Box Turtle Bulletin
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobby“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbySeptember 7th, 2012
When Baltimore Raven Brendon Ayanbadejo came out in support of equality, it got Emmett Burns a little perturbed. So much so that he wrote to Ayambadejo’s employer to insist that he “inhibit such expressions”. This didn’t sit well with fellow equality supporter, Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe.
Kluwe responded. It’s required reading. Seriously, you MUST read this:
Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,
I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland’s state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit…
Now go to Deadspin and read the rest.
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tim
September 7th, 2012
It took my personal trainer to inform me that Kluwe was a punter for the Vikings. I originally followed him because of his video game tweets.
He also has an epic take down of a guy who put down crossfit – relevant article: http://deadspin.com/5929673/vikings-punter-and-crossfit-fan-chris-kluwe-trolled-the-shit-out-of-gawker-last-night
TampaZeke
September 7th, 2012
Kluwe is officially on my short list of heroes!
David in Tucson
September 7th, 2012
Masterful, articulate use of both polysyllabic language and well-calibrated profanity. Wonderful takedown of Burns (who doesn’t deserve in any way to be part of the Democratic party!).
David Waite
September 7th, 2012
All right. You all know what to do.
1. type google.com in your browser address bar.
2. when the search page loads, type “emmett c burns jr fromunda” in the search terms box.
3. repeat steps 1 and 2 as many times a day, and for as many days as you can bear to, or have time for.
Make it so.
John
September 7th, 2012
As a Vikings fan I’ve always loved Chris Kluwe. He’s a great punter, and he’s always been very vocal about a lot of things. I haven’t always agreed with him, but he’s a great asset to the Twin Cities and I’m glad he’s here.
Hunter
September 7th, 2012
That was just about the best response to one of those “I’ve got mine, screw you” morons I’ve seen.
JohnAGJ
September 10th, 2012
Kudos to both these players! Kluwe’s “clean” version is hilraious:
http://blogs.twincities.com/outofbounds/2012/09/08/out-of-bounds-blog-no-8-inquisitive-kitten-pawing-at-yarn/
“BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE SPARKLEPONY”, indeed. :)
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