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Gay Sex Causes Swine Flu

Jim Burroway

August 11th, 2009

So says the Malaysian government’s official news agency:

Avoiding masturbation and homosexual activities are among preventive measures one could take against Influenza A (H1N1), according to an eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy. Dr. V. M. Palaniappan said that such activities caused the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised. “Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection,” he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe.

[via RawStory]

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Burr
August 11th, 2009 | LINK

Brought to you by the same “scientific” method behind conversion therapy!

I mean seriously, even if the cockamamie theory were true, how the hell is heterosexual sex exempt? It sure as hell makes the same amount of friction and heat. How terrifically convenient!

Richard W. Fitch
August 11th, 2009 | LINK

You have to remember, though, that in heterosexual activity you are mixing Yin and Yang, therefore neutralizing the acidic effects. Autoeroticism provides no counterbalance and homosexual activity has the result of doubling the effect and is therefore the most dangerous.

Lindoro Almaviva
August 11th, 2009 | LINK

This is laughable. Thanks for my laugh before bed.

timothy kincaid
August 11th, 2009 | LINK

When did Paul Cameron move to Malaysia?

Leonard Drake
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

Oh wait….HAHAHAHAHA!!!

----
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

What can you expect from a Muslim government? Next thing you know, they’ll round up all the gays they can find and kill them for “health measures.”

Duncan
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

Malaysia is in theory a secular republic. There are certainly cases of state involvement that more independent courts should stop, but the mix of religions means the government cannot listen to Islamist parties, which are in a small minority.

Yuki Choe
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

Unfortunately, Islam is the premier religion in Malaysia. And it is the only country in the world where you are born a Muslim if you are Malay, and can be in hyper trouble if you reject the religion. And Malay Muslims actually make up a huge majority here. The rule of the Syariah had been used to overrule the federal law. So you can say that religion does play a huge role in how they form people’s perception on LGBTs here.

On another thought, can anyone please help me get out of this freaking country?

Penguinsaur
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

“eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy”

I’m no doctor, but ‘complimentary therapy’ sounds really quacky like ‘homeopathic medicine’

BCCanuck
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

“You have to remember, though, that in heterosexual activity you are mixing Yin and Yang, therefore neutralizing the acidic effects.”

Nonsense. See:

http://www.time.com/time/asia/features/sex/sexopener.html

“The I Ching named the yin and yang, that most essential description of male and female, but Taoism insisted that yin and yang existed within each person—probably mankind’s earliest argument for pansexuality.”

Also:

http://life.familyeducation.com/mothers/alternative-health-care/35853.html

“Yin and yang are present in each person, regardless of gender.”

Ben in Oakland
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

I think Richard was joking.

BCCanuck
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

I thought he might be, but just in case he wasn’t … because, you know, the concepts of “yin and yang” have been invoked by religious fundamentalists to justify their homophobia. There is at least one practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine (a Wahhabi) who uses exactly the same argument as Richard uses (jokingly) above. This particular TCM practitioner, when presented with the opinions of gay-positive TCM practitioners, just dismisses them as ignorant propagandists. The Taoists are wrong about yin and yang, but he, a Wahhabi Muslim, is right. He’s right, they’re wrong, just like NARTH is right and the APA is wrong.

Ben in Oakland
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

Gay Sex Causes Swine Flu!!!

Is that because men are pigs?

*sniff*

Richard W. Fitch
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

Would I joke about a serious world-wide pandemic???? ;-)

AdrianT
August 12th, 2009 | LINK

These cranks never cease to amaze me.

By the way, have you heard about the Orthodox Jews taking to the air, to rid the Promised Land of H1N1….?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8196786.stm

ravenbiker
August 13th, 2009 | LINK

I bet that Malaysian doctor got his degree for $29.95 on the internet.

Gee, the depts of anti-gay rhetoric is mindless, bizarre and laughable! I wouldn’t mind seeing it as a reality show on ABC.

shameful
August 22nd, 2009 | LINK

This is so stupid. I am sure they are just against homosexuality. This is so humiliating and unbelievable. What a stupid doctor made this kind of comment.

Oprah
August 24th, 2009 | LINK

Does anyone actually know anyone who has died from H1N1 (Swine Flu)??? I would like to interview ANYONE that could tell me what was different from hte common flu. Did GOOGLE manufacture this outbreak??? What a world!

Burr
August 24th, 2009 | LINK

A friend of a cousin (in her 20s) died from it. It’s real. Perhaps a tad overblown, but it is killing people.

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