who has enriched her life.

I wouldn’t engage in sign carrying or shouts from the sidewalk. Just don’t go. Don’t go…and as she voted and wrote a check under cover of the privacy of the ballot booth and church pew. She can’t do anymore finger pointing than she did this morning.

Thanks Tim, it was great to see your handsome face today. Love you bro!

Lost Spaniard

November 12th, 2008

Thank you very much for the detailed report. I am not gay myself, married with child, but my brother-in-law is gay and does frequent El Coyote. It’s a darn shame that Marjorie would let $100 represent her beliefs and the fact that she chose not to appologize for this donation/gesture, especially when she created the opportunity to do so is simply poor judgement. If El Coyote is her life and it helped pay her bills and send her kids to college, she needs to take care of the loyal customers, ALL customers. Religion is good for the soul, good for brining together friends and keeping the family strong, but if religion starts to impose itself on others by excluding them, is that not hypocracy? Appologize Marjorie, please! You are a good person and God will save a place for you in due time, but for now, while still on earth, you must take care of your fellow man.

Cy Vance

November 12th, 2008

As a gay person in a 10 yr relationship, sure I’m disappointed in the vote. However, the actions of one person doesn’t warrant this type of conviction. El Coyote welcomes all. and I for one still feel welcome. I’m still a loyal customer.

Cy Vance

November 12th, 2008

>>Oh dear oh dear…what IS a fragile lil thing like her >>to do now that all her gay friends have turned on HER?

Sorry Regan DuCasse, but she still (and the staff) has us as gay friends.

Heather Trenski

November 12th, 2008

This is america and we all have the right to vote the way we want. You are trying to change someones mind on how they feel and that is not right. Its a free country. Do you want someone bothering you about changing how you feel!! No. Margie didnt make you go to el coyote you went on your own. Did she ever say that she supported gay marriage? No. You just assumed that she did. EL Coyote is for the public just not the gays. And quite frankly other places wont allow some of the behavior ive seen displayed there. So go to your other places. You are further seperating yourselfs. There are so many people that voted againest you. Your brother, mother, bankers, dry cleaners. etc. I VOTED FOR YOU. Be happy though you did change my mind I AM SORRY I VOTED FOR YOU.

Scott VanTussenbrook

November 12th, 2008

Heather —

Nobody is trying to change Margie’s mind. You’re right, it’s a free country, she’s free to donate to and vote for whomever she wants. We, too, are free not to give money to people who will turn around and use it against us. Simple as that.

I’m sorry you’re sorry you voted for us. This is going to be a long struggle, I think, and it’s not going to be pretty. If you don’t have the stomach for it, then maybe you are in fact in the wrong place. We’re going to need friends who will stand by us. With more friends like you, we wouldn’t need enemies, and we’ve already got plenty of those. – S

PoFool

November 12th, 2008

I’m Gay. I’m christian. I have grown up with many mormon friends and still have mormon friends – they are good people. Everything that has gone down with Prop. 8 really sucks, while, at the same time, this has given us an opportunity to open up conversations with our families, friends and strangers – conversations that may never have happened, but really needed to had Prop. 8 failed. We need to let those who are misguided know the truths we stand behind. We also need to find it in our hearts to forgive. We NEED the anger NOW to propel us through the rallies, protests, vigils … (God knows I’ve been to my fair share in the past week). Let’s get PROP. 8 overturned and then forgive those that have been led all their lives by LIES and doctrines of intolerance.

…I do believe the Mormon leadership are to blame. The do spew lies and complete absurdity to there congregations.

Elaygee

November 12th, 2008

Violation of our Comments Policy.

Christopherâ„¢

November 12th, 2008

I concur with Ben that a protest is counterproductive, and will only engender sympathy from Prop 8 supporters.

So, for those of you thinking this is going to be a cool way to get all “activisty”… well, it’s a classic case of gilding the lily. We on the No side need to play this game much more intelligently than we are currently doing, and a protest in this particular case will just make things worse.

So PLEASE, people, use your heads. Just because it’s easy to create an event with Facebook doesn’t mean you need to.

Leaving in droves along with all your friends… now that’s smart. Just email your friends to stop going, and even link to this article if any of them have hesitations. Then find another Mexican place to congregate.

I recommend Casita del Campo, as they’re already gay-friendly. More importantly, the food is good!

