Stories from the Frontlines: Capt. Joan Darrah, USN (ret.)

Jim Burroway

April 27th, 2010

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network’s campaign of letters to President Barack Obama to urge repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” continues. Today’s letter comes from retired Navy Capt. Joan Darrah. She served our country for twenty-nine years. Capt. Darrah writes:

I’m sure, as I do, you remember exactly where you were on September 11, 2001.

At 8:30 a.m. that day, I went to a meeting in the Pentagon. At 9:30 a.m., I left that meeting. At 9:37 a.m., American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the Pentagon and destroyed the exact space I had left less than eight minutes earlier, killing seven of my colleagues.

On Sept. 11, 2001, I was a lesbian Navy captain who, at that time, had more than 28 years of dedicated military service. My partner, Lynne Kennedy, an openly gay reference librarian at the Library of Congress, and I had been together for more than 11 years. Each day, I went to work wondering if that would be the day I would be fired because someone had figured out I was gay.

In spite of that stress, somehow Lynne and I had learned to deal with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”; we had made the requisite sacrifices. I had pretended to be straight and had played the games most gays in the military are all too familiar with.

But after Sept. 11 our perspective changed dramatically. In the days and weeks that followed, I went to at least seven funerals and memorial services for shipmates who had been killed in the Pentagon attack. As the numbness began to wear off, it hit me how incredibly alone Lynne would have been had I been killed.

…In fact, had I been killed, Lynne would have been one of the last people to know, because nowhere in my paperwork or emergency contact information had I dared to list Lynne’s name. This realization caused us both to stop and reassess exactly what was most important in our lives. During that process we realized that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was causing us to make a much bigger sacrifice than either of us had ever admitted.

Capt. Darrah retired nine months after the 9/11 attack.

paul j stein

April 27th, 2010

And after she retired to enjoy a full life with her partner America was just a bit less secure due to “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”. Navy Capt. Joan Darrah, Thank You for your years of service!

Eddie89

April 27th, 2010

If this letter doesn’t move President Obama, the Congress and the Senate to actively eliminate DADT, I don’t know what will.

andrew

April 28th, 2010

If we don’t see action on DADT, DOMA, or ENDA, I’m staying home in November. How nice of Obama to list the groups he feels need to be mobilized to ensure a 2010 victory for Dems… while leaving out the LGBT community who volunteered, donated, and turned out for him en masse. Screw the Dems — I’m tired of being taken for granted and used as a piggy bank.

Regan DuCasse

April 28th, 2010

I’m with the rest of you. The Dem party called me up asking for donations, where my vote was going, yadda, yadda…and I gave them an earful of pretty much what’s on this thread.

I’m done too.

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