Box Turtle Bulletin
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobby“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbyMarch 7th, 2014
I’d like to lighten things up with a few fun little items. These are too dumb to feed your outrage monster. They’re just good for a chuckle.
You’re gay because climate change.
I’ve seen a lot of gay conspiracies in my time, but this comment at LifeSiteNews has to be one of my favorites.
The gay agenda is part of the greening of the globe. The left considers co2 to be the cause of global warming and that too many people are breathing on the planet .They know that sexual urge is too powerful to sublimate so they go for queering the public so they won’t breed.The U.K. did a study last week saying the happiest married couple are gay with no children.
This adds new depth to the classic imperative, It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. By the way, that theory has garnered four up-votes.
NOM isn’t a regular mom. NOM is a cool mom.
I no longer spend a lot of time on NOM because they don’t seem even the slightest bit relevant anymore. I do check in, though, and here’s what they have for us today.
Despite being grammatically incorrect, our culture has officially made the verb “fail” into a noun, and the expression seems here to stay.
If you’re not a grammar geek, just skip this paragraph. NOM, of course, messed up that sentence something awful. As written, “Despite being grammatically incorrect” modifies, “our culture,” in which case the “Despite” makes no sense at all. Obviously, that phrase is meant to describe making a verb into a noun, but the sentence just isn’t built like that. I can imagine why no one else might find this amusing, but I spent too many years teaching the sentence correction section of the GMAT and explaining to students why they should never write things like, “Grazing on the succulent grass, we saw a herd of buffalo.” Of course, NOM’s sentence is extra fun because it’s actually about grammar. And for all of you eager to point out my own grammatical mistakes, let me assuage your concerns by saying shut up.
NOM then takes even more time to enlighten its readers about the FAIL phenomenon.
It pops up on social media all the time: a major political gaffe or celebrity embarrassment, for example, is labeled a major #fail, as occurred at the recent Oscar ceremony with John Travolta’s unfortunate pronunciation of artist Idina Menzel’s name.
That’s adorable because, for their readers, it’s necessary.
And then there’s the hashtag, as in #hashtagsareover. And I’m not sure hashtags were ever under when it comes to essays. NOM says “fail” seven times in this piece and every time it puts that damn hashtag in front the word, even in complete sentences.
…we witnessed a huge #fail…the major #fail of the media…we can turn our public discourse from a major #fail to a big #win!
Oh my. These carefully-explained attempts to be hip are always delightfully painful.
White homo demons with American Express cards
Finally, you may have seen this video from Atlah World Missionary Church Rev. James David Manning, in which he warns black women that Obama has unleashed homosexual demons on black men. Most people are reacting to the religious nuttery of it, but my favorite part was completely secular. He warns the ladies in his congregation:
You will have a very hard time competing against a white homosexual male. He’s usually got money. A white homo usually has an American Express card, he usually has an opportunity at the theater. Homos love the theater. They love to go out to dinner, parties. They love that kind of a thing. And as a black woman, you can’t compete!
Something tells me the Rev. Manning would love an invite to the theater. Have a good weekend!
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Tara TASW
March 7th, 2014
American Express cards still exist?
Leo88
March 8th, 2014
I’m asking this question honestly to anyone who might know. Is there any truth to this meme about Africa being a locus for sex tourism? I know sex tourism is real thing, more a heterosexual thing than a gay thing, but I associate it more with areas of Southeast Asia.
Africa, a continent with one of highest rates of HIV, some of the worst healthcare, some of the most unhinged governments is a place where western tourists go seeking sex? Is this a real thing?
Timothy Kincaid
March 8th, 2014
I think you meant:
;)
Ben in Oakland
March 8th, 2014
Timothy, I think you meant:
…saying, “Shut up.”
It was a capital offense.
Ben in Oakland
March 8th, 2014
More secular fun.
“You will have a very hard time competing against a white homosexual male.” Is that because WHM’s aren’t into dating black women, white women or any women? Or is he saying that black men will go with anyone?
“He’s usually got money.” Re telling an old joke, the happiest man in the world is a WHM. The white male is usually happy if he has a nickel, and the the white homo has a nickel.
“A white homo usually has an American Express card,” no, we have master cards. they’re priceless.
“he usually has an opportunity at the theater.” What does it mean?
“Homos love the theater. They love to go out to dinner, parties. They love that kind of a thing.” Yes, we do. Nothing says “big homo” more than a dinner party.
“And as a black woman, you can’t compete!” Kaveri have seduced more black men than I can count by taking them outto dinner, because the only thing between straight black men and going gay is a free dinner, just like the only thing between straight white men and going gay is a six pack.
Christ was I hungry last night. I don’t remember a thing that happened.
Timothy Kincaid
March 9th, 2014
Ben, perfect response.
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