FunMe

November 12th, 2008

For a really cool restaurant:

MARIX

And it’s owned by 2 lesbians.
AND it’s in the heart of West Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd.
Need I say more?

Diogenes

November 12th, 2008

I’ve been a patron of El Coyote for 33 years. I will never again set foot in that establishment.

And I don’t know about Marjorie being “breathless”…when I was there this past Monday afternoon she was having a pretty heated “discussion” with someone at a table.

Devlin Bach

November 12th, 2008

Boycott is crucial and easy in the Utah Mormon sitution and El Coyote restaurant. Many things could change because of it.
Seems Mormon Marge would rather experience insanity than reality, and has sealed her fate and the fate of her family business.
I am insensed about the poor Mormon children being tossed in the streets.
Thanks for the updage Timothy.
How do you personally feel about a boycott after listening today?

Ben in Oakland

November 12th, 2008

Heather: this is what I wrote to the lady. Rest assured it is true,

” I don’t know you, or even much about you. As an active homosexual agendalist, I would beg to differ that gay is not as good as straight. but as long as I am aware that you don’t think so, and that you cannot let me live my life according to my principles rather than yours, if you think it is ok to pass ballot initiatives to force compliance with your idea of the sacred, well, don’t be surprised if I take my gay ass and my gay dollars and haul them both elsewhere. And please understand that I would not do it with hate or malice towards you, and I have no wish to victimize you. If other people do the same or don’t, I don’t really care. I would not make a campaign of it, unlike certain people I could name. I wish you neither success nor failure. If your actions means that your restaurant succeeds, good for you, and if it fails, I’ll be sad because I know how hard it is to build a business, and your employees will have to find new jobs. And you’ll probably be able to tell yourself that of course it was all right to support prop. 8, lookit-what-the-fags-did-to-me. Your victimization in your own mind will justify your prejudice.

But please understand, despite appearances, this really isn’t about you at all. I don’t know you, and I really don’t have too much energy to devote to people who just cannot get over my being gay, as if it were about you.

It’s all about me– Mr. Fag Everyman– saying to you: ENOUGH!

Devlin Bach

November 12th, 2008

MARIX is on Flores street, a few doors off Santa Monica to the North. Great tex mex.

I am having professional fund raisers say that a boycott of anything, usually doesn’t work well in the long run, fire hitting fire and all. Demonstrations and legal intelligence will get the prop 8 overturned better than anything. I somewhat agree, but people have really had it so I understand wanting to fight and fight hard and dirty.

a. mcewen

November 12th, 2008

I know I don’t live in California but allow me to put my opinion down on this matter.

I am with Ben. An organized protest/boycott would only elicit sympathy.

A decision not to cater El Coyote and an email tree on the decision not to cater El Coyote would definitely be something that gets your point across and takes away any chance of the restaurant looking like a martyr.

The owner has the right to donate to whomever she wants, but you all as consumers have the right to go elsewhere.

Diogenes

November 12th, 2008

I call on our many straight friends to support this boycott as well.

Timothy Kincaid

November 12th, 2008

Devlin,

How do you personally feel about a boycott after listening today?

That depends on what is meant by “boycott”.

Personally, I’m done. There are plenty of other places to go, though I will miss El Coyote.

But I’m not sure whether I will participate in an official boycott or protest. Those can be quite successful if your target is small, if you have control over a sizable part of the profits, and if you have an exit strategy.

This is a managable target. We really could seriously harm this business – if a picket went on for long enough, it would kill them. In addition to gay folk, Coyote caters to gay-friendly folk. No Mormons or homophobes ever go there. And most patrons would go elsewhere if confronted with evidence that the establishment’s ownership favors second class citizenship for gays.

But the question is whether a boycott has an exit strategy. Does it have a goal other than “hurt Margie”? Is there anything stated that we could accomplish? Is there something she could do to end the boycott and show that we had won?

Without a goal or strategy, I probably would be disinclined to protest or to join a boycott.

But you better know that I will be telling my friends that we won’t be going to Coyote. And our office won’t be going out for a margarita after work to Coyote. And the straight folk I work with are horrified and won’t go. Etc.

Fritz

November 12th, 2008

For many years, I lived at Beverly and N. Gardner. My friends and I would walk the two blocks to El Coyote in a large group and get hammered on the cheap margaritas and then choke down the horrible food.

I have many fond memories of the place.

