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From James to Tyler

Timothy Kincaid

February 1st, 2012

After Tyler Clementi was humiliated at school and after he stepped off the side of the George Washington Bridge, his story was everywhere. But it wasn’t really Tyler’s story, just a few moments at its end.

We didn’t really get to know Tyler. But now his older brother – his older gay brother – fills in the picture a little.

Out Magazine has published some of James’ thoughts composed as letters to Tyler.

(yes, Regan, you will need tissues)



Reed Boyer
February 1st, 2012 | LINK

Regan will get the tissues after I’ve done with them. I have no words.

February 1st, 2012 | LINK

Now I’m in serious need of tissues too.

February 1st, 2012 | LINK

*passes the tissues*

Yeah, I needed them, too.

Bruce in VA
February 2nd, 2012 | LINK

I did not have any tissues at hand while reading this, because I am a college freshman (sitting more or less where Tyler was sitting, in terms of emotionally maturing, incidentally) and therefore on a tight budget.

I regretted this fact afterwards.

Regan DuCasse
February 2nd, 2012 | LINK

My dear friends…
I get the hard copy of People, as well as OUT/Advocate.
Tyler’s family was profiled in People a few months ago. How they have moved forward in committing to advocacy. It was mentioned that one of their older sons, James was also gay.
For me, so many things go very deeply. I’ve wondered why. I don’t have a dog in the fight.
I really don’t.
And these methods of suicides…I know what the result would be on these tender bodies. There would be terrible trauma, that gives a visible evidence to the hate that caused it.
All the pictures of Tyler, show us a music loving geek, of light coloring and an open pleasant face.
No one, not even his tormentors, would have to see what he’d look like after a long fall, and a week in a river.
I wish they’d be FORCED to look at what their sense of humor did to him.

And it’s hard to imagine the kind of maliciousness that made a kid pump two bullets into the head of another, or the beatings that Asher took, coming from KIDS.

Most days, I am beyond them now. What I feel is an anger, and determination that rises much quicker and stronger than it used to.
And I THINK…what to say, that’s hard, fast and efficient like a bullet to the hardest of hearts.
I’ll save these tears for now. The young folks that I know, that I want to prepare and counsel and save, are comforted by the warrior spirit in me that teaches strategy and enables fire and iron in their own. I won’t show them, or any others tears.
The Tylers, Seths, Sakias and Scotty Joes…grow within me. Within us all.
I felt FIRE when I read the story.
And it’s with that, we can give fire to the Clementi family in the name of all the rest.

Timothy Kincaid
February 2nd, 2012 | LINK


You DO have a dog in the fight. It’s your heart.

February 3rd, 2012 | LINK


As a certain gay man once told me on the gay forum where I would later became a moderator, “It’s our shared humanity”.

That’s our “dog” in this fight.

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