Dharun Ravi Apologizes for “Childish Choices”

Jim Burroway

May 29th, 2012

Dharun Ravi, the former Rutgers University student who was convicted in the spycam case, has issued an apology:

I accept responsibility for and regret my thoughtless, insensitive, immature, stupid and childish choices that I made on September 19, 2010 and September 21, 2010. My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, were nonetheless the wrong choices and decisions. I apologize to everyone affected by those choices.

Garden State Equality’s Steven Goldstein questions the timing of the apology:

We have mixed emotions, and so rather than take an organizational stance just yet, we have posited the question to our members on (the group’s) Facebook page to ask what they think,” Goldstein said.

Garden State Equality has said Ravi deserves more jail time than he received but “nowhere near” the maximum sentence he could have received.

“We have said that our hearts would be open to an apology had Ravi opened his heart up to us all,” Goldstein said. “He could have apologized in a way that would not have compromised his legal position. But he came across to many of us as unremorseful both before the trial and in engineered media appearances after the verdict.”

Ravi was sentenced to 30 days in jail, three years’ probation, 300 hours of community service, and nearly $11,000 in fines and restitution. He will begin serving his jail sentence on May 31. Because the state is appealing the sentence, it is automatically stayed. But he does have the right to go ahead and serve it to get it out of the way, as long as he waves any double jeopardy claim. He will appear in court tomorrow to formally waive that claim.

Timothy (TRiG)

May 30th, 2012

waves > waives


May 30th, 2012

Inadequate, stolid, poorly timed.

If there’s actions behind it, perhaps. But so far, this is just noise and lips flapping.


May 30th, 2012

It’s not a real apology if it’s a lie.

“or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone”

If he wasn’t trying to humiliate and embarass his roommate then what was the point of what he did? This guy just learned he can get away with getting someone killed.


May 30th, 2012

“If he wasn’t trying to humiliate and embarass his roommate then what was the point of what he did? This guy just learned he can get away with getting someone killed. – Boo”

I don’t think Ravi ever thought his roommate would commit suicide over his senseless, childish prank of humiliation. Sadly, his roommate had trouble dealing with his homosexuality and very little support from others. Let’s pray things change for the better for all gay teenagers.

Priya Lynn

May 30th, 2012

Ravi said “My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, were nonetheless the wrong choices and decisions.”.

If he wasn’t motivated by any of those things then its virtually impossible to conceive of any reason he took the actions he did. This apology just isn’t credible.

Regan DuCasse

May 30th, 2012

Let me tell you something Charles: Ravi didn’t CARE what Tyler would do. Sociopaths have a keen sense of where and how to hurt someone the most. That is their nature. He knew that Tyler was extremely vulnerable, harbored something that would maximize Ravi’s desire to hurt him as much as possible. He didn’t HAVE to know it would result in suicide, he didn’t give a shit if it COULD.

His motive was mean, it meant to hurt and humiliate Tyler as much as possible. And most of all, the reason was to GET RID of Tyler, who he didn’t like.

Ravi is dangerous. Because sociopaths ARE. They are indifferent to the pain they inflict and they WANT to. And only put on a phony act (and sometimes not convincingly) so that THEY won’t be inconvenienced and NO other reason.
Ravi deserves a year, AND deportation.
He’s tried to appeal the 30 days. Meaning he doesn’t want to have to endure ANY accountability for what he did.
His mother disgusts me too. Her carrying on in court was CRASS and also indifferent to the situation the Clementi’s are in.

This country has plenty of it’s own homegrown sociopaths. We could stand to lose another one to deportation.
That’s WAY past fair.
And trust me, I know a sociopath when I see one.


May 30th, 2012

Regan, Ravi may be a sociopath. I don’t know. And, I don’t think that you can tell by just looking. Frankly, I do think he is totally lying in his apology where he says, “My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, ……” but I don’t think that he thought his roommate would commit suicide. Personally, I will never forgive him.


May 30th, 2012

I agree that he should have to serve more time than he was given.

I don’t want to be the gay man who sees gay folk everywhere, but my gaydar pings loudly at this man. We need to give him room to come out eventually. Maybe he was curious because Clementi knew how to do something that Ravi needed to know.

Regan DuCasse

May 30th, 2012

Charles, I don’t make that assessment just by looking.
It’s a professional observation made by knowing what their victims are like, what their typical behavior is like, and how they respond when confronted with it.

I repeat: he didn’t HAVE to know that Tyler would commit suicide. I just told you, that sociopaths exploit vulnerability and deliberately act to HURT and humiliate in the worst way possible.
He is typical of the non confrontational type, but definitely fits the profile of someone who takes pleasure in doing what he can just shy of the physical.
To not minimize his personality type, because of what he didn’t predict.
He wouldn’t have BOTHERED at all, if he hadn’t sensed (as PREDATORS can), what would have hurt Tyler the most.

It’s what I know about how predatory sociopaths behave. And he’s no different just because because he didn’t intend Tyler’s suicide.
That is what is the least important factor.
What is, is his intention to maximize whatever hurt on someone at their weakest and least resistant moment.
It would STILL be appropriate for him to serve a year, then be deported.
He’s still dangerous.


May 30th, 2012

Regan, you were not in the courtroom and you have never met Ravi, yet you make all these grand assumptions. If Ravi is a sociopath, it is not going to matter whether he is in jail for one month or one year. He will still be a sociopath. I assume that Ravi will have a criminal record that will follow him the rest of his life if he decides to remain in this country. In the end it will be up to God to render the final justice in this case.

I can only pray that we can somehow get young gays and lesbians the support system they need in order to deal with people such as Ravi.


May 31st, 2012

Charles- there are two things we can know; his apology was insincere, and a young man is dead.


May 31st, 2012

Inadequate, stolid, poorly timed.

If there’s actions behind it, perhaps. But so far, this is just noise and lips flapping.

I think the explanation behind this “apology” can be found in this article.

But the judge, who last week criticized Mr. Ravi for not once apologizing for what he had done, said he would not be an “appropriate” spokesman against bias, given that he had barely acknowledged any wrongdoing.

Make of it what you will but this “apology” is just a cynical attempt to try and garner some sympathy for a person who still won’t admit that the choices that he made on those fateful days directly contributed to the death of another human being.

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