Sadly, the place will die without young LGBT customers and the young people who live in the apartment buildings in the neighborhood. Many of the locals work in the entertainment industry and won’t stab their gay friends and co-workers in the back.

kevinbgoode

November 12th, 2008

“I have to be faithful to my views and my church”, and quickly left the room. Her daughters remained behind, looking angry, dismissive, and indignant that those there would question their mother or them.
========================================

Of course. . .because everyone knows that only heterosexuals are allowed to be indignant and angry when they feel like their family is on the defensive.
Since their “church” told them that we are somehow engaging in “counterfeit” relationships, how surprisd they must have been to discover that we defend our own families too.

disgusted American

November 12th, 2008

Doesn’t anyone who feels sorry for this lady Margorie remember that in the early 1960’s – blacks BOYCOTTED a southern Bus company in ALambama I think for a year…and THEY WON. They walked,and car pooled for those who had cars…and NO ONE took the bus..they stuck together! They stood up to injustice! Injustice that had the backing of White religions…sometimes playing hardball works.

Louie

November 12th, 2008

Okay, so the 40+ people that left comments to the effect that they will not eat at El Coyote because of Margie’s anti-equality stance is fine.

But, without a visible picket/protest how will you get the word out to the rest of the LGBT/allied community that has never heard of BTB and the anti-equality stance of the owners and that their good money will help fund anti-equality?

Let’s try this example: There’s a laundry service that sends part of its earnings to the Nazi party. You are a Jew, find out that this laundry service is supporting those that are against you and you decide to find a new laundry service. Yet, do not tell other Jews.

How is this right?

Louie

November 12th, 2008

It seems that for many people to “get the message” you have to aim for their pocket book and not their heart.

You tried Margie’s heart and that didn’t work.

Now on to Plan B.

Protest. Picket. Visibility. Let ALL the people know that the owners of El Coyote do not believe in equal civil rights for all of California’s citizens.

No one has to be mean about it. Just civilized, courteous Ghandi/King type of protest.

Examples of how the $20 Million Mormons gave to Prop. 8 could have helped feed the hungry vs. enshrine discrimination into the California Constitution.

Barry

November 12th, 2008

I have zero tolerance for the narrow racist minds of Marjorie and people like her. I will not step foot in El Coyote and will do my best to spread this newsletter around.

The place isn’t that great a loss really, its just food and we have plenty of restaurants we can eat at that believe we deserve the same rights as everyone else.

Aaron

November 12th, 2008

Look, Marjorie followed her conscience. It just told her something different than yours and mine.

Ours said, “Prop 8 would yank a fundamental right from a deserving, loving group of Americans.” Hers said, “I want gays/lesbians to have identical legal protection, but I feel that any corruption of the man-woman household — divorce, parental apathy, porn addiction, the broad acceptance of gay marriage — will negatively impact my community.”

Hissing at her, hurling epithets, boycotting her tacos, what’s that doing? For whatever reason, the “No” campaign didn’t move her, didn’t prick her conscience. The “Yes” side did.

Do we want Marjorie to make political decisions based on what’s good for business? Of course not. We want her to vote her conscience. We should be working to change it.

Christopherâ„¢

November 12th, 2008

Louie, there’s this amazing thing called email.

And text messaging.

And Facebook.

Obama used all of them aggressively, especially the last two, and it worked wonders for harnessing new voters.

Those tools are available to us, too.

If you think just using email is ineffective… consider this: Protests against Prop 8 were scheduled in San Diego purely by email. 1000 people were expected. 7000 showed up.

We’re in a Web 2.0 world now.

Sportin' Life

November 12th, 2008

They ALL have “best friends who are gay”. It’s simply amazing, isn’t it?

Timothy Kincaid

November 12th, 2008

For whatever reason, the “No” campaign didn’t move her, didn’t prick her conscience. The “Yes” side did.

Well, that’s not quite accurate.

She wasn’t “moved” by the Yes side. She was part of the Yes side.

