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Anti-Gay Preacher Arrested for Public Masturbation While Watching Children At a Playground

Jim Burroway

February 28th, 2011

Grant Storms, a locally famous New Orleans preacher who has loudly protesting the annual Southern Decadence festival, is in a bit of a pickle:

Storms told deputies that he was merely having lunch at Lafreniere Park, 3000 Downs Blvd., in his van when he decided to relieve himself using a bottle instead of using the restroom, an incident report said. But two witnesses said they saw Storms through the open windows of his van masturbating himself while watching children on the playground, the report said.

Bond for Storms was set at $5,000, but he was released from jail due to overcrowding.

In 2003, Storms tried to organize a counter-parade during that year’s Southern Decadence, which is held every year on Labor Day in the French Quarter. The effort backfired when business owners, annoyed by his loud bullhorn, convinced the city council to ban bullhorns and other amplified devices during protests. Storms’s counter-protest was intended to warn the general public about rampant public sex in the French Quarter. Not everyone saw that as a reason to stay away. One bar owner in 2003 responded, “This is basically a gay Mardi Gras. Thank you for the exposure is what I’m going to stay. Instead of 110,000 people, we’ll have 210,000 people.”

Storms faces a fine of between $1000 and $2500 or a jail sentence of between six months and two years. I wonder if his left hand knew what his right hand was doing…

Comments

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David Roberts
February 28th, 2011 | LINK

Remind you of someone else? (Think leather and porn)

Ben in Oakland
February 28th, 2011 | LINK

It doesn’t sound like he’s IN a bit of a pickle.

It sounds like he was holding one.

On the other hand, it apparently takes a long enough time to pee into a bottle that two witnesses were required to encompass the time span.

Or possibly, how many hands does it take to pee in a bottle? One to hold the bottle, and one to pump up and down furiously to start the flow of urine.

Wassamatta, grant? Was it just too much trouble to get out of your van to go use the restroom, or were you afraid sdomeone might make too much of it?

More words fail me.

Lindoro Almaviva
February 28th, 2011 | LINK

I wonder if his left hand knew what his right hand was doing…

Doubt it. Chancesare the left hand was busy pinching the right nipple while the right hand was, well, busy.

Ivan
March 1st, 2011 | LINK

Whatever lifts your lunchbox……

Priya Lynn
March 1st, 2011 | LINK

Ivan, I thought it was “Whatever lifts your luggage…”.

Regan DuCasse
March 1st, 2011 | LINK

EEEUUUWWWWWW!!

scooterj
March 1st, 2011 | LINK

While reading this article I was distracted by the Google banner ad, “Please join Michelle Bachman in defending traditional marriage”, that was on the left hand column of this site at the same time. . . both are REALLY offensive.

Ben in Oakland
March 1st, 2011 | LINK

and it turns out that he was masturbating.

I think conservative christians are beyon either irony or embarassment.

Donny D.
March 2nd, 2011 | LINK

What tawdry, dreary, ugly 1950s-style creepiness. These religious right bigots are so pathetic, I swear.

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