Oh that klassy klassy Catholic parish

Timothy Kincaid

June 28th, 2011

File this under “you have got to be kidding me” (San Diego 10News.com)

Local businessman and devout Catholic John Sanfilippo died last week after struggling with emphysema. Friends said Sanfilippo planned for the funeral mass to be held at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church in Little Italy, where Sanfilippo had attended for decades. Friends said he even left the church a large sum of money in his will.

This past weekend, Sanfilippo’s partner of 28 years and Sanfilippo’s family were notified that the church canceled the funeral because Sanfilippo was gay.

The Diocese reversed the parish’s decision, but the family is no longer interested in having the service take place there. I hope that they challenge that provision of the will.


June 28th, 2011

If you go to Thomas Peters blog, he and his followers were opening celebrating the fact that the funeral was canceled. It was just creepy to read those sort of comments.


June 28th, 2011

I had already visited that blog and read the comments. That is one hateful place.

Priya Lynn

June 28th, 2011

Where does one find this Thomas Peters’ blog?

A google search showed no likely example of such a thing.

Richard Rush

June 28th, 2011

Priya, I think this may be it:


Lightning Baltimore

June 28th, 2011

His blog is American Papist. The post in question is here.

Priya Lynn

June 28th, 2011

Thanks Richard and Lightning.


June 28th, 2011

Isn’t it strange how the Diocese is no longer so anti-gay when there’s a large sum of money involved?

Dave H

June 28th, 2011

Unfortunately, the will probably cannot be changed posthumously, unless his partner and/or family can prove that it’s not genuine, was signed under duress, or if the deceased was not of sound mind.


June 28th, 2011

I hope this opens the eyes (and heads) of those of us who support the catholic church.

It remains one of the world’s leaders against fairness for gay people.

Doesn’t that tell you something about the morality of the church? (I was a former member.)

Tony P

June 29th, 2011

I would hope he had a clause in his will that if the church refused Rite of Christian Burial there would be no monetary donation.

Rob in San Diego

June 29th, 2011

Bishop Brom did the same thing back in 2005 when John McCusker died. John and his partner owned a night club called Montage here in San Diego. I was so pissed off at the whole ordeal I went to the funeral which was held at an episcopal church to show solidarity and I was raised catholic. After that funeral Brom issued an apology and changed his mind on not allowing it. Again, after the funeral, I don’t think anyone showed up.


June 29th, 2011

I know I’m going to be the bad guy for saying this but I think it needs to be said. Who’s really the bigger asshole here? Unfortunately I would have to say it’s the deceased. Could he possibly have been unaware of the Catholic Church’s hatred and disgust for him and other openly gay people? Could he REALLY have expected that they were going to treat him differently in death than they told him they believed he should be treated in life? Had he never heard of this happening before? It happens all the time. Had he somehow missed all of the rabidly homophobic edicts issued by priests, Bishops and the Pope on a DAILY basis? Yet he continued to give his devotion and his money to this rabidly homophobic empire.

I’m certainly not defending the Catholic Church or their actions, they are shameful and disgusting; but rather I’m pointing out that the deceased was a willing and active participant in how he was treated and how other people are treated by the Church that he supported and promoted. As horrible as that is to think about, it’s undeniably true.

This is a perfect example of the moral of Aesop’s fable about the Farmer and the Snake (or the Frog and the Scorpion). Snakes BITE, Scorpions STING and the Catholic Church HATES openly, actively, gay people. Any Farmer who doesn’t understand that; any Frog that doesn’t understand that; and any Person who doesn’t understand that WILL (not might) get Bitten, Stung or Fucked respectively. You can’t nurture a viper and then be surprised when it bites you. IT’S WHAT VIPERS DO!

Priya Lynn

June 29th, 2011

Tampazeke said “Who’s really the bigger asshole here? Unfortunately I would have to say it’s the deceased.”.

No Tampazeke, its the church. The deceased wasn’t hurting anyone, the church however is doing its best to hurt gays – the church is the only a*hole here.

While its likely Sanfillippo knew about the Catholic hierarchy’s anti-gay stance its also clear that the local church ignored the hierarchy’s policy, welcomed him for many years and never made an issue out of his orientation. Its not surprising or unreasonable that he’d expect them to continue this acceptance after his death.

If you think expecting the Catholic church to revise its anti-gay position makes one an a*hole then, yes you most certainly are “the bad guy”.


June 29th, 2011

Any gay person who believes that the catholic church really welcomes us is a fool. The church campaigns against us for the right of EMPLOYMENT and freedom from discrimination, as well as the right of marriage.

TampaZeke, you are right. It wasn’t the church’s fault that this person left money to a church that despised him. He should have known better.

It’s a similar situation with the republican party (for the most part).


June 29th, 2011

Who in their right mind would want to buried in that Church (and a few others) anyway?

Priya Lynn

June 29th, 2011

Tony said “TampaZeke, you are right. It wasn’t the church’s fault that this person left money to a church that despised him.”.

I don’t think anyone said that was the church’s fault.


June 29th, 2011

I’ve been reading Religious Right blogs and forums for a couple of years. And it’s sadly remarkable how utterly they’ve turned on gay rights and gay people as the perceived epitome of all their problems.

The more orthodox the group, the more gay clergy (and often, gay laity) it seems to have. This realization- and correlation- is causing incredible cognitive dissonance among RR activists. Which results in all these denial mechanisms and seemingly inexplicable hysterias, notably one about gay clergy potentially using the secular laws to change matters inside “their” churches by reactionary activists.

Regan DuCasse

June 29th, 2011

They refused him a Mass, are they also going to refuse the money he bequeathed them on principle?

Centuries ago, around the time of the Enlightenment, the Church offered companionate marriages to same sex couples. Usually they were wealthy or from powerful families. To be able to marry, they had to donate money or bequeath their property to the Church. So this wasn’t a trend among the masses.
This is also why the Church required celibacy in priests. To assure his assets would go to the Church, rather than heirs or widows.

The CC is quite mercenary in their tactics, while at the same time choosing which part of their religious convictions to forget when convenient.

Sanfillippo’s survivors shouldn’t have to sue for the money back. The Church should have no qualms about doing it on their own.


June 29th, 2011

You can’t possibly have a practising homosexual being laid to rest with the full rites of the Church.

Now a paedophile, for example – that would be quite a different matter. Read the story of a London priest here:



June 29th, 2011

On 9/11, the copilot of the plane that was crashed into the Pentagon happened to be a gay man and a parishioner at St. Matthews – the main Catholic Church here in DC (where JFK was buried from). His partner was treated with full respect by the Church when the pilot’s funeral was held. Clearly not every Catholic Church is as heartless as this one.

And I wonder, do they refuse funerals to all their divorced and remarried parishioners?


June 29th, 2011

Priya, I’d rather be a bad guy for my opinion on this particular issue, than a fool any day.

It wasn’t the Diocese or the larger Church that refused him the funeral. It was the very congregation that he had supported all of those years. Are you really expecting people to believe that they completely changed their teachings and beliefs AFTER Mr. Sanfillippo died and never expressed it to its congregants prior?

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