Sandy

November 12th, 2008

It’s incredible that people can blame the leadership of any organization for the beliefs of the memebers. We do not follow blindly as some think. Why can’t we have Gay friends and relitives. If we don’t agree should we stay on the other side of the street and say ..ewwwww we can’t like them. Sooo kindergarten! They dont chose my life style and I don’t chose thiers. It seems crazy that some question my loyalty to my friends and family that are gay, wihout prescribing to thier choices. And YES..I am LDS. I work, play and associate with gay people. I love them. It’s not a disease or a race…they are people, as we are people. Many religions were involved…why target one religion? If somone needed help I can garuntee you that we would NOT ask if you were gay or straight, black, white or purple or blue! And most of all. If the vote were to have gone the other direction… we wouldnt be yelling HATERS and sinners to the world. I do and will always love my friends..I dont care what they are. However I still beleive in traditional marriage. Thats why we live in this great land…so we have the freedoms to vote how we feel.

Jhon

November 12th, 2008

This is the destruction that is caused by religious tyranny and it’s drones. People do things that harm other people, than those opressed fight back. People get hurt and relationships fall apart. Nobody in this situation wins. It’s very sad but seems to be a necessary turn of events.

Patrick

November 12th, 2008

@Sandy

You love your friends so much you would deny them the same rights you have.

You didn’t get to vote on how you feel. You voted to take away the rights of a group of people. This wasn’t “check this box if you feel happy and check this box if you feel sad”. It was “check this box if you think this group should have the same rights as you, check this box if you think this group should not have the same rights as you.” You were not voting on your religious beliefs, you were voting on another group’s civil rights. Why is that so hard for people like you to understand? This is prejudice, pure and simple. I don’t think you would take it gracefully if people voted to remove your right to marry. Think about it Sandy, think about it. You violated the Golden Rule. You transgressed Jesus’ explicit teachings.

julie

November 12th, 2008

I am a lesbian and used to work for El Coyote. I worked there for 8 years and I know Margie. She is a very sweet woman. Let me be clear that I don’t agree with the $100.00 that she gave to the Mormon Church, but I really do believe she was unaware of the consequences. I want to share with you the good things she has provided for her employees…medical insurance, dental insurance, paid vacation and Christmas bonuses. There’s something we all have to remember here…there are other companies out there who gave a hell of a lot more money then she did… We live in a country, USA, the land of the free. Freedom of speech. We have a right to vote how we feel. That is what America is all about. I agree with everyone’s outrage that a 8 passed.We need to focus on how to overturn this.
Instead of focusing on a mom and pop operation, we should also look at the other much larger companies that poured thousands and possibly millions of dollars into passing prop 8. If we would picket them and make them realize that we have a very large voice out there, maybe we could persuade them to think differently.
Focus on how we can get this put into law. Focus on the lawmakers and the general public. We need to educate people not persecute them, because then we are no better than they are.

DW

November 12th, 2008

We have choice in this country. Because she made a choice that we don’t like (and will be changed one day) we don’t try to destroy someone’s business. That is wrong and only adds conflict with no resolution. She is a nice person with some outdated opinions but ones she has been taught by her church. Be nice everyone. She tried to make amends which is more than a lot of people do. NO BOYCOTT

Patrick

November 12th, 2008

“but I really do believe she was unaware of the consequences.”

Then she could have apologized and repented. She had a chance to repent after learning of the consequences and didn’t. Enough said.

Kith

November 13th, 2008

To people who say “leave her alone, she just exercised her choice.” Consider that people who are boycotting her and just “exercising their choice” as well.

Freedom of Speech, has never meant freedom from consequences of speech. The balance to unlimited free speech was the tempering of societal pressure, this is why the founding fathers where able to grant free speech without flinching. They knew that you would be free to say whatever you want, but at the time everyone was aware the wrong speech might exclude them from polite company. Now then when the spending of money was declared free speech, the same temper needed to be placed on it. This means people are free to give $100 or $1,000,000 to a political campaign, but such speech was to be made available for public review, they made sure that such “speech” couldn’t be private. So now we see the very reason for such protections.

She was free to exercise her speech, giving $100 to the Yes on 8 campaign, which she did with no outside interference, the government didn’t pass laws to prevent it, no one broke into her house to tear up the check, her accounts where not frozen by a financial insinuation who may have disapproved, no constable showed up on her door step or drafted a tersely worded letter. Thus is the protection of her rights to speech, none of which inoculates her from the consequences of her actions. Those consequences turn out to be a raw sense of betrayal in her and the feelings that engenders. It may very well be the loss of her business, that is the risk of any who put themselves in the public sphere. While it may be a tragedy, while it may seem cruel, that is the price of irresponsible speech and the balance to free speech.

