Growing Up Gay Attending Coastline Bible Church, Day IV of IV

"Gender Conformity And Giving In To Peer Pressure" and "The Teaching That Lead To The Loss Of My Faith"

Daniel Gonzales

October 9th, 2009

Here is the final installment of my daily series looking at my childhood church’s harmful teachings which ultimately lead me to seek out ex-gay therapy.

I generally blindly accepted everything I was taught in my church’s youth program but their teaching on gender expression was so blatantly hypocritical I didn’t fully buy into it even at the time.  The way we chose to express our gender is determined entirely by peer pressure.

I’ve talked about the eventual loss of my faith in previous videos and interviews but since it so directly relates to this church I felt the need to include it in this series.  So consider this a bonus video:

Part I, “What My Church Taught Me About My Sexuality”
Part II, “The Harm Of Trying To Fit Into Someone Else’s Mold”
Part III, “Distrusting Science When It Doesn’t Agree With Your Faith”
Part IV, “Gender Conformity And Giving In To Peer Pressure”

Tom

October 9th, 2009

Again, Daniel, you leave me anxious to hear MORE of the story – I hope you’re writing a book or following up with more in depth video – you’ve done a great job but I’d like to hear “the rest of the story”. Now, I do know you are a young man so you are still constantly writing your story – but it seem you have more to tell about Coastline.

Thanks for sharing th is story with us. Thank you BTB for making this available to your readers.

tom

Chris McCoy

October 9th, 2009

Thank you for putting together this video diary of what is clearly still a painful/emotional topic for you to discuss.

Putting the faces and stories of real people to the abuse that these ex-gay con-men perpetrate is enlightening.

Seeing first hand the emotional and psychological abuse that GLBT kids are forced to endure for the sake of religious piety, will, I hope, help bring about real substantive change in the hearts of the people who silently consent to that very abuse.

If there were such a thing, those who have undergone such abuse should be awarded a medal of honor equal to the purple heart, for injury in this war against the GLBT community.

Katz

December 9th, 2009

Daniel,
Speaking as a Christian, I’d like to apologize for everything your church put you through. I think that this is a trap that much of the church has fallen into, making homosexuality into this evil thing that needs to be stamped out. I hope that you will be willing to see past the mistakes that so many Christians make and not see it as a reflection on the rest of us or on God.

Edward Miessner

December 28th, 2009

Daniel, thank you for assembling an excellent series of videos that so powerfully tells of your experience trying to turn from gay to straight. I, too, tried to do the same thing. I joined the Boston Church of Christ which at the time was a mind-control cult and therefore an ad-hoc ex-gay ministry. Well, it only served to shatter my faith in Jesus as well. Yet for some reason in the last week my faith came back together, all by itself! This was a result of a woman from ElDorado, AR blackmailing her 23 year old son, Bryce Faulkner, into joining an in-residence ex-gay ministry for 14 months. This young man’s still ongoing tragedy (I believe it shall end well) saddened me so much that it literally caused me to pick up Rev. Samuel Kader’s “Openly Gay, Openly Christian” and read the bulk of it thoroughly. It turns out the Bible absolutely does NOT say what these strongly deluded Christians claim it says against homosexuality. This book and its conclusions permitted God to put my faith back together.

Edward Miessner

July 4th, 2010

I wish I hadn’t said what I said in the above post. Because since I posted the above, I had several runins with bigoted Christians on YouTube and other places. I had to do more research on what the “Holy Bible” says about homosexuality. Which caused me to conclude that that book contradicted itself. Which caused me to do more research into that book, its origins, the origins of Christianity and even the extrabiblical references to the central character of the New Testament, Jesus of Nazareth. And what I found out undermined my faith, completely.

Timothy Kincaid

July 4th, 2010

Edward,

If your faith was based in an assumption that the Bible is/was a book of literal history and – in and of itself – divine and that historical dogma and doctrine are absolute truth, then perhaps it is a good thing that your faith was undermined.

Some, when facing the reality that the Bible does contradict itself and that the early Christians were as conflicted and in dispute as today’s are, will choose to let go of faith entirely. Others will craft a new kind of faith that focuses more on the Divine than on the words on the pages or the rules in the Church.

I wish you the very best, whichever way your journey leads you.

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required)
(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

 

Latest Posts

Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

FBI Reports Massive Surge In Anti-Muslim Hate Crimes in 2015

Baptist General Convention of Texas Warns Churches in Dallas and Austin Over LGBT Inclusion

Trump Selects Alt-Right Nationalist As "Chief Strategist and Senior Counselor"

WITNESS: Bean Blossom, Indiana

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.