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Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
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Posts for February, 2010

Startling discoveries about Lauren Ashley

Timothy Kincaid

February 26th, 2010

When the Pop Tart at Fox News first broke the story about how Lauren Ashley, the self-titled “Miss Beverly Hills”, opposed marriage equality, they played into her quest for that elusive minute and a half of fame.

Since then she’s been denounced by the city of Beverly Hills and pretty much anyone else with a blog and a sense of humor.

But now she has spoken with NBC Ch 4 to clarify that she does really mean that the Bible should be taken literally. And in the process sh revealed a number of exciting revelations to report.

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There’s the discovery that Lauren seems not to be able to quote the scripture she “quoted” to Fox News. In fact, she doesn’t know much about it other than that it was “from Leviticus”.

There was the exciting news that in Christianity there is “forgiveness and receipt* from Jesus, himself” which gives new meaning to “be sure to keep your receipt.” But she was a bit stumped when asked, “if they get to know Jesus, can they remain gay?”

But perhaps the most startling revelation of all is that apparently, Lauren Ashley seems to only own one top!


No, Timothy, no. Jesus doesn’t give a receipt, he gives mercy. Mercy.

Sigh. It was so much more fun when I thought she said ‘receipt’.

NOM latches onto “Miss Beverly Hills”

Timothy Kincaid

February 25th, 2010

Lauren ashley sultryOh you saw coming, didn’t you? You just had to know that Maggie Gallagher would see the lovely Lauren Ashley, hear her opposition to marriage equality, and see an opportunity to create a new martyr. (Fox News)

And while the City of Beverly Hills is shunning the pageant princess, she has garnered strong support from the National Organization for Marriage.

“I’m not surprised that Miss Beverly Hills, Lauren Ashley, opposes gay marriage — after all 45 percent of young Californians voted for Prop 8, as did 7 million Californians generally,” the organization’s president, Maggie Gallagher, told us. “But I have to say, I am impressed with her courage in coming forward and for speaking up for Carrie. The elected officials of city of Beverly Hills are not demonstrating tolerance or kindness by continuing the avalanche of hatred against supporters of Prop 8.”

Ah, such courage it took to fill out the paperwork, claim a city she doesn’t live in, call up a news reporter for a conservative network, and desperately beg for attention. Yeah, courage, un-huh.

But Maggie should be careful. The last time she latched onto a paragon of heterosexual-only virtue it turned out that she had her own sex tape. Who knows what this little delusional attention-starved girl has in her closet?

Beverly Hills condemns “Miss Beverly Hills”

Timothy Kincaid

February 24th, 2010

lauren ashleyWhen I first saw the pictures of Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills, I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I’ve seen many a girl from Beverly Hills and, well, let’s just say that her look, her style, and her (ahem) body image are not really what Beverly Hills might consider to be appropriate for a beauty queen. Just saying.

So I went searching for any notice of Miss Ashley winning a local competition; but no success. Then I tried the Miss California USA site – where I saw that one could apply on their own without a city sponsor, which I thought was peculiar.

But I remember that Carrie Prejean was legitimately Miss San Diego so perhaps…? Anyway, I gave Lauren the benefit of the doubt.

Now I just have to laugh at myself.

Because when Lauren decided to go for her minute and a half of fame, she went all out. Not only did she declare her opposition to marriage (sure to get attention) but she also adopted a high profile city.

Alas, poor girl. The City of Beverly Hills was not as amused. They issued a press release:

City of Beverly Hills Disavows Miss California USA Contestant\’s Statements

Beverly Hills, CA – The City of Beverly Hills today denounced statements made by Miss California USA contestant Lauren Ashley, the self-described Miss Beverly Hills. Ms. Ashley resides in Pasadena and is currently a contestant for the Miss California USA title. She does not represent Beverly Hills in any capacity.

The City of Beverly Hills strongly condemns Ms. Ashley\’s recent statements and has contacted pageant officials to determine ways to formally prevent any beauty contestants claiming the title of Miss Beverly Hills in the future. The City of Beverly Hills does not sponsor a beauty pageant and has no association with Miss California USA. As such, there should be no individual claiming the title of Miss Beverly Hills.

“The City Council was shocked to see statements made by a beauty pageant contestant under the name of Beverly Hills who does not live in nor represent our city. We are dismayed by any potential association with the City of Beverly Hills, which has a long history of tolerance and respect,” said Beverly Hills Mayor Nancy Krasne.

Ya see, Beverly Hills likes its gay marriages. It voted 66% to 34% against Proposition 8 and isn’t really known for its conservative Christian population. And I am sure that Mayor Krasne took one look at Ms. Ashley’s lovely ensemble of red stretch top, ill-fitting jeans, white wedges and floppy hat and thought, “What’s going on? We don’t have any trailer parks within city limits!”

But I see another problem lurking. Now Pasadena is implicated in Ms. Ashley’s publicity prank. And while not as liberal as Beverly Hills (they voted against Prop 8 by 58% to 42%), they do pride themselves in having good taste.

Miss Beverly Hills thinks gay people should “surely be put to death”

Timothy Kincaid

February 23rd, 2010

lauren ashley
This is Lauren Ashley, the Miss Beverly Hills contestant to the Miss California USA beauty pageant. Yes, that Beverly Hills. I kid you not.

And following in the shoes of Carrie Prejean, Lauren wants everyone to know that she too opposes marriage equality for gay people. But if we take her at her words, she wouldn’t stop there. (Fox News Pop Tarts)

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white,” Ashley told Pop Tarts.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

Ashley, who says, “There’s no hate between me and anyone” doesn’t explain whether this “bringing of death upon you” also applies to her “lot of friends that are gay”, or only to those who want to get married. Somehow I just don’t think she’s ever really thought about what it would mean to live according to Leviticus.

I’m sure that this poor foolish girl is all delighted that she’s found an issue that will give her an additional minute and a half of fame. And no doubt she’ll try and latch onto Carrie’s martyrdom when she doesn’t make the first cut.

But sadly for Lauren, she does not yet know the cost of selling your soul to a campaign of discrimination. And she doesn’t realize that she doesn’t quite have what it takes to headline a Family Values dinner. No one is impressed that you’re a champion of virginity when, well, they can’t fantasize about taking it from you.