Too long it has been accepted that freedom of speech has left us free to say what ever we want without consequences. This NEEDS to change, and the sooner the better for society. We must return to a world where we are free to say whatever we want but are fully aware that we are being judged by our speech. We must be free to say whatever we want but be wise enough to temper what we say, and in the end be willing to accept the consequences of all our speech, especially when it effects others.

Tony D\'

November 13th, 2008

The owner of El Coyote, Marjorie Christofferson, has the right to feel as she wishes. It is HER decision. Not the Church’s or anyone else’s-HERS! How stupid and hateful for her to act that way, not even considering her staff and customer base’s feelings. She is not a friend to either. Just as she decided to share her money with people that were planning to spread their message to others, so shall we. I will personally continue to share my feelings about how I feel about her actions to all my friends and colleagues. I will e-mail my message to everyone in my vast e-mail list. I will post messages and signs asking people to help us support the campaign to renounce Prop 8 by boycotting businesses that contributed to the “Yes on 8[YO8]” lie-campaign. Unlike hers, mine is not a message of hate, but of “retributive education.”
In the spirit of sharing, allow me to share this link, where you will find a list of all major donors to YO8 and their contact info, with you: http://californiansagainsthate.com/dishonorRoll.html

Mikel McGrew

November 13th, 2008

People such as Cy Vance who continue to consort with the enemy are one reason it has taken so long to gain the rights we DO have. How much self-loathing does it take to patronize a place of business that has spent your money to harm you? Cy, dear, El Coyote welcomes your MONEY, not you as a human being on the same equal level as a good Mormon. By all means, hold your wedding reception there once Proposition 8 is declared unconstitutional. You can get Marjorie to cut the cake!

Jason D

November 13th, 2008

“saying “my religion made me do it” is not an argument, it’s an excuse for ignorance.”

It’s more than that, it’s a denial of responsibility.

We are responsible for the good and the evil we do to our fellow man.

Would Jesus ignore people’s suffering? Especially those he had made suffer??

Jason D

November 13th, 2008

She respects our views, but not us.

Marjorie, like a lot of bigots don’t get that THIS is what they’re saying:

“My church says you should be stabbed in the back. I believe you should be stabbed in the back. I support people who want to stab you in the back. I gave money to help those people stab you in the back. I voted for stabbing you in the back. It sucks that you got stabbed in the back, but I respect you. Please respect me and my views.”

And they don’t see how saying “sure, no big deal.” would be complete and total insanity on our part.

craig

November 13th, 2008

I am appalled that she could be so heartless to contribute to something so separatist, so divisive to the gay community, especially when the majority of her patrons, are gay, is beyond comprehension. Her mea culpa is phony and it’s time for her restaurant to close, forever… A chapter in this evil must stop, and her phony allegiance is proof of it…

Regan DuCasse

November 13th, 2008

I don’t especially like El Coyote’s food.
I’ve noticed that changing Marjie’s consciousness is going to be hard if SHE’S NOT THERE.

She fled quickly after her statement and gave no one an opportunity to talk to her.

Other venues such as churches and schools are closed to such an idea as actually meeting and dialogue with gay people and their supporters.

The conservative media is saying the gay people are SILENCING the opposition.
The truth is, the opposition has gone missing. They aren’t around to speak directly to the very people they have made problems for.

When a person of faith votes AGAINST the happiness and security of another person. Their ability to function fully as a citizen, person with someone to care for…THAT is not the consciousness of fairness. This is not, again, a difference of opinion, it’s the force of government to exclude people FROM doing what every citizen does and should do.

She has responsibilities, well, gay folks do too.
Did she not consider that what she did is a FAR MORE profound betrayal than anything she could do to her church?

Is THEIR punishment more fearsome than anything the gay community could do to her?

There will be gay folks who will remain loyal to El C.
That’s fine.

But it’s Marjie who fled from facing who she betrayed. And she DID betray a trust.
And she DOES address gay people like pets.

My best friend M stood up as best man for a wedding between a once divorced Jewish man, and his Catholic, Mexican American bride.
They have been friends for years, and M felt himself close to this couple.

Well, the groom voted YES.
And that has damaged the trust between them. Probably irreparably.
M was very hurt, saying S had me stand up at his wedding, but he doesn’t want to see ME have the same chance?!

