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Christians Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Marry Because Christians Aren’t Monogamous

Jim Burroway

December 3rd, 2013

There’s a new dating site making a big splash: CristianSwingers.com:

Yes, they pixilated their own welcome screen.

The web site is here to help you to:

Meet Local Christian Swingers Who Believe That an Open & Honest Relationship With Each Other Will Keep Any Marriage Fresh and Exciting. Click To Get Started!

The site explains:

For Christian Swingers things are not easy – often other religious people judge you, out of ignorance or envy, telling you that your lifestyle and love practices are wrong. But the Bible teaches us ‘Judge not lest ye be judged’ and there’s that verse about the first stone… but if you’re keen on keeping your privacy, well – yours, and don’t want your friends, coworkers, other PTA members or just about anyone else to know that you don’t have a problem with faith and enjoying free love with other couples, this sitecan help you! It’s designed to cater to the needs of those like you: devout Christian couples who still want to have an active love life and share it with another, in good faith!

Comments

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Priya Lynn
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

I didn’t see that coming.

Ben in Oakland
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

It’s no worse than any other kind of Christian hypocrisy.

The word of god is eternal and never changes until someone wants a shrimp cocktail or a bacon Sandwich. Then it’s off with the dietary laws.

The problem is the No True Christian fallacy. In debating these topics over the years, I’ve had the True Christians (TM) claim that the Old Testament has been tossed in its entirety. I’ve had the Real Christians (TM) claim that all of the moral laws are in effect, but the dietary and sumptuary laws are no longer valid, though the question of what exactly constitutes moral laws is a thorn in their side, so to speak. I’ve had the Veritable Christians (TM) agree with that, but who aver that any of the moral laws that are a little too barbarous for our modern sensibilities, like stoning your daughter if she isnt a virgin, are no longer in effect, though the badness of non-virginity remains. I’ve had the Actual Christians (tM), also known as Novus Ordem qui Eligit Cerasis, claim that God’s Word NEVER changes, except of course, when it does. Even THEY wouldn’t go so far as to follow the deuteronomical and completely moral command to slay all the unbelievers in their midst– as long as there is a chance they might have to pay for the crime.

These people are no different. quite aside from my belief that it isn’t an, ahem, True Christian website, but someone who knows a hypocrite and a buck when he sees one. One could argue that divorce is an intrinsic moral evil, to borrow a useful phrase from a certain kind of Christian who doesn’t believe it for a moment.

This is just a lesser evil–infidelity– to prevent a greater evil– the breaking of a covenant with Gawdamighty. Sounds like a truly American solution to the problem, like lite butter–diluted with far cheaper canola oil.

this is conservative Christianity lite, simply diluted with snake oil.

Leo88
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

I get spammed by both, Christian Mingle and Ashley Madison. Frequently on the same day.

Funny, as a gay man I’m not a exactly a prime prospect for either. interesting, in that they seem to be pulling their email addresses from the same lists.

FYoung
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

Well said, Ben.

Ben In Oakland
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

Thanks.

Atriokke
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

Lol Ben. The term “true christians” is the embodiment of a contextually-identical polyseme. Making conversations based on the term is ambiguous enough as to make it equivalent to discussing a term that does not yet exist. Discussion just triggers imagination and an ever malleable term. It’d be a tireless hobby/work to try to settle the term to anything meaningful.

TampaZeke
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

Just don’t swing into any homa-sesh-ality because that would be WRONG and you’ll go straight to hell!

Timothy Kincaid
December 3rd, 2013 | LINK

Well that’s a good point, Zeke.

Whatever you do, don’t watch while that big strong handsome man makes love to your wife. You’d better keep your eyes and your thoughts on you over here with his wife (or better yet “someone else’s wife” cuz ya don’t want to think too much about him).

Oooops, caught ya looking!

Neil
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

I’ve heard that many people become Chritians due to childhood trauma and sexual abuse.

Christianity is not a lifestyle choice I think I can support. It is heartening, though, that thousands have chosen to change and now lead a life free of Christianity.

Paul Douglas
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

This site has gotta be fake! Great idea though.

Ben, very articulate writing. They all claim to be the true christianists and most of them believe the others are either misguided or heretics.
Best thing I ever did was to step outside the christian box.

TwirlyGirly
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

Paul wrote: This site has gotta be fake! Great idea though.

I don’t think it is, though.

It will be interesting to see whether it takes off.

I used to debate in a Yahoo Group, and the group’s owner was vehemently anti-gay. Whenever he’d start ranting about gays having public sex, I’d point out the number of swinger’s clubs there were just in his own (small, midwestern) state.

Naturally, he ignored this.

AS IF having sex with someone other than one’s spouse, and/or in view of others, was the sole province of people who are gay (and in reality, only a relatively small percentage of people who are gay routinely have sex in public).

jerry
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

What we need is a comment by Brian Brown.

Ben in Oakland
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

Twirly, two points.

A small percentage of gay men have sex in public. Not even gay men, necessarily. Just men who have sex with men. Lesbians, I’m pretty sure, don’t.

I suspect one would have no problem finding proof of heterosexuals having sex in public. Tosh showed someone’s video of a girl giving a boy a handjob in a public place. I’ve seen three such videos.

try weren’t porn, just, um. Revealing.

Timothy Kincaid
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

Paul,

“They all claim to be the true christianists…”

No. They all claim to be Christians. “Christianist” is a derogatory term used as a slur.

Ben In Oakland
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

Timothy, I almost always agree with you, but here’s one place where I will disagree.

Christianist, when applied to Christians in general, is indeed a slur.

Christianist, when applied to those of the dominionist variety of christian

Ben In Oakland
December 4th, 2013 | LINK

sorry, I sneezed.

I left off “is not a slur, but perhaps another way of specifying what kind of dominionist we’re talking about.”

DN
December 5th, 2013 | LINK

No, I disagree 100%, Timothy.

Anyone who attempts to make christian morality part of law is a christianist. I use the term all the time – if you’re offended by it, well, that’s your damned problem.

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