Saddleback’s New Definition, Courtesy Of Dan Savage

Daniel Gonzales

January 28th, 2009

Gay sex advice columnist and author Dan Savage isn’t known for holding back against people he views as enemies of the LGBT community. Angered by anti-gay comments made by former Senator Rick Santorum, Savage named a rather disgusting and previously un-named phenomenon relating to anal-sex after him. Performing a Google search on “Santorum” turns up Savage’s definition as the top item.

And now we get to Savage’s recent anger with Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. What is a “Saddleback” exactly? Savage wasn’t sure it had any definition so he took it upon himself to create one. After polling his readers Savage has announced his new definition of Saddleback / Saddlebacking:

From the new website Saddlebacking.com

Savage finds this new definition apropos because of Warren’s ideological promotion of abstinence-only programs which not only don’t work, but result in teens substituting anal-sex and oral-sex believing they aren’t “real” sex.

Dave

January 28th, 2009

Hmmm. I wonder were today’s teenagers got the idea that oral sex isn’t really sex.

Could it be the whole Monica Lewinsky-Bill Clinton affair? You know, where President Clinton claimed he never had sexual relations with “that woman”?

Devon

January 29th, 2009

Hmm…I didn’t know it was that common. There were a few in my high school who did exactly that, and I wondered at the time how exactly that made them any more virgin than someone else.

Interesting how the elders will include most sexual conduct under “sex”, but the teens use their own ways to mend the cognitive dissonance.

Alex

January 29th, 2009

Yay! I voted for this one!

Richard W. Fitch

January 29th, 2009

It is all really quite obvious. Same-sex couples cannot marry because procreation is the function of marriage. Therefore, an act that does not make conception possible does not divest a person of one’s virginity.

Devon

January 29th, 2009

Fitch,
The problem is that they maintain different definitions at the same time. If oral or anal expressions are not “sex”, then why the condemnation of these activities? Even within their minds, they make a connection approaching the broader definition of sex as something which produces arousal and can lead to orgasm. Ultimately for them, there is a certain expression only allowable through marriage.

Those mentioned behaviors above often fall under the category of immoral sexual activities or perversions under the Bible anyway, so these kids are no more upholding their chastity than if they were to go the official procreative route. All sexual activity outside marriage is wrong in their views (fundamentalist).

GING

January 29th, 2009

LOL LOL LOL!

John

January 29th, 2009

“Could it be the whole Monica Lewinsky-Bill Clinton affair? You know, where President Clinton claimed he never had sexual relations with “that woman”?”

Nope. Much more likely to come (as it were) from the Kevin Smith movie Clerks, which contains similar sentiments, and was shot and released (again, as it were) prior to the Clinton/Lewinsky conference.

Timothy Kincaid

January 29th, 2009

In college I had a friend, a good Catholic, who became quite upset. He was having not-sex with a girl when he got the angle wrong and slipped inside. Just from one little angle adjusment he had lost the virginity which he so treasured.

I found it odd that his God was interested in technicalities and not the principles of the thing.

David C.

January 29th, 2009

I found it odd that his God was interested in technicalities and not the principles of the thing.

I think this says a lot about the warp and weft of the fabric of belief.

Alex

January 29th, 2009

Timothy…. having “not-sex”? Hahaha I love it!

Jim Burroway

January 29th, 2009

Could it be the whole Monica Lewinsky-Bill Clinton affair? You know, where President Clinton claimed he never had sexual relations with “that woman”?

I doubt it. These kids today don’t even know who Monica Lewinsky is. That was so 1998.

Jim

January 30th, 2009

I, for one, rather enjoy having “non-sex” in a very regular basis. Who knew it was “non-sex”. I’ve considered it “real sex” for years.

Yuki Choe

February 1st, 2009

I guess this leaves lesbians out of a sexual equation. Kinda sad, is it not?

Emily K

February 1st, 2009

Don’t be so sure, Yuki. Unfortunately, a lot of people consider everything two women will do together to be “not-sex.”

we’re “kinky” or “confused” or “practicing for boys.”

But I think that is even more sad.

Suricou Raven

February 1st, 2009

But lesbians have one advantage where the fundys are concerned: The bible doesn’t mention them. If you consider what they do as not-sex, they are in the clear. No condemnation, no prohibition, no sin at all. They can go at it all they want, and if th fundys want to condemn they can’t just quote a verse. They have to spend a good thirty seconds imagining a reason for God to agree with them.

Emily K

February 1st, 2009

Unfortunately, while MY Bible (the Tanakh [“old testament”]) doesn’t mention us, the Christian scriptures – specifically, the letters – do (kind of.) There’s that verse about women exchanging their “natural” lusts for unearthly lusts, or something….

Suricou Raven

February 2nd, 2009

I know the verse – it’s in Timothy – but it’s rather weak. For a start, it doesn’t have divine backing, like the words of Jesus – it’s just the personal oppinion of someone who was important enough to get included in the standard canon. It’s also very vague about just what it refers to – just says that women exchanged what is natural for what is unnatural, in a sexual context. Could mean they went lesbian, but it could just as easily mean they got into incest or bestiality, or just kinky sex. I’m sure even back then many kinks were known. Maybe it means they just became promiscuous. So it’s a tricky verse to interpret.

This argument only works on the scriptial geek type of christian though. It’ll be ineffective on the block-headed variety, who simply answer that their version is the obvious truth but that you can’t see it because you havn’t invited the holy spirit into your life, and without the holy spirit it’s impossible to understand the bible.

marthafines

December 24th, 2009

Merry Christmas to all… and to all a good night.

Fred farmer

January 8th, 2010

So me getting saddlebacked by a friend isn’t real sex. Is it okay to tell my wife then?

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March 24th, 2015

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