Fair question.
S, for all intents and purposes of reliigous control, wouldn’t have been able to marry HIS bride.
First, because of their mixed situation and him having a divorce on his record.
No church or temple would have married them.

But they ARE legally married in the eyes of the state and world.

So S’s betrayal was similar to Marjie’s.
He benefitted from a gay man who he was willing to see reduced to less opportunity than HE had.
A real friend wouldn’t do that.

It’s that simple. If Marjie loses her gay ‘friends’ along the way. It’s not because gay people were unreasonable.
It’s because they know NOW, she’s not the friend she SAYS she is.

Her ACTIONS spoke louder than her words.

Tim Hulsey

November 13th, 2008

The important thing is not to let our demands for accountability end with El Coyote.

Alan

November 13th, 2008

My 2¢ on boycotting gay haunts that chose to Yes the 8 is to:
1. Identify the place.
2. Confirm that a donation to Yes was, in fact, made and by someone who runs/owns the place.
3. Just boycott it indefinitely with NO picketing, no communication, no press release…

Why?

Because, if you haven’t figured it out yet, people who voted YES on 8 aren’t what you’d call thinkers. And each and every instance I’ve read, watched on TV, heard in podcasts of a No on 8er plying facts, logic, history, common sense on a Yes on 8er… all you get back from a Yes on 8er is irrational, illogical stonewalling.

I say less talk, more action. Idenitify the Yes on 8 supporting business, confirm the support, NEVER go there again – let them eat silence and notice the drop in business. And spend your dollar at an establishment on record for supporting gays and voting NO on 8.

Devlin Bach

November 13th, 2008

Timothy, I meant about holding back your money from El . . . I don’t think protesting is the way to go there.

Considering Margie’s age, and the fact we live in a terribly homophobic country, and the fact most str8 people really don’t “get” gay sex n relationships and think they are at best, a laughable no brainer, and the fact marriage has been burned into most brains for thousands of years as one man one woman, and there is virtually little to no authentic sex education in this country, we’re doing pretty damn good, slow but good.

Jonathan

November 13th, 2008

Thanks for sharing your observations Timothy! I’m so conflicted about this one. I love El Coyote! And my experience has always been excellent there. I also grew up in an incredibly religious household where diversity of thought was not allowed and you followed the dictates of the church. In that regard, I can understand the owner’s actions. I also am aware that I patronize many organizations whose owners may donate to causes and organizations that I am opposed to. But it doesn’t make it any easier to digest.

I do feel that the restaurant has at least made an effort to counter-act what the owner has done. That’s helpful to me. But it still leaves me conflicted!

j.

Preston Taylot

November 13th, 2008

Excellent article! Thank you for keeping us informed. I have patronized the Coyote for many years. Not one more cent until I know Marjorie is gone. MONEY TALKS – Boycott all businesses who contributed to Prop H8.

David

November 13th, 2008

PS Thanks for your insights and updates Timothy, they are greatly appreceiated.

Jonathan, I know exactly what you mean about being conflicted. But then, when a child steals after being told no several times, sometimes that moves to being spanked. They then learn boundaries instead of continuing with scattered illegal actions, which they then return love to the parents who make them feel like they matter, a good outcome.
We have had our gay rights stolen from repeated offenders called Adult Children of Religious Discrimination, that react from childish intent. Would you think maybe a good spanking is now in order due to repeated underhanded covert offenses?

Mrs. B

November 13th, 2008

i don’t think boycotting the restaurant is the best answer to this sorrowful situation. the boycott won’t really affect the owner, but the staff…..and it’s not that easy to find “another job” these days and if an employee has put in time somewhere, the job is most likely a good fit….so, i don’t think we should have the regular working folks suffer.

remember there are gay people who work there and people who love and cherish gay people who work there. let’s not bring an additional slap in the face to our gay community by taking away their rights and then their livelyhood.

TomATL

November 14th, 2008

For those who don’t think that not going to the restaurant won’t hurt the owners much… let me put in my 2 cents.

The restaurant business has horribly low margins. Keep in mind that I don’t have any knowledge of their financial situation, but here’s a brief look at how it may affect them. The national average of pre-tax margin is about 4%, depending on the type of restaurant. That’s before the economy tanked and everyone cut back on discretionary spending. Also, beverages have much higher margins than just about all other foods served. If one out of every 25 patron stops going, especially if he/she consumes more beverages than the average El Coyote patron, it’d be disastrous for the restaurant. Imagine what might happen if virtually all GLBT or GLBT-friendly customers stop going there. If you’re further inclined to believe that the GLBT crowd consumes somewhat more alcoholic beverages than the typical El Coyote patron, then it would further decrease their margin.

All the fixed costs are still there even if business drops – rent, liquor license, utilities, etc. I’ve known restaurants that have up to 40% of their revenue tied up in their fixed costs.

There’s the labor cost, both back and front of the house. These can be cut in proportion to the drop in customers, but they don’t serve haute cuisine. Therefore the kitchen staff are not composed of high-priced chefs, and are probably paid little more than minimum wage. The waitstaff? I’d be shocked if they’re paid minimum wage by the restaurant.

They may be popular enough and have crazy margins that a drop in GLBT patronage would be made up by other people desperate to get seats at the restaurant. But in this economy, and with the segment that El Coyote falls under, I really don’t see any way they can survived as they are if they experience a prolonged 10%+ decrease in business.

Ostiarius

November 14th, 2008

“…once Proposition 8 is declared unconstitutional.”

Constitutional amendments can’t be declared unconstitutional. If Ron George and his three stooges so much sniff at the ridiculous “revision not an amendment” argument then it will make it that much easier for us to recall them starting in 2010.

Ostiarius

November 14th, 2008

“…people who voted YES on 8 aren’t what you’d call thinkers.”

Please. I have an advanced degree from the UCSD mathematics department and the books on my shelf would make your head asplode. I voted yes on 8 because it was a vote for right reason and judicial restraint. “Fundamental rights” are not those rights which were conjured out of thin air less than six months ago by four judges. So sorry.

Rob Lll

November 14th, 2008

“I have an advanced degree from the UCSD mathematics department and the books on my shelf would make your head asplode.”

Gosh! Did they make your head “asplode”?

If so, it would explain a lot…

Wiliam Bednarz

November 15th, 2008

The sadness is that people have refused to accept democracy….Prop 8 was voted on DEMOCRACTICALLY -.- the people whichever side you look at won.
The problem is that We as Americans are a passive people – allowing all sorts of things we disagree with continue -.- Illegal Immigration on the basic that they come here to make a better life for themselves STILL ILLEGAL (last time I looked – PASSIVE).
I’ve heard people want to call ?.? a GayDay?.? where they don’t go to work – if they were fired they would complain about that -.-
To Start Boycotts Against A Legal Vote ?.?

Ben in Oakland

November 15th, 2008

Bednarz– the vote ,may have been legal, but the motivation behind it was sheer bigtory.

Fr. J.

November 16th, 2008

Ben,

Any idiot knows that no one can know the motivations of another person. So, going around and telling people that they are bigots just doesnt work.

I disagree with you. I love you, and I am not a bigot.

Timothy Kincaid

November 17th, 2008

William,

It is yet to be determine whether the vote was legal. You see, we don’t live in a “democracy”. We live in a constitutional democratic republic. Mob rule isn’t our form of government.

52% of the population could not, for example, vote to deny the right to vote to African Americans or the right to assemble to Jews or the right to free speech to women.

I know that you might not think that sexual orientation is similar to race, religion, or sex, but the Supreme Court of California does.

manaen

November 18th, 2008

Timothy Kincaid,re your comment: “Mob rule isn’t our form of government.”
.
Huh? Then the demonstrations and boycott are to *support* Marjorie’s right to think, vote, and contribute independently of others’ contrary opinions? The traffic was *not* stopped by a mob for a couple hours?
Those “Mormon Scum” and “Latter-day Hate” banner wavers were protecting our religious freedom *against* mob rule?

Timothy Kincaid

November 18th, 2008

Manaen,

We live in a constitutional democratic republic which allows for protest and freedom of speech (that’s the constitutional part). But while demonstrations and boycotts are part of our civil inheritance, they are not our form of government.

Gay Mormon

November 19th, 2008

Talk about intimidation??? This is the very reason why people don’t take gays seriously. Yes, I am greatly saddened by the stance “my” people have taken with El Coyote and Marjorie.

Cleo J.

November 23rd, 2008

Ah, holy crap. This so totally sucks.
From 1979 to 1997 I lived in L.A. being a struggling actor/dancer. I lived in the area and El Coyote was a big part of my life and I have nothing but fond memories of the place.
It’s one of the places I truly missed when I loved to another state.
At least 3 times a year I come back to L.A. and Coyote is one of the places I always go. I love and miss the food, the crowd, the place…and the margaritas.
On my fridge I have a postcard of an artist’s rendition of the restaurant.
When my friend (who worked up the street at Television City and would frequent the Coyote for lunch…a lot) sent me an e-mail telling me that the manager gave money for Prop 8, I felt as if I found out that an old friend that I thought I knew was in the KKK.
He told me that there was going to be a boycott of the restaurant. To which I agreed.
Then I thought about it:
Marge gave $100. Once.
The restaurant has been SUPPORTING the community for how long???
Decades. DECADES.
Plus, the restaurant is giving $5000 to the Community.
WTF, people. WTF!?!
If she’s a Mormon in her private life, then that’s her life. That’s her belief. Which I so totally don’t agree with, but I understand that she’s old and with Mormons those beliefs are indoctrinated from birth. She doesn’t want to be turned on by her church community. (And they’re like that. I know Mormons.)
Look. She gave $100 to a despicable piece of legislature. Her BUSINESS has made up for it in spades and will be donating, like, $5000 to the Community! Which I’m sure doesn’t make her church very happy. Which is really good!
As much as I hate her private donation, I think her business has made up for it and I’m going to support her business.
I’m going to support the people who work there and have families to support.
These are crappy times for people to be out of work and I’m going to support THEM.
I’m NOT supporting Marjorie.
I AM supporting her employees.

Marco Luxe

November 25th, 2008

A boycott of LDS members/tithers is the best way to get the attention of the old white sequestered men at the head of the church. Boycott Utah tourism. Boycott LDS businesses. {anyone have a good list?} The LDS church is thoroughly hierarchical: all issues go to SLC for a decision by prophet/ceo Monson [profit?]. Once he gets poor tithing audits, he’ll have a revelation. The LDS are nice that way; the prophet can change their doctrines & covenants whenever he feels the need. This happened in 1978 with black members. Anyone see a parallel with the Montgomery bus boycott?

alizabeth

November 29th, 2008

I could be wrong, but I say Vote for yourselves! If you want to give strength to those who vote against your happiness, then patronize them and strengthen their wallets. If you want your rights, then stand up for yourselves, take responsibility and go somewhere else. If you want rights, you have to step up. If someone insults you do you go back for more, because they have good food or drink? Who’s selling out who?

If you were running for office would you vote for the other candidate? Vote for yourselves. It’s too bad that gays and others who work at El Coyote will have to find other jobs–or you lose a place to party––but what about you and your brothers and sisters rights??? And all those who come after you? Everything has its price. What is the greater good? Standing for yourself is not standing against anyone else. They will take care of themselves. The choice was made to vote against equality. It is each soul’s responsibility to stand for itself–not against others–but for itself. Then we come together as equals.
As an adult, if you don’t stand for yourself––no one else will!
Peace,
–Liz
xoxox

ask

August 29th, 2009

Don’t go back to El Coyote. Margie lied, as did the restaurant. She didn’t resign, but is back there if full force as if nothing ever happened. I went tonight, August 29, 2009, and there she was just like before floating around everywhere as phony and insincere as she ever was. I don’t like being lied to. I’m not ever returning, and hope none of you do either.

Northampton House

September 2nd, 2010

This is a terrible misrepresentation of the Church’s side of the story. And it’s not said “Mormon Church,” if you want to sound like a journalist with an ounce of credibility you need to inform the public of the official and true name of the Church “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” the same as you would a company. This is a ridiculous article and I respectfully disagree with you.

Timothy Kincaid

September 2nd, 2010

Norhampton House,

You’re a bit late to the conversation, however:

The LDS Church doesn’t have a “side” in the story. This was about Marjorie Christoffersen and El Coyote.

And, if you have not yet been informed, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints uses the term “Mormon Church” in self-reference. It is now accepted as a proper term for the church.

Robert

July 14th, 2011

Timothy Kincaid is an idiot. A self-serving weaking idiot. I can’t believe his article on Marjorie and El Coyote. With friends like Kincaid why does the gay community need enemies.

Robert

July 14th, 2011

Timothy why don’t you just shut the f*ck up. Who died and made you the judge on how gay people should react to oppression.